January 28th 2008 12:40 pm
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Ok, so I have been really lazy about writing here, but I thought this warranted posting. A few weeks ago, I got into a tangle with our neighbor's pit bull dog. Everyone came out okay, except for the pittie's ego.
So here's the story...
The Ballad of Dax and the Pit Bull
Mommy says I've got some 'tude,
And that sometimes I can be rude,
But what she doesn't understand
Is being a tortie, I MUST command!
This is true for everyone
No matter dog, cat, or human.
It happened one eve;
Mommy took her leave
Of the yard, and went inside.
The neighbors who live on either side
Noticed she left her camera out,
And because they're nice, not thievin' louts
They wanted to give it back,
So the boy, with a knuckled CRACK!
Knocked on the door for Mom,
Who was surprised she'd forgotten
Her prized electronic possession
(Taking pictures is something of an obsession
Especially of us cats and Rosaleen).
So she was thanking the boy when
I scooted out under her feet
And Lo! Who did I meet?
But the neighbors' brown-and-white Pittie
(Who lives in a home with kids and kitty).
He sniffed me--he touched my nose!
It was like someone has turned a water hose
On me and got me soaked--I was MAD!
I hissed, growled, spit, and puffed up--egad!
I was angry, I swatted him upon his snoot
He was shocked, but his feelings were moot
To me--he had trespassed!
I slapped again and again lightening-fast--
And he RAN!
He did not turn back again
Until we were across the yard
And I had snipped and smacked his heels quite hard!
He remembered, "I'm 7 times her size!"
And growled to say, "It would be wise
For you to stop you attack!"
But I didn't care--I'm a cat
And I listen to only me!
The neighbor was able to seize
The dog's collar, and the pittie turned
To look at him instead of a kitty spurned--
Smart dog, he knew who to listen to--
And Mommy whisked me away with a "shoo!"
Back into our home.
Saying, "THIS is why you don't roam!"
Now I'm legend in our 'hood
I got "street cred," it's understood
You do not mess with me,
'Cause I'm One Bad Tortie!
(c) MDM and Dax 2008
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