August 21st 2013 2:52 pm
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I have thought so much about you and Alfie today.
You especially Buzz have been playing on my mind. I cannot help thinking that you are out there somewhere, lost. I know it's because there was no body, but I do have your collar that the man from the railway found on the line. I suppose you could have just lost your collar and wandered off somewhere, and you could now be safe, living with another family.
I know it's an irrational thought, Buzz, but it nags at me sometimes and when it does it really niggles into my brain. I can't help it something about what happened just doesn't feel right and I can't put my finger on why that is. Whatever the reason Buzz, I can't make it go away........
July 17th 2013 3:16 pm
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I miss you so. Can you really have been gone this long. Not a day goes by when I don't think of you and little Alfie.
We have two new editions to the family Buzz. Little Flossie who has Cerebeller Hypoplasia and Dr Freddie. They are delightful little kittens, Buzz and I know that both you and Little Alfie had a hand in finding them.
I have created their profile pages, so that they can join our family on Catster.
Goodnight my beautiful Angel.
June 9th 2013 2:41 pm
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I am so sorry I haven't written much in Buzz's diary. I think I have been in some sort of shock and I just couldn't bring myself to think too much, let alone write. I've been numb. It has been the saddest time. I just couldn't bring myself to write anything.
I am so grateful for all the help and support I have received from the Catster community again. I just don't know what I would have done without you all. Thank you so much.
Oh how we miss Buzz. Boo too misses Buzz so much and she wanders round the garden like a little lost soul sometimes. It is sad to watch. She does love to play and she seems to enjoy the extra time we have given her. She has got used to not being given so much freedom and doesn't go out of the house so much now.
I just had to visit Gumtree to look at the kittens. What gets into me. Why I did it I just don't know, but there they were two tiny precious ginger babies born on the 11th May. I looked at that picture and my mind told me that one was Buzz and one was Alfie. There are only 2 kittens in the litter and they are both ginger. God help me but I had to go and visit them. They were so tiny how could I not fall in love. So there you have it 2 new tiny babies are being given a home. I must be mad. Dave says I am just heading for more heartache and that I will never learn. I will put a picture of them on Buzz's page for you to see. I thought they were both boys but it turns out that one is a little ginger girly. We are going to call them Freddie and Flossie. I expect Flossie will be called Flo for short. They will come home early in July. I am apprehensive, scared and nervous.
Buzz's life was cut short unexpectedly and I hope my beautiful furbaby is having as much fun at the Bridge as he did when he was here with us. As with little Alfie if I could have that time all over again I would even if I knew what was going to happen.
My sweet, beautiful babies we miss you both so much.
May 20th 2013 2:13 pm
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This is the first time I've felt that I could write. The pain of the last fortnight has been unbearable. Both Dad and I have spent hours upon hours crying.
The day you disappeared I knew within about 2 hours that you'd gone. It was very strange I just had this horrid feeling and I couldn't shake it off. Dad was annoyed with me because he said it would be impossible to know, but I knew, Buzz, I just knew. It was a dark feeling filled with panic and fear. It stayed with me.
That first week we walked for miles and miles, calling and calling you looking in every small space we could find. All the neighbours checked their garages and sheds for us and looked for you. They kept a very close eye. I posted 500 leaflets in letter boxes. The girls who live next door deliver the local paper, very kindly put a poster of you in each paper and delivered them. I put posters up in shops, diy stores and anywhere I thought your face would get noticed. It generated one sighting and then it wasn't you. The agony of not knowing where you were was unbearable. I knew you'd already died. As I posted every leaflet and with every call of your name, deep down inside I knew it was pointless, but I couldn't stop not while there was even he smallest chance of finding you again.
I listened to the scratch pole being scratched and no kitty being there and I heard the catflap unlock but no cat was there. I think it was you Buzz telling me that you'd gone.
The day I got the telephone call from the man at the rail company telling me that they'd found your collar. At first I thought that was great because that meant you'd been there so in a way it was a sighting but then it dawned on me what he was telling me. You'd been killed on the railway line.
I never thought I would have to live through the pain of losing another beautiful furbaby in such tragic circumstances. Losing little Alfie to FIP was horrendous. You and Boo filled our lives with fun and laughter and healed our hearts when he left us. Now Buzz we must find a way through the pain and the sadness. I don't want tears when I think of you. I want to remember the fun you brought us, the laughter, the smiles and the love and affection you gave us. I want to remember you as you were.
We love you Buzz. It will never fade. We hope and pray that you are at rainbow bridge having fun with Little Alfie.
I believe that when I die I will be surrounded by all my beloved furs from the past, the present and maybe the future. Until that day comes my beautiful baby have fun with Alfie and watch over you sister Boo.
I miss you baby. Sleep tight.
May 15th 2013 1:46 pm
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How I miss you. I cannot bear what happened to you and I can't help feeling I should have protected you more.
I can't write anymore just yet it is just too painful.
I love you baby.
Wherever you are please forgive me.
May 13th 2013 4:23 am
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I have had the news I was dreading. Buzz was killed on the railway line by a train. The line isn't very near to us so I am assuming he lost his bearings and wandered there by mistake.
He was my beautiful furbaby and I adored him.
Thank you all so much for your kind support.
I ama too griefstriken at the moment to write any more, but I just wanted to let those of you know who have sent me kind messages the news.
March 14th 2012 1:48 pm
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Well I finally made it to Milton Keynes. My new human came to collect me from my first home. She took me and my sister Boo in a big carrier and said goodbye to everyone. Charlotte had a few tears, but was really pleased to see me and Boo going to our new furever home.
Eighty miles we travelled, sometimes we slept and sometimes we started crawling up the side of the carrier so that Mum would sing to us. She couldn't talk to us because we wanted her to sing so we just cried until she did. She sang Somewhere Over the Rainbow in a very high pitched squeaky voice. She told our Dad that it was the only song that quietened us down and made us go to sleep. She said she sounded like a cats chorus and that's why we must have liked it. She said she had a sore throat but she would do anything to make our journey comfortable and stress free.
Mum and Dad made us feel right at home, feeding us lovely Felix kitten food and cat biscuits. Ooh and we got a lovely igloo to sleep in. Lifes good.
After a couple of days we met Dave and Ollie. They are big scary cats, but Dave is already starting to like us. When we walk past him he tries to clean our heads and he lets Boo play with his tail. Mum says Ollie is disgusted but he has been sniffing me, so maybe he is gonna come round after all.
Mum asked Milo to be my catfather. He is a proud as can be. He is such a lovely kitty and Mum says he will be a good influence on me. I am hoping I grow up to look just like him because he is really handsome.
It is almost my bedtime and I am getting a bit tired from all this composing.