Toby's Diary

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The Grape Escape

April 2nd 2013 10:39 pm
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Mum was boooorrrrriiinnngg last night. She was marking assignments so all she was doing was riffling paper and muttering, "Good. Very good.","You haven't really answered the question," and "Where is Part B? Please tell me you haven't missed Part B." (They had.)

A cat who is honoured with being a Diary Pick should really get all the attention in the home but all I got was the odd head rub and a promise she wouldn't be long.

But I am a resourceful boy and can find my own amusement at such times. I looked around at what else was on the table. Fruit bowl. Hm. What might be in there? Ah, grapes! My favourite fruit. I had fun picking one that wasn't attached to the rest and hoicking it out of the bowl. Then I chased it all around the table and mum laughed so I had her attention. Then it escaped off the table and I jumped down in hot pursuit.

More fun chasing it then on to other toys.

It wasn't until later I saw mum doing something interesting. She was poking around under the chairs and behind the curtain.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Looking for your grape," she replied.

"He's long gone," I told her.

"Grapes don't just go. Where is he?" she wanted to know.

"You have lots of other grapes. Eat one of them. That one's mine." I told her.

But mum said she really wanted to find my grape. She said otherwise time will do its thing and she'll be able to find it from a smell of rotting fruit and a buzz of fruit flies. That sounded like the more interesting option so I left her to it.

The story ends happily. She never did find the grape but she did find one of Josie's toy mice that she had lost. She is going to look again today in the light but he is very well hidden so this could be more fun for us to watch.

Thank you to everyone for your kind messages on me being a Diary Pick. I feel very special.


More fun with the jigsaw

April 1st 2013 10:37 pm
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Mum was doing more of her jigsaw yesterday. She was muttering about why on earth had she chosen one with so very many pieces.

Now I am a kindly cat and I could help so I started taking some away so she would have fewer. I even found, now she has more linked together, that by pulling on one I could get a whole string which was brilliant.

Mum wasn't as grateful as you would expect and we got into a game of whacky paw every time she saw me reach for one. Then Josie heard us arguing and came to see what was going on.

She decided to stop the argument completely by plonking herself down in the middle of the jigsaw so mum couldn't do it any more anyway.

Mum laughed at us and said we aren't the restful companions people fondly imagine.

I don't know what she meant. We had been peacefully sleeping some time and were awake and ready for action. Mum persuaded Josie to get up, folded the puzzle away and out came da Bird. Excellent.

Talking of birds I haven't exactly caught an outdoors one yet but I had a good few attempts yesterday. They do keep flying away which many would call cheating but mum calls a very good thing. She is a bit odd sometimes.


Spring is springing

March 31st 2013 11:34 pm
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It is still rather cold but Josie and I can both feel Spring in our veins - and we like it!!

We have been remembering some things we liked last Spring. Josie has started asking to have the bath room tap turned on for her to drink from. I've started tearing little bits of wallpaper off the wall. We're both talking more. (I always chat a fair amount to my mum but normally Josie can go weeks without a single meow.)

We're pretty sure we're going to catch a bird this year. There seem to be plenty out there and we have a plan which we have explained to the birds. It hasn't actually worked as yet but we're sure it will. It would help if Josie would come outside to do her part but she reckons it's too cold at the moment so she is more cheerleader from the window for now.

Mum's been doing spring cleaning which we like. She clears stuff off shelves and out of drawers and we jump in. We also like chasing the dusters, especially the feather one.

Best of all mum has yet another bank holiday so is home all day again today. Hoorah!!



March 29th 2013 12:28 am
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Mum had stuff with her when she came home from work last night. One was an odd looking tube with a plastic bunny on top.

"What's that?" I asked, giving it a good sniff. I could smell all sorts of things but nothing conclusive.

"It's my Easter tombola prize. There were chocolate eggs and Easter cookies but I won the prize that Josie will like the most. Bubbles."

She is right there. I don't trust bubbles at all. Mum blows on a stick and they just appear out of nothing and then they float about a bit and disappear. What sorcery is this?! Josie gets very excited when she sees bubbles. She chats to them as if they were birds and then sets about to despatch each and every one with a timely paw swipe.

So Josie and mum played bubble chasing and I watched from a safe distance.

Then I sniffed mum's other thing. "Is this one for me if that one's for Josie?"

"Sadly no," mum said, "that's my chocolate egg prize for coming second in the egg decorating competition".

"Did you do any work at work today at all?" - what with tombolas and decorating eggs it doesn't sound like there was much time. She looked a bit embarrassed. "Some".

Mum has promised to go out today and get some of my favourite treats as she and Josie both got a nice thing yesterday. Today is a happy day for all of us. The sun is shining, it's a little bit warmer - the snow is gone - and no office for mum today as it's a bank holiday so she'll be here to pander to our every whims all day. Hoorah!!

and Happy Easter to all my friends.


Fans of 5am!!

March 27th 2013 11:46 pm
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Will any cat like to join my Fans of 5am Club? My mum is not a fan. When I try and get her to wake up and properly appreciate it she mutters, "it's five o'clock in the morning. Leave me be" and she tries to hide her head.

Luckily for me she does have to breathe so I can always find a way to sneak a paw in and prod her again.

If she only woke up then we could have a whole hour of snuggles and playtime before she goes to work and I'm sure that would put her in a good mood all day.

It is still real cold here. The sun has been peeking out and making it look warm. I've been fooled a couple of times and gone outdoors but it's just an illusion and my paws get very cold and I have to come in.

Josie surprised us by going out yesterday. Then she barfed up a load of grass so it was a trip of medical necessity. Once she's done the grass thing she feels so good inside that she goes crazy. I would never leave a crazy cat to run up and down alone so I joined in and we got all fuzzy tailed in the thrill of it all. I told mum she should try it too but she just huddled on the sofa and tried to stay out of our way for fear of our manic claws getting her bare feet. People miss out on all the best games.


