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Toby's Diary

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Mum made jam

August 13th 2014 10:51 pm
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Yesterday evening we were all out in the garden. We love being in the garden with my mum. We were helping her pick blackberries.

I remembered mum and I did that once before. "This is how I found out just how awesome I am," I recalled.

Mum looked at me.

"Berries are like cats. The black ones are sweet and lovely and you want them and red ones are sour and you leave them," I explained. Sure enough my mum had a bowl of the most luscious, and very much black, berries in her hand.

"When you see what I'm going to do to them you may not be so sure," replied my mum.

But I never did find out as mum always says cats and jam making don't mix. Sure enough today no berries but four shining jars of jam.

"Sauce or sliceable?" I enquired politely. Mum picked up one of the jars and tilted it. "Sauce," she answered, as the contents slid to one side.

When mum makes jam she mutters a lot about setting point, is it here now? Or now? Did she miss it?

I'm not even sure it exists as I don't think she's ever found it. She can either pour her jam like sauce or it has to be hacked out of the jar with a knife and leaves big holes in the bread. On balance sauce is probably better. Her continued failure doesn't dampen her enthusiasm which is peculier but just one of the many quirks we've learnt to live with.

talking of quirks - it's just struck me - She was so pleased with herself for bringing fruit in from the garden but when I bring a bird in, which is much harder, there's never any offer to cook it into something tasty for me and Josie to eat. So unfair!


Rebel Cat Josie

August 12th 2014 10:37 pm
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Mum came home yesterday, bent down and picked up a cushion off the floor when a thought struck her. She looked at Josie, "Why do I keep picking this cushion up off the floor?"

Josie shrugged. "Beats me, you should leave it where I push it."

"I want the cushion on the chair," said my mum, firmly.

"And I don't," said Josie, equally firmly. "It's in my way."

"Couldn't you sit on it?" asked my mum, "and leave it be."

Josie just sighed at this foolish suggestion. There's nothing wrong with the cushion as such. Josie's just taken against it.

"And while we're talking, " continued my mum, "What were you doing in the wardrobe last night?"

josie's eyes lit up at the memory. "Adventuring."

"Could you not adventure when I'm trying to sleep? All the rustles and creaks are hard to sleep through."

Josie buried her nose into her paws and went back to sleep. All that adventuring had worn her out.

"What happened? You used to be so good," said my mum. Mum looked at me and I put on my angelic face. I have actually been pretty good lately - barring my night-time excursion, a minor wall-paper related incident and the paw in mum's face while she was eating breakfast. I have no idea where Josie learnt to be mischevious from.


I got out at night. Hoorah!

August 11th 2014 10:39 pm
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Our door has a lock and meanie mum gives it a twist at night and we are all in for the night. She's pretty good at remembering but there's never any harm in giving the door a sly push to see what happens and last night - oh joy! oh Bliss! The thing opened.

I needed no further invitation. Out I slipped to enjoy the adventures and mysteries of the night. I roamed. I did wild cat things. It was awesome!

Until it started to rain. Hometime for me so I ran to the door but it would not budge. What have happened? I pawed at it, increasingly frantically. I was getting wet and suddenly night time adventures didn't seem so fun.

You can imagine my relief when I saw my mum appear in the kitchen - the sound of my paws had woken her.

"Toby?" she asked, for it was dark and when she had gone to sleep I was safely curled up on my chair, where I wished I was now.

She bent down to the door and twisted the lock again. I was in. Thank goodness - never so happy.

"How did you get out? And why couldn't you get in?" she asked.

Josie had joined us by now and our minds were on more important things. "Seeing as you're up and our bowls are empty..." I asked. I realised it wasn't strictly breakfast time but there's never any harm in asking and a nice snack would certainly help me overcome my ordeal

Mum can't decide if I have worked out a way to beat the system and open the door when locked or if she accidentally locked it twice, one twist for locked, two twists for out only.

She muttered something about a special eye on me. I am not to roam at night.


What happened to summer?

August 10th 2014 10:39 pm
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Saturday - normal happy sunny day. I did hunting and snoozing in a sun beam and all was as it should be.

Thde only bad bit was when my mum heard that little Jasper from next door was out and about in their garden. She pulled a chair over and was standing on it looking over the fence, talking to Paul and Victoria and watching Jasper. We know that because she kept saying "Oh - isn't he cute" and "see him jump". At one point Victoria brought him over so mum could stroke him which went down well.


Josie and I wandered round beneath her chair in vain - we're cute and we jump and we like to be stroked (sometimes.) Just because he's small they think he's so amazing.

But on Sunday - whoosh! No-one was playing in their garden. It was like someone turned the tap in the rain clouds and down it came and the wind blew through the flat and made the curtains billow and things rustle and I'll be honest, Josie and I didn't like it, not one little bit. I kept telling my mum to make it stop - bring me back my summer.

