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Toby's Diary

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Mystery Box

November 18th 2014 10:42 pm
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My mum came home last night with a mystery box, a sort of crate covered with plastic. If Josie and I hadn't needed our supper I would have been right in there, vestigating.

As it was I had my supper, evening patrol, snuggles with my mum - the evening flew by.

Luckily I woke up in the night and remembered it. Off I trotted. What was in there? Kitty food? New toys? I couldn't wait to find out.

Carefully I tugged at the plastic. Hm - quite well packed in. The contents must be very valuable. A rootle round with a paw and yes, in.

"Josie - come quick," I called. "There's something alive in here. I cane see his fur. We must release him immediately."

I heard movement behind me and looked up but it wasn't Josie it was my mum. She's good at opening stuff. I carried on tugging at the plastic, hoping she would get the idea.

"What are you doing Toby?" she asked before adding, "It's 3am." She often helpfully tells me the time when we talk in the night.

"I am heroically and bravely rescuing an imprisoned animal," I explained.

Mum lifted the plastic and looked. "It's a teddy bear."

I like teddy bears. They are good to snuggle up with. "Help me then."

To my dismay my mum put the plastic back. "It's not our bear. We are looking after raffle prizes. Looking after doesn't mean pawing and clawing at them."

She seemed pretty firm on the subject but maybe I'll have another go while she is at work today. We do have some bears but I think we do have room for one more.


Wild cats

November 17th 2014 10:42 pm
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My mum was looking at a news website when a photo caught my eye.

"He's a handsome chap. What brave and heroic thing has he done?"

"That's just a stock photo. The article is about cats."

"What does it say?"

My mum scanned it to get straight to the good parts. "Whilst dogs have been domesticated and bred to live with humans the DNA of a wild cat is almost identical to, well - to yours."

This is not news. "Cats are all pretty much lions and tigers," I agreed.

"That would be so much more impressive if you weren't lying on your back having your tummy rubbed," said my mum.

I like having my tummy rubbed.

"Then it says that cats could just go out and carry on with their wild lives but they hang out with humans for the rewards."

"There are rewards?" Things are looking up. "When do we get them?"

"You get fed."

"Not always the flavour I would choose."

"You get tummy rubs."

"Not enough"

"You get warm places to sleep."

"That I have to share with Josie."

Mum had better get this reward thing sorted out quick smart or I may unleash the inner wild!


Cat had a wash

November 16th 2014 10:37 pm
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Sundays are bed linen change days and we like to join in. My mum pulls everything off and I pull everything in the other direction, or scramble under the sheets or pounce on where I see movement and we generally have a marvellous time.

Then my mum bundles everything in the machine, checks where me and Josie are so she knows we're not in with the sheets, and switches it on.

"What kind of crazy cat would go in the machine?" I asked. So she showed me film of Henry, running in the machine like it's a hamster wheel. Since then she has always worried that one day a cat might be in there with all the water and soap and being spun and no cat would like that. So she always checks.

But on Sunday a cat did sneak in. Don't worry - not me or Josie. My mum has a toy cat that sleeps on her bed. It's odd. We bat our toy mice around and play with them but she never does that with her toy cat.

Anyway the toy cat has a label that says he does not go in the machine but go in the machine he did, invisible in the folds of laundry.

"Oh dear!" said my mum when she pulled everything out, and he tumbled to her feet, all wet. She picked him up and had a good look.

"Your nose is a bit battered but you do look and smell lovely and I think you are OK," she pronounced the verdict. Then he spent the rest of the day on the radiator to dry out, half on his back which looked most uncomfortable. But it worked.

I don't think I would come out as well and certainly don't want to spend several hours on my back on the radiator so I'll be extra careful next tiome I'm helping my mum with the sheets. I had no idea it could be so hazardous.


Cheese sauce

November 13th 2014 10:37 pm
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When I came in yesterday evening I went straight over to Josie and touched noses.

"Oh that is so sweet," said my mum, "Giving your sisfur a kiss."

I wasn't. She had a smug look on her face so I was sniffing her breath.

I knew it.

"Where's my cheese sauce?" I asked. I'm not so fond of cheese but I do love my mum's cheese sauce.

Mum sighed. "I think there's a bit left in the pan."

One dollop later and I was satisfied. They should have known they couldn't get away with sneakily eating it when I was out.

(We only had a little bit and the vet is happy with both of our weights. People food is a very rare treat for us.)


Cats are never grumpy

November 12th 2014 10:49 pm
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People are annoying.

I was having my snuggle with my mum this morning and she said, "I am glad that you aren't so grumpy this morning. You must have slept well."

Now I did bite my mum yesterday but with good cause (and not hard.) She was petting me wrong. She's normally quite good but yesterday she was doing it wrong.

Then she also bought the wrong flavour biscuits and I don't like them.

"You liked them before," she lied. I am sure I didn't.

