Diary Pick Ob Da Day!

Meows! Woo-hoo! I bees one ob da Catster Diary Picks Ob Da Day!

Tank mews, tank mews! It is a great honor!

Purrs,
Isis - writer-kitty goddess

Attack of da Killer Bag!

Oh my, oh my. I haf been so afeered dat it has tooken me a lonk time to write dis here diary entry. It happened on Satfurday, this past one. Oh, shivers... da horror! Da terror! Da attack of da killer plastik bag!

Dere I was, minding mine own buzieness. Lookin into stuffs, just as usual. I came upon an infuresting sight - a bag, just sittin dere all empty & open. So, I decides to check it owt.

In I goes, in one side & owt da ofur.... but wait! What's dis? Da bag is followin mees! I walk fastur - still followin! Den I run, jump to da winder - bag is comin tew! Run into meowmie's bedroom - jump on her bed (wakin hers up), BANG! On da kitty condo, intew herz winder, bag still dere!

Oh no's! I run unfur herz bed to hide, bag comes tew. (So does Clarisse.) Pawpaw comes laffin in frum da catputer - splains to meowmie what happning, since she's goin, "what? what?", lookin all stoopid.

Den Pawpaw tries to get me owta frum unfur da bed, I goes runnin bys meowmie (who owta da bed now), wif Clarisse close behint - but no bag. My wonderfur sisfur has helped to defeat da killer bag & we haf left it unfur da bed to catinplate its failed attack.

Whew! Dat was close! Den, I went intew da front room to hide & shiver a while. But tewday, I is back to my snoopy ways. Meowmie says I nefur learn. But it's my way - I must know efurryting dat goes on in dis here purrlace.

Purrs,
Isis, spy-cat extreme

I Is Hoomiliated

I got laffed at last night. Me - laffed at! How dare they!

I was just tryin to get to da winder to see owt side when Paw-Paw opened da blinds. So I jumped up on da white can where da put dem bottles to take back to da store - jus like always.

But sumfing went wrong! Da top was gone! And BANG - I fall-ed in! Stoopid hoomins furgot to put da lid back on when dey took-ed da bottles. Here I is, down in da bottom, tryin to figfur out what happened to mees. My sisfur Clarisse is staring at me from da winder & Paw-Paw & meowmie is laffin really lowd.

I pop mine head up & looks around, den - JUMP! - I'm owta dere! Meowmie tries to come pet me, but I's no in da mood. Stoopid hoomins - STOP LAFFIN!

Efun staring at da wall dontz get my messuj across. I's soo embarrass-ed da I cantz efun wash my fur.

Oh, da hoomiliation! Time fur a nap. I will plot my revenge for dis indignity.

Meowmie is So Lazy

I finally got her to put anofur entry in my diary & picfurs on my page. My main picfur now clears shows my purrsonality. I always gots my eye on efurrything. Nothing escapes me. Mu-hah-hah!

Also some of the new picfurs show how bootimus I have become. Da old picfurs were me as a liddle kit, no way near what I looks like now. I am gorgeous, am I not? But I still dontz like to be held.

I like to ask to be picked up, but then it's "No, No! Don't Pick me UP! LET ME DOWN!!!"

I haf to keep da hoomins guessing, do I not? And I'm furry, furry good at that. I even make them guess where to walk next. In & out of their feet I go, or flop down in front of them, or just stop to consider the state of the werld, just as the walk up to me. It is SO fun to see them try not to trip over my gorgeousness.

MOL! Mu-hah-hah - I am soooo devious!

Time to go back to sleep & dream of other ways to keep my hoomins in line.

Sneakiness Pays

And I am a furry sneaky kitty. And I will prove it with the new special team on a secret mission. I am the Information Gatherer - a spy kitty. That's the best thing I do - I watch & spy & learn all the secrets. I can sneak into places that many other kitties can't go. I know more about hoomins, because I always sit & watch. I have a photographic memory & I remember things a long time. My big round eyes can see much.

I can't wait to get started. I've already begun the training camp exercises to get ready fur this furry challenging mission. The sprint-run I can do almost as good as Desiree. In fact, we have been practicing together - chasing each other around & around.

But I am champeen of da Flop-down. No kitty does it better than me. Because once I flop, no hoomin can move me. I won't budge even if they step over me. Well, sometimes I do - but only after their foot is already over top of me. That way, when I move, it causes the hoomin to trip, trying not to step on me. What grand fun to see them try not to fall down! Moo-hah-hah! I'm an evil kitty, that's why my operations name is Brat Kat!

Evil-eye purrs,
Brat Kat

Respeck

Humpf - Dat stinky boy cat Dusk thinks I should respeck him just cuz he's my uncle. My kitty momma was his real sisfur.

Well, I say dat is wrong. Respeck should be earned, not something he is entitled to just becuz he's a relative & he's older den me.

I will keep bopping him when he deserves it - which is alla time. Sometimes I will growl & hiss too.

After all, that's what tortitude with extra catitude is all about.

Da Goddess Isis

I'm Gonna Hiss

Dat stinky boy cat won't get da message. He keeps looking at me. I hiss, he keeps looking. I bop, he bops back. I run, he chases me & stands in da doorway so I can't get out. He's mean. Meowmie says I'm being mean. He's just looking.

Meowmie doesn't unfurstand. Looking is being mean. I don't like being looked at. Especially not by him.

Hissssssss... I will make him stop - BOP!! BOP, BOP, BOP!!! Hisssssssssss........

Hey! Meowmie! Stop - I don't like to get wet!

I was gonna go hide in da hoomin litterbox room on my bench. But stinky boy was on it instead.

Guess I'll go hide unfur da bed...

Hello my Worshipers

*waving paw from the kitty condo*

I felt it was time for me to write down my divine words of wisdom for all you commoners - hoomin & kitty alike.

Some rules when interacting with me:

1. Never, under any circumstances, shall you touch me without prior permission. Permission cannot be more than 1 second old.

2. Do not call me - I shall call you. You, of course, must respond immediately.

3. Do not pick me up - even if I ask. It's a test. You will fail it.

4. If I decide to sleep with you - deal with it. I don't like to be moved. If you try it, I get angry. You won't like me when I'm angry.

5. Do not decide you'd like me to sleep with you. I make the decisions around here.

6. Don't let that orange monster boy cat look at me. If I tell you he's looking at me by growling & hissing, you better come running. Fur is gonna fly & it's not going to be mine.

7. Hairballs are part of life. When I start acking, you better start running. Same goes for my "I'm gonna be sick" noise. You know the one.

That's it for now. I'll think of more later...