March 9th 2015 3:24 pm
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It's 3 whole years since the day I came to collect you and Boo and bring you both to your furever home. It's a day I shall never forget. I was so happy. I got to Charlotte's house to collect you half an hour early and had to sit outside in the car and wait because I really didn't want to wake up the family. It was a Friday.
I drove up the M1 with you and your sister Boo in the shiny new basket I'd bought you. You were both crying so I sang songs to you, but strangely the only one you would go quite for Somewhere over the Rainbow. Now I'm no Judy Garland or Eva Cassidy so I think my catawalling must have calmed you down. I had a sore throat for quite a while.
I never told human Dave that you were coming and when he came home at lunchtime. I said to you and Boo "Oh now we're in trouble". He just looked at you both and said "Did you have to get two". I explained that although there were 5 of you in the litter, you and Boo just went everywhere together. If you walked somewhere she would follow and if she went somewhere you would follow her. You were both so delightful.
Your sister Boo has grown into the most beautiful, elegant lady and I am sure she still misses you sometimes too.
I'm not gonna be sad today Buzz. It was such a happy day.
Miss you little man.
January 28th 2015 1:51 pm
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A thousand times I've thought of you,
A thousand times I've cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly,
In death, I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
No other one can fill.
It broke my heart to lose you,
But you did not go alone.
For part of me went with you
The day God took you home.
Happy Birthday Buzzy Wuzz!
May 6th 2014 2:11 pm
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I can't believe it's a year since I last saw you. Where does time go? It's so precious!
I have been thinking about you so much over this past weekend. How I miss you. You brought so much joy and happiness to us. I remember collecting you and Boo and bringing you home to your forever home. It was wonderful. You both kept me up until about 3am every night because you would liven up and start scampering around and playing and I never tired of watching you both play. You healed my heart after Little Alfie went to the Bridge. You and Boo were so delightful I couldn't fail to fall in love with you both. You were such tiny bundles of fluff. So mischievous.
You had no fear. You just waded into everything while your sister Boo was always more cautious, not quite trusting until she was sure.
I can still picture you flying in through the catflap that Monday night but before I got the chance to pet you, you just squeaked excitedly and were gone in a flash back through. Never to be seen again. I've played it over and over and over in my head. Each time hoping for a different ending and each time it remains the same. I so wish if done something different that night. Maybe I should have looked to see what you were so excited by but I didn't. You were always excited by something. It was like you were having a big adventure.
The tears are flowing as I write. So much sadness it's just not right.
We miss you with all our hearts. If I could change it I would. I can't but I so wish I could.
Wherever you are my heart is with you.
February 13th 2014 4:46 am
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Oh My God. Samoa posted in her diary that you are Angel Dreamboat #61. This is such good news amongst all the sadness surrounding Catster. I only realised last night and was so chuffed.
I was looking at your photos last night and I started to cry again it makes me so sad when I think of what happened to you. If only I had called you back in that night when you slipped through the catflap. I have played it over and over in my head so many times but it always ends the same - you never come back. How I miss you.
Then we got the news that the Catster Community isn't closing like we thought. None of us know yet what the Catster Community will be like, if it will be the same or if there will be major changes, but it's not closing and that can only mean good news. I just can't bear the thought of yours and Little Alfie's profile pages not being there anymore. My friend Laura saved them for me on Wayback Machine and I am very grateful as I was panicking that I wouldn't be able to save them. There is all the same something very special about them being viewed on Catster. It's a magical place is Catster, a wonderful, extraordinarily beautiful, magical place.
Buzz I so miss you and Alfie. You are both in my heart with all our other furs past and present forever.
January 28th 2014 11:08 pm
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Happy Birthday baby. I wish you were still here with us. I miss you so much.
Boo has been enjoying her birthday but I know that she would have enjoyed it more if you were here too.
I think about you all the time and I remember the last time I saw you. You had just bounced through the catflap came running up to is, squeaked with excitement turned and went out again, I was about to call you in but decided to let you enjoy yourself. I've played that over and over in my head so many times. If only I had called you. If only....
Wherever you are Buzz. Fly free and know that you were truly loved.
We miss you.
August 21st 2013 2:52 pm
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I have thought so much about you and Alfie today.
You especially Buzz have been playing on my mind. I cannot help thinking that you are out there somewhere, lost. I know it's because there was no body, but I do have your collar that the man from the railway found on the line. I suppose you could have just lost your collar and wandered off somewhere, and you could now be safe, living with another family.