Apparently it was the tail end of ex-hurricane Bertha. I never want to see a hurricane if this is what they are like.


Josie's quick thinking

August 7th 2014 10:43 pm
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Mum was watching TV and she chose a programme about dogs. Yes, I know!! Stoopy dogs!! And when the dogs do tricks and bravely dive into water and rescue people and wag their tails at their chance to help humanity mum tends to ask, "And what do you two do?"

Josie realised the danger so she quickly jumped up in front of the screen so mum could admire Josie's fur instead. After all, when you look this good you don't really have to 'do' anything.

Situation saved!!


CatsterPlus is back for me

August 6th 2014 10:37 pm
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For ages it wasn't working but in a sign that things are getting fixed on Catster we are back.

"That's brilliant," I said to my mum, "You can upload all my latest photos."

There was one of those awkward silences.

"The picture is of me looking at my Christmas present. Surely we have some since."

More silence.

"Well - you can take some now." Especially as I finally got my brush and am looking particularly handsome.

She hasn't yet but I live in hope!


My neglectful mum

August 5th 2014 10:43 pm
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"What do you mean you didn't do my blog yesterday?" I swished my tail to let her know I was serious.

"You just went straight out and I didn't know what you wanted to say," she said.

And another thing - she had stroked me and watched the haze of fur, softly drifting off my back onto the floor in a little cloud. "You need a brush, young man," she had said.

I do like a brush so later I went up to her, "Ready for my brush."

"But I'm trying to sleep." All I ever hear are excuses.

Apparently she had been on standby all evening, brush poised, but evening is hunting time and she knows that. I was out until the last possible minute, coming in when it was bedtime and now here I was, all ready for a thorough brush, and she wanted to sleep.

Anyway it's morning again so I am off out, all ungroomed. Mum says if I would just stay inside for five minutes she would have things to blog about and would brush me - but those birdies won't chase themselves, you know.


The Mockturtle

August 3rd 2014 10:39 pm
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Mum was bad at the weekend and kept going out. She shouldn't do that. She should be here to open doors and kitty food and give us head rubs.

On Saturday she was having lunch with her friend Rebecca. Rebecca is also lucky enough to live with a black cat which is called The Mockturtle.

Rebecca was telling my mum that The Mockturtle will walk in a room, look all round and then sigh heavily and mutter to himself about how unsatisfactory it all is.

"Rebecca needs to fix it then so it is right," I said. Do I have to explain everything?!

Mum pointed out that whilst many cats don't get a choice in where they live The Mockturtle had just walked through the cat flap one day and never left (they did check for a chip and missing cat posters but never found anyone looking for him and he had clearly been homeless for some time) so it hardly behoved him to complain.

"Maybe he took pity on her as she needed a cat," that would be a kindly action on his part.

"She already had two - and another one's arrived since so they have sufficient cats," said my mum.

"I expect she needed a black one, and you already have one" I don't think I want any more cats.

But mum reassured me that's why we have a special door so cats can't just move in. That is a relief. If there's any complaining to do round here I'll do it!


A Cool Mat

July 31st 2014 10:41 pm
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I walked in the flat yesterday and nearly ooops.... a blue thing.

"Excuse me" I said politely, "I nearly stepped on your..." I sniffed it, "what is it?"

"That's actually for you," said my mum. "It's a cool mat. I've been worried about you and Josie in the heat but if you get too hot you can lie on it and it will cool you down."

Josie looked bewildered. "What is this thing you call 'too hot'?" she asked.

When my mum is tossing and turning and has kicked off everything and can't sleep Josie assumes that what mum needs is a warm furry body to nestle up to. Josie can never be too hot.

"I've seen Toby stretched out on the kitchen floor tiles to cool down," said my mum and it is true. I do do that. "It works like that only it isn't tiles. It's magic cool filling."

As you can imagine we're steering well clear of it.


Black Cats are the Best!!

July 30th 2014 10:39 pm
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Mum was reading the paper yesterday when a photo caught my eye - a handsome black cat.

"He's a splendid fellow," I commented. "Why is he in the newspaper? Something very brave and heroic no doubt."

Mum scanned the story. "It's saying that people don't want black cats because they don't photograph so well for web pages."

I was flabbergasted. Josie sniggered and licked one of her ginger patches.

"I think you photograph beautifully," said my mum hastily.

"You KNOW I photograph beautifully," I corrected her. "And, after all, I was pick of the litter for you."

There was an awkward silence.

"Actually you were the last one left," she finally said.

My mum is so silly. I was pick of the litter by Henry of all the kittens that he auditioned to mend mum's broken heart when he went to the Bridge. Of course I was the last one left - I was Reserved for her. And, though I say it myself, I did a pretty good job on the whole heart-mending thing.

But Catster is full of extremely photogenic cats of all colours including black and if people aren't choosing black cats they are missing out.

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