Annals of Athena

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A Household Crisis

January 9th 2015 4:56 pm
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Well, I know the vet wants me to eat less, and the humans—It’s so hard fur them to resist peer pressure (just say no, mom!)—have been complying with his wishes by not refilling my food dish right away when I empty it. I tend to be tolerant of their little foibles, but when fifteen whole minutes had gone by and dad still hadn’t refilled my dish, I decided that enough was enough! I sat down near the dish and started yelling at the top of my lungs: Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Dad burst from the basement where he was pursuing one of his silly art projects and ran up the stairs, while mom ran around distraught saying, “What is it? What is it? Does something hurt you?” and tearing at her hair. FINALLY they noticed that the bottom of my food dish was shining up at them reproachfully, and dad went to remedy the deficiency. Success!


A New Worry

November 9th 2014 8:27 pm
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Copy, Hazel Mazel, and Tiger have all been in touch to tell me not to worry about my dad’s fur because it will grow back (thanks fur the gifts, guys! Meow, I wonder when diary comments will be working again?). So I guess I don’t have to worry. But I’ve been thinking—it’s not a good idea fur our humans to alter their appearance too much because it makes it harder fur us to recognize them. So, humans, take it easy on the haircuts!

True, we can still recognize them by their smell—you don’t suppose humans can get smellcuts, do you? *flips tail anxiously*


Is My Dad Sick?!

November 5th 2014 6:01 pm
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I’m so worried about my dad! He went out yesterday and when he came back, an hour later, a lot of the fur on his head was gone—just vanished! He must be sick! How did his fur get so short? Mom said something about a barbershop, but I don’t know what that is. Is it someplace humans go to be hurt?! Where is my dad’s fur?

I’m worried that it might have fallen out because he’s sick. I’ve been getting up on the sofa behind him to lick the remaining fur on the back of his head—I want him to be well! Meow, meow, meow!


The Mouse

May 2nd 2014 7:37 pm
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I caught a mouse! I caught a real mousie! I found it downstairs in the basement and brought it upstairs in my teeth to show the humans. They thought it was a toy--were they surprised when I dropped it and it scampered away! (But why was mom so upset? I don't get it.) Anyway, it's gone now--I wonder where it went? Mom says I have to catch it as soon as possible, and not to bother to show it to her next time! *giggles* She made dad set out a trap in the part of the basement I'm not allowed to get to. She only wants me to catch it if it comes out, I guess.


The Raccoon

March 7th 2014 1:10 pm
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Today, when I woke from my mid-morning nap and went downstairs to my basement playroom to check on dad, who was doing something with the computer down there, I found that instead of sitting nicely at the computer (which I allow him to do in my playroom), he was over by the sliding glass door, tapping on it and looking outside. I went over to see what was going on and saw that on the other side of the door was an enormous raccoon, about twice my size, obviously interested in invading my palace!

Dad was trying to chase it away, but it was obviously unimpressed. I raced over to stand next to dad and gave that nasty raccoon a good, hard, cold stare—and after looking back at me and seeing that the puny human was not defending his home all by himself, it ran off! Get lost, Mr. Raccoon! I am in charge here. I will defend this territory. I will protect the humans. *victory dance*



March 1st 2014 2:35 pm
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Dad found some of my old catnip mousies under the bed. I have catnip mousies in a variety of colors--pink, orange, green, and blue. Well some of the mousies had evidently been hidden there fur a long time, and some of their color had bled onto the rug. I wonder what could have caused that? There isn't any water. It seems very odd.



February 28th 2014 3:36 pm
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Two signs of spring at my house! (1) The red witch hazel near our front door is finally starting to bloom (it's about two weeks late). The flowers are tiny--each one is about the same size as one of my claws--but they're cute, like little red bows. (2) The tree rose which mom winters over in the garage isn't dead after all, as we thought--some new leaf buds are starting to open.