And it rained so we had to play indoors. (Never, ever tell anyone but I do like having a sisfur at times like that. We played chasey games and it was fun.)

And a man came to put mum's new shower in. (The old one was dripping cold water on her. Strange how she's happy to stand under water but picky on temperature.) I do not mind visitors but he hammered and banged and I do not like that.

So I bit my mum after all that and any cat would. It clearly worked, It is not raining today, no man is hammering and banging in the bathroom and she got the petting just right. Sometimes a little discipline is all that is needed.


The sofa

November 11th 2014 9:50 pm
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Josie is coming around to the new sofa. She has found that she can still perch on the back behind my mum's head which is what she likes to do.

"Actually it's better," she admitted. "I can curl up. I couldn't before."

Mum said that she went in the show room and asked only to look at sofas with wide arms and a wide back. No matter how comfy or well priced or attractive the others were she would only buy one that we would like.

Years of patient training and she is learning.

One last thing - she was sitting on it, looked round at us and said, "Watch this." One tug at a hook by the side and up went her feet. "How cool is that! We'll have a cosy winter reclining." And she did look very contented there. Josie wasn't quite convinced enough to sit on mum's legs and we do seem to have resolved the competition for their favourite spot - for now at least.


We have a new sofa

November 10th 2014 10:36 pm
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Most of yesterday we didn't so we had one arm chair and one cat bed and played musical chairs all day. As soon as anyone got up someone had snabbled their seat.

But then it arrived. Mum put the old throws on it so it would smell right for us and I like it. It has a wide arm for me to sit on just as mum promised. It doesn't have a squishy cat shaped nest on the arm but I'm working on that.

Mum likes it as it isn't squishy so she can get out of it.

Josie. Where's Josie? Has anyone seen the tortie? Mum went on the hunt and came back laughing.

Josie does not like the new sofa. She prefers the old one.

When mum's friends took it outdoors they left the cushions and seats here. When the new sofa was due my mum took those all in the spare room, piled them high, precariously balanced on top of a suitcase and laundry basket and that is where Josie is now choosing to sleep - her old familar cushions now with an aeriel view of the spare room. Fabulous!

Mum says she's not keeping them but Josie hopes she will. Josie gets to pretend she's the Princess with a hundred mattresses and I get to pretend I'm an only cat. Everyone's happy.


They stole our sofa

November 9th 2014 10:32 pm
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Friends came to see my mum on Sunday and all seemed normal. They admired me. Josie hid. Everyone drank tea. So far so good.

But then my mum opened the back doors, all the cushions came off the sofa and they all carried it outside. Now we just have the chair.

I really really miss my sofa. When I am feeling bad one thing always makes me feel better - attacking Josie.


"What? We were just playing," I explained, after I had removed the mouthful of Josie's fur.

"Play nicely," said my mum but the whole thing is her fault anyway for letting people steal my sofa. Turns out it was too heavy to carry anyway and they left it in the front garden.

With just one chair in the evening mum and Josie had to share and Josie sat on mum's lap which seemed to work out well for both of them. I wonder why they didn't think of that before.


Fireworks Night

November 5th 2014 10:30 pm
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is over and we won't miss it a bit.

Mum wouldn't let us outdoors last night and I could soon see why. Bangs and hisses and flashes from all over. I would like it known that I was extremely brave. I did look up when they were really loud and close by but I stayed with my mum.

Josie prowled and searched for the safest place she could think of. She settled on our fort - the big box that lives in the hall. That was as far away from any windows as she could find. Unfortunately that's not a usual place for her, mum didn't realise and pushed the fort to open the cupboard behind. Poor Josie came bounding out - off in search of another hiding place. She was not a happy cat.

So anyway now two good things. One is that although mum says there will be some firworks for a few days yet the worst noisy night is over and the other is that the reason my mum opened the cupboard was to turn the heating on.

We love the heating on!!


Mum fell out of bed

November 4th 2014 10:40 pm
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It was brilliant. People are a constant source of amusement. You would never get cats being so clumsy.

She was attempting to get up and caught her foot in a corner of the sheet which had folded back on itself and over she went, landing on her knees on the carpet.

No harm done, just a scraped knee.

She reckons it is my fault. The weather here has taken a turn for the cooler so mum flipped the mattress topper over yesterday. It has a fluffy side to keep her snug.

I never saw this side before but wow and I mean wow! It was so soft, so cosy, so welcoming. I wiggled my body and stretched out my claws and decided this was exactly where I will spend the entire winter.

And then my mum covered it over with a sheet.

"What are you doing? Leave my fluff where I can reach it!" I cried, but to no avail. Some nonsense about it being unhygienic to sleep right on the topper.

So I did what I could, placing myself where I would be most on the way to stop her. She did get the sheet on but clearly hadn't tucked it in properly and in the night it untucked, folded and the rest you know.

So I got my revenge for her covering my fluffy topper. Hopefully a valuable lesson learnt. Although she did tuck that corner in with renewed determination this morning.

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