Josie's sticky claw

March 26th 2013 11:42 pm
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Josie was having a nice snooze draped on the back of the chair by the window. Well, you know how it is - the pleasant doze is best followed by the delightful stretch so stretch she did.

Only one claw got hooked on the curtain and she couldn't get it back again. She tried wiggling it side to side, pulling it down...nothing. To lift it up from its place she needed some leverage. Luckily she worked out how to do that. Hook the other paw just above it, that allowed her to pull the fabric tight and unhook claw number one.

Only she now had claw number two stuck only slightly higher. No worries - she knew exactly how to release it. Other claw in just above, pull tight, unhook claw. Ah - now the first claw was once more stuck. Happily she knew how to release that. Claw in just above..

Now I was keen to see just how high Josie would get before realising the fatal flaw in her strategy. Mum has a softer heart than me and went vand unhooked Josie so she could get on with enjoying her evening. She didn't care that she had just spoiled my entertainment.


The mighty hunter strikes again

March 25th 2013 11:40 pm
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We were having a very happy evening. Mum was telling me the wonderful news about my diary having been picked once again which is a great honour. Also she was reading out the lovely things that people had said about me in my latest picture. My mum tells me I am handsome but she sort of has to (it comes in a human's job spec when they take on a cat) so I felt very special to hear that from other cats.

Then mum noticed a dark prescence lurking in the back of my lair.

"What's that in your lair Toby?" she asked.

I glanced in. "Some fiendish prey that I caught on my latest hunting trip and brought back for later."

She went closer. "Mind out," I called, "I may have only stunned it. It could come to and strike out."

She reached her hand in and pulled it out.

"Where did you get my sock?" Then she looked at the laundry rack with clothes all hanging to dry and now an odd number of socks. "Oh I see."

"It took some subduing that one but I was fearless," I told her. "You don't know what happens when you aren't here to supervise."

Anyway mum decided to ignore my warnings and dice with danger and the sock is now back hanging with its mate on the rack. But it had better not try anything again. Mum was lucky I was here to capture it the
last time!


Mum abandoned us in the snow

March 24th 2013 11:47 pm
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OK - we weren't actually out there as such but it was really cold inside the flat and we had no mum all weekend to cuddle up with to keep warm.

Friday had started so well as mum didn't go to work and we were playing and being happy and she was tidying up and then suddenly - Big Bag. Noooooooo!

And off she went and after she had gone snow started falling outside. She didn't come back until last night. Even then she was rushing around. She took some chocolates to next door to thank them for feeding us although I would have thought the honour and chance to earn my undying gratitude would be enough.

Then she changed the sheets on her bed and I helped while Josie just darted round like a loony cat. Mum said that she always used to change the linen before she went away but she read that cats like to have the smell of their people on the bed when their people are away. She asked me if that was true.

If she really cared about my preferences on the matter she wouldn't go away in the first place so I refused to answer.

Anyway Josie and I have forgiven her. Josie slept for hours on her lap last night and we both took a turn snuggling with her at bedtime and that was good.

And she says she will only work four days this week as it will be Easter weekend so no work Friday. Hoorah!!


At last - my pictures

March 22nd 2013 12:49 am
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Happy news from Catster HQ and I am back in full Plus mode and mum can upload my pictures. They sent a lovely friendly message and I told mum to send a headrub back.

"Is that with or without dribble?"

"Definitely with as those are my happiest".

Mum said she didn't know why I was so bothered anyway as I never sharpen my claws on it anyway. Oh don't I? I could soon put her in the wrong so I jumped up into it and did some energetic claw action. That showed her.

She looked at me with mild bemusement. "I think you're meant to be sharpening them on the string not the fluffy part" she commented but she doesn't have proper claws so I don't think her opinion counts.

Yesterday evening got even better. One of mum's friends sends us Dreamies every time she sees them on sale and yesterday was just such a day. Two more bags of deliciousness. Then we did lots of good playing - some with our new toy, some with Da Bird.

I was so happy by bed time that I had to keep waking my mum up to purr for her. Funny how something so lovely can make her so grumpy. When she tried to hide her head under the duvet I just purred harder and tried to pull her out with a well aimed claw and she squealed with the excitement of it all.

I love my life!


My sheep has an added feature

March 20th 2013 11:46 pm
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Mum said she was very tired last night after work so she and Josie settled down for a snoozle on the sofa. I let them sleep awhile but then I wanted to play with my sheep. I tapped him and this is where the clever part comes in. He is fitted with a bell. When I tapped him the bell tinkled.

Mum woke up. Tinkle, tinkle. Mum knew I wanted to play and turfed Josie off her legs and game on! I have a sheep fitted with a mum summoning device. How cool is that! (And don't be sad for Josie. She joined in and we had a top evening.)

But mum reckoned she was still a little tired and what she felt like doing was her jigsaw. Now we first saw this before Christmas - a picture cut into 1000 pieces that she was trying to fix. Despite my help she didn't get much done that first time.

I would like to report that she carried on working diligently and got it finished but the reality is she folded it in its portapuzzle and that's the last we saw of it until yesterday evening.

She carried it out and unfolded the portapuzzle; she straightened out the pieces and picked off the kitty litter stones.

"OK cats," she said, "you have beaten me this time. It's been folded up, there's foam sheets, I haven't opened it once. How did you get kitty litter in it?"

A cat's ability to spread litter in unlikely and inaccessible places is one of our many amazing gifts and there was no way we were going to tell her how we do it. Cats are simply geniuses and that's all she needs to know.

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