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Life according to Lammer

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I was right and Fancy was wrong

November 25th 2012 7:54 pm
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Fancy doesn't want me writing about this. She sits on the keyboard when the person is out so I can't keep the diary. She is in the litterbox now so I have to write this before she gets back. The person did get a dog. I don't like him because he's a dog. He is just a little bigger than me but he lets me eat his food and he doesn't bark. He doesn't chase me either, not that I give him a chance. When the person goes out she usually takes him with her, so that's good.
Oh, and Foxy died. The person gave away the ferret cages and all their stuff right away because if she didn't she would just go and fill them up with ferrets again. And none of us need that, especially now that there is a dog in the house.
Here comes Fancy. The cat that was wrong. LOL.


Something bad is going to happen

July 20th 2012 12:18 pm
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The person is up to something. There is a crate in the living room with a bed in it. Fancy thinks it is for her but she sleeps on top of it and I go inside. There is also a bag of food with a picture of a dog on it. Fancy said that obviously the person bought it by mistake and is going to take it back and bring back the bag that has the cat on it. The bag has been here for a while, though, and the person doesn't seem to be in any hurry to get rid of it. On another day she went into a closet and pulled out a bunch of leashes, but Fancy said that most of them were for ferrets and she is probably going to give them away. I know that one was way too big for a ferret, but Fancy said that the person was going to put it into her car, because she uses it when she is driving around and sees a lost dog and needs to take it back to where it lives. But the leashes are all on the floor not in the car.
I am afraid that the person is getting a dog again. She wouldn't do that, would she? She always said that her greyhound was the best dog ever and he spoiled her for other dogs. I hope hope hope that Fancy is right, and not just in denial.


Cats 2, Ferret 1

November 19th 2011 3:29 pm
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Maggie died and that was sad for the person for a while, Now it's just Foxy the devil ferret against Fancy and me. It should be better for us but it isn't because Foxy still chases us even though she has cancer and her fur keeps falling out. Foxy is worse than Maggie and Ben and Jerry put together. The person says that she isn't getting any more ferrets because it's too hard on her when they die, but we've heard that before. I don't know what Fancy will do if she decided to get another cat!


I found the ferret!

June 1st 2010 8:07 pm
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So today Maggie the deaf ferret was walking around loose. Ferrets are always trouble when they are out of their cage,so I kept both of my eyes on Maggie, especially when she started sniffing around my food bowl. The person got distracted; she was talking on her cell phone or looking out the window, and then she said where's Maggie? Since Maggie can't hear, she doesn't come when the person calls her, or shakes the treat jar. That's a problem, and all the person can do is look everywhere until she finds her. Of course Fancy and I saw Maggie go upstairs, but we weren't going to say anything. "Find the ferret, girls," the person said. So we pretended like we were predators doing something really really hard. We sniffed under the furniture and looked behind doors like we were tracking and walked around in circles. I led the person upstairs into the bathroom where Maggie always goes,and pointed at her. "Smart Lammer!" the person said. "I knew you'd find the ferret."


I got the bed to myself

November 29th 2008 12:58 pm
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I sleep on the person's right side and Fancy sleeps on her left and we don't let her move until it's morning and we are ready for breakfast. Anyway I was downstairs with her and she said let's go it's bedtime, and started shutting doors and turning lights off. When we were upstairs she called Fancy a few times but Fancy didn't come. Fine, be like that, she said. I got the whole bed to myself except for the part that the person was sleeping on. The next morning she woke up and said that's weird--Fancy must have spent the night under the bed. Then she looked and Fancy wasn't there. She went downstairs and found Fancy shut in the bathroom. I knew that she was there all the time, and if the person had asked me, I would have told her. Or maybe not.


I hate ferret house rules

May 3rd 2008 7:05 pm
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The ferrets have the best toys and the best treats and the best food. I can even go into the ferret cage to sleep and they don't care. The only thing that I don't like are the "ferret house rules." That means that when the ferrets' cage is open and they are running around in their room, they can do whatever they want to me. Ben can jump on my back and Jerry can chase me and Maggie can sniff my ears and I can't smack them. All I can do is jump up on something high where they can't get me, and stay there until they get tired or find something else to do. Then I can jump over the baby gate and escape. The person says that if I don't like the ferret house rules I should keep my butt out of the ferrets' room, but where's the fun in that?


Back to where I once belonged

March 3rd 2008 6:46 pm
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I'm in the Kitty Bed and Breakfast again; this was the place that saved me when I was a kitten. It's just Fancy and me now since Rosa's gone. Fancy was furious when she got here because she hates the car and because there was a dog in here. It was what our person calls an "insect dog" because it isn't even as big as a self-respecting cat like me. Anyway, Fancy hissed at the dog and has been in an evil mood all week, except when she's in the room with the big window. She thinks that she's the boss of that room even though it was mine first.
I hope that the person comes back soon. I like it here but I want to be back in my own house where I can get away from Fancy and play with the ferrets again.


Rosa's gone

October 30th 2007 5:42 pm
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Rosa went to the vet today and didn't come back. Her dishes are all washed and all of the stuff that she pooped and peed on has been thrown away. We all knew that she was sick sick sick but it's strange not to have her here anymore. The person went to the pet store and came back with all kinds of stuff including a feather toy just like the one I wrecked. The person had said that she wasn't going to waste any more money on toys for me if I was just going to tear them up so she must be feeling very sad about Rosa. Fancy told me that I should try to be good for the next few days, but that's going to be hard. Maybe I can just try not to be bad.


My birthday presents

July 1st 2007 10:52 am
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I got my favorite kind of toy. It is a long stick with feathers on a string at the end. The person brought it home yesterday. She got some extra feathery things because she said "I know you're going to tear this up the minute my back's turned."
(She also got me a bed, but the ferrets like it so I'll let them use it for now. ) I don't like it when the person tells me what I'm going to do, so when she put the toy away where she thought I couldn't get it, I got it and chewed up the string, not the feathery part like I usually do. Then the person called me a stinker and said that no way was she getting me another one next year. She'll forget, though.


I got mail!

June 1st 2007 10:53 am
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The pet store sent me a birthday card and a coupon. I just hope that the person doesn't use it to buy ferret treats or something that I'll have to share with Fancy and Rosa.
She could use it to buy treats that are just for me, or a toy like the one that I took from Maggie and tore up.
I might have to go to the pet store with her to make sure that she gets something that I want. But do I really want to go for a ride in the car?

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