I know it's an irrational thought, Buzz, but it nags at me sometimes and when it does it really niggles into my brain. I can't help it something about what happened just doesn't feel right and I can't put my finger on why that is. Whatever the reason Buzz, I can't make it go away........
July 17th 2013 3:16 pm
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I miss you so. Can you really have been gone this long. Not a day goes by when I don't think of you and little Alfie.
We have two new editions to the family Buzz. Little Flossie who has Cerebeller Hypoplasia and Dr Freddie. They are delightful little kittens, Buzz and I know that both you and Little Alfie had a hand in finding them.
I have created their profile pages, so that they can join our family on Catster.
Goodnight my beautiful Angel.
June 9th 2013 2:41 pm
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I am so sorry I haven't written much in Buzz's diary. I think I have been in some sort of shock and I just couldn't bring myself to think too much, let alone write. I've been numb. It has been the saddest time. I just couldn't bring myself to write anything.
I am so grateful for all the help and support I have received from the Catster community again. I just don't know what I would have done without you all. Thank you so much.
Oh how we miss Buzz. Boo too misses Buzz so much and she wanders round the garden like a little lost soul sometimes. It is sad to watch. She does love to play and she seems to enjoy the extra time we have given her. She has got used to not being given so much freedom and doesn't go out of the house so much now.
I just had to visit Gumtree to look at the kittens. What gets into me. Why I did it I just don't know, but there they were two tiny precious ginger babies born on the 11th May. I looked at that picture and my mind told me that one was Buzz and one was Alfie. There are only 2 kittens in the litter and they are both ginger. God help me but I had to go and visit them. They were so tiny how could I not fall in love. So there you have it 2 new tiny babies are being given a home. I must be mad. Dave says I am just heading for more heartache and that I will never learn. I will put a picture of them on Buzz's page for you to see. I thought they were both boys but it turns out that one is a little ginger girly. We are going to call them Freddie and Flossie. I expect Flossie will be called Flo for short. They will come home early in July. I am apprehensive, scared and nervous.
Buzz's life was cut short unexpectedly and I hope my beautiful furbaby is having as much fun at the Bridge as he did when he was here with us. As with little Alfie if I could have that time all over again I would even if I knew what was going to happen.
My sweet, beautiful babies we miss you both so much.
May 20th 2013 2:13 pm
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This is the first time I've felt that I could write. The pain of the last fortnight has been unbearable. Both Dad and I have spent hours upon hours crying.
The day you disappeared I knew within about 2 hours that you'd gone. It was very strange I just had this horrid feeling and I couldn't shake it off. Dad was annoyed with me because he said it would be impossible to know, but I knew, Buzz, I just knew. It was a dark feeling filled with panic and fear. It stayed with me.
That first week we walked for miles and miles, calling and calling you looking in every small space we could find. All the neighbours checked their garages and sheds for us and looked for you. They kept a very close eye. I posted 500 leaflets in letter boxes. The girls who live next door deliver the local paper, very kindly put a poster of you in each paper and delivered them. I put posters up in shops, diy stores and anywhere I thought your face would get noticed. It generated one sighting and then it wasn't you. The agony of not knowing where you were was unbearable. I knew you'd already died. As I posted every leaflet and with every call of your name, deep down inside I knew it was pointless, but I couldn't stop not while there was even he smallest chance of finding you again.
I listened to the scratch pole being scratched and no kitty being there and I heard the catflap unlock but no cat was there. I think it was you Buzz telling me that you'd gone.
The day I got the telephone call from the man at the rail company telling me that they'd found your collar. At first I thought that was great because that meant you'd been there so in a way it was a sighting but then it dawned on me what he was telling me. You'd been killed on the railway line.
I never thought I would have to live through the pain of losing another beautiful furbaby in such tragic circumstances. Losing little Alfie to FIP was horrendous. You and Boo filled our lives with fun and laughter and healed our hearts when he left us. Now Buzz we must find a way through the pain and the sadness. I don't want tears when I think of you. I want to remember the fun you brought us, the laughter, the smiles and the love and affection you gave us. I want to remember you as you were.
We love you Buzz. It will never fade. We hope and pray that you are at rainbow bridge having fun with Little Alfie.
I believe that when I die I will be surrounded by all my beloved furs from the past, the present and maybe the future. Until that day comes my beautiful baby have fun with Alfie and watch over you sister Boo.
I miss you baby. Sleep tight.
May 15th 2013 1:46 pm
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How I miss you. I cannot bear what happened to you and I can't help feeling I should have protected you more.
I can't write anymore just yet it is just too painful.
I love you baby.
Wherever you are please forgive me.