I'm so tired of winter--dad has had to spend so much time shoveling snow that it cuts into his time playing with me. That is not acceptable. Go away, nasty winter! Spring is coming!



February 27th 2014 12:38 pm
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Today they took me to the v-e-t! I was having a nice nap downstairs when I decided to go upstairs fur a snack, and found that the doors to several rooms (with especially effective hiding places) were closed. I knew something was up, but it was too late to hide—the faithless humans had tricked me! Meow! Dad picked me up and mom got out the carrier. He put me in and she zipped it over my head—I was trapped! Then it was off to the CAR! I had to leave MY PALACE and ride in the CAR!

I let them know how I felt about it, all right. The trip to the vet took about 15 minutes, and that’s about half the number of long, angry meows they had to listen to.

When I got to the vet I decided to adopt a nonviolent, passive resistance strategy—thank you, Gandhi! I went limp and forced them to pick me up and move me themselves if they wanted. Meanwhile, I used the usual feline technique to make myself as heavy as possible. The vet tech could hardly manage to carry me.

On the bright side, while the trip seemed interminable to me, the whole thing actually didn’t last long. Dr. Gavaletz said the diet formulation of my usual food seemed to be working, as I had actually lost about ¾ of a pound since my last visit. The growth on my face that he removed a year and a half ago has not grown back (on his own cat, a similar growth grew back twice in the same amount of time). My teeth are in good shape, and my luxurious fur is abundant and healthy (good information to have as we approach shedding season, MOL!).

On the way back I didn’t really need to meow, since I knew very well that I was being taken home, but I decided to anyway as a matter of principle and to make sure they wouldn’t think about making any stops along the way. It’s very important to be firm with humans!

As soon as I got home I ran around to make sure nothing had changed during my absence. Then it was time fur a long, healing nap. . . .


Night Care of Humans

November 13th 2013 10:31 am
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After supervising their humans all day, many kitties probably assume that once the humans are in bed, it’s finally safe to leave them unattended and go on to more important business, like checking the windows to see if any strangers are prowling around the home territory or making sure that all the chairs and sofas get freshly decorated with cat fur. But, in fact, humans need care at night as well as during the daytime!

First of all, humans tend to wander—they don’t stay where you put them. Especially, at night, they tend to get up to make visits to the human litter box, during which trips they are extremely likely to bump into things and hurt themselves because, let’s face it, their vision is inferior to ours. I find that this problem can be solved by providing the meandering human with a kitty escort, making sure to herd him or her in the right direction, and, by getting in the way, also reminding the human of the need to be careful.

Second, humans are prone to nightmares of various sorts, and these cause them distress. An attentive kitty will intervene to end the nightmare and soothe the human involved. Fur example, my dad grew up in a country where there was a war going on. Even now, decades later, he occasionally dreams that he is being chased by enemy soldiers, and he starts muttering noisily to himself, thus disturbing the quiet of the home. But a few swipes from my tail across his silly head generally sweep these pesky soldiers away so peace is restored!

Nightmares are not the only bad things that flit through wayward human brains at night. There are bad thoughts, too. An example of a bad thought would be something like my mom thinking, as she drifts off to sleep, “Hmm, that kitty jumping up and down on my tummy is kind of heavy. Maybe the vet wasn’t wrong when he suggested a diet with fewer treats. . . .” Meow! A few tail swipes can get rid of that kind of nastiness, too.

So, despite the extra trouble, it’s not a good idea to leave your humans alone at night. An attentive kitty will be sure to keep careful watch over them!


A Mighty Warrior

October 20th 2013 8:30 am
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I wish dad would stop referring to me as his "sweet little warrior princess."

I am not a sweet little warrior princess. I am a tough, strong, fierce little warrior princess, and he'd better keep that in mind!

When I bring a catnip mousie or a long, snaky leaf from the dracena plant into the bedroom at night and wake him up, that's not a lullaby I am singing--it's a Victory Song. Hail to the mighty warrior, successful in battle! Hail to me!

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