Toby's Diary

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Getting my own back

August 5th 2013 10:32 pm
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My Mum thinks I have forgiven her for going away and not buying me a bird table but I haven't. Here is how I have been getting my vengeance.

Yesterday it rained. Not just a little bit, a lottle bit. It poured and poured. I went out in it and got soaked right through and then came back. I pretended to love my mum, rubbing my sodden fur against her so she got wet and muddy too.

"Toby - you are saturated," she said and it was true, one stroke and water was everywhere. It took a while to get dry but it will take her longer to get the mud off everything I rubbed against so totally worth it.

Then at bed time I jumped in the middle of mum's bed and made myself all cosy so she couldn't get in herself.

Seh rubbed my head. "What's got into you, crazy cat?" she asked. "Abandonment and no bird table," I thought but I just purred like a cat who cannot be moved.

I am pleased with yesterday's plans. Now I just need to think of some more...

 

Mum's friends

August 4th 2013 10:38 pm
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I did not like my weekend as my mum went away and abandoned us. When she came back on Sunday Josie went all loopy and happy but I was cool. Out I went.

Later I came in and sat beside her but I didn't look at her and flicked my tail so she would know she had displeased me.

She said she had gone back to Norfolk for the annual school reunion picnic. I don't know most of her old school friends so when she got her camera out to download their pictures I was interested to see what they looked like.

"That one's a dog," I was surprised. I had more imagined they would be people.

"Some of them brought their dogs," explained my mum, scanning to the next photo.

"That one's a dog too," I couldn't help but notice.

"They were lovely dogs. I do have some of people," she said.

Indeed she did - although always with the dogs. Another photo.

"There's you - with the dogs."

"I hadn't realised I had taken quite so many of the dogs," she admitted.

Then the last one really got my attention for it was a cat. His people have made him a very splendid elevated platform with a little roof to sleep in and there he was, all content.

"I want one of those," I said.

"It's not a cat place. It's a bird table," she said.

"Even better. I want one more. I like birds."

But apparently we're not getting one.

I am still being cool with my mum, abandoned and no bird table. Josie is still being all happy to see mum. No style, that cat!

 

I am REALLY not coming in

August 1st 2013 10:35 pm
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Having been a bit cooler yesterday was all hot again. My mum said it was a thing called the Spanish plume, headed straight up from the Mediterranean.

"That doesn't sound like Laura Belle sent it," I commented. There must be some kind Spanish cats who thought I might like it and I did.

And there was no way I was coming in. Mum tried the calling thing. I ignored her. She tried the temptingly scented food. I knew I would get that later. She tried the Dreamies but I was wise to that one. Even they would not take me from my pleasingly warm evening filled with things to chase to an over-hot flat filled with Josie.

So mum vanished. I heard going to bed sounds and laughed. Cracked it! I'm out for the night. What adventures I shall have! What creatures I shall meet!

What creatures shall I meet? As my Catster friends have pointed out, not all of them are prey and not all of them are well-disposed to small black cats.

"Mum," I called, scrabbling at the door, "Let me in." No sign of her then sweet relief there she was.

"I thought maybe you had gone to bed," I said as I poured myself through the door.

"I couldn't sleep if I didn't know you were safe," she replied. "I knew you would come in."

The plume has gone today as suddenly as it arrived. Maybe the Spanish cats missed it.

 

Mums can be annoying

July 31st 2013 10:38 pm
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The first thing my mum did was come home late yesterday. I was waiting at the window for her. When I did see her she had lots of bags. Turns out it was payday and she had been shopping. We are all stocked up on cat food and kitty litter.

"And treats?" I asked.

Mum looked at me. "Have you been a good boy?"

"Perfect," - why does she even bother asking?

"Then yes, I do have some treats. Including some new fishy ones."

So I forgave the whole late thing (although I haven't had any of the new treats yet.)

But then she was watching TV and a programme about Guide Dogs. She was all "look at the cute puppies" and "aren't those dogs well-trained?" She always gets ideas after watching programmes about dogs. Josie and I are cats and will never be trainable.

I am a sort of Guide Cat of course. I shepherd her into the kitchen when my tummy is empty and out of bed when I want to play. They should do a programme about all the valuable work cats do in making sure they get the best possible care. That's what she should be watching.

 

Josie tried to eat mum

July 30th 2013 10:30 pm
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It's true. That tortie has gone crazy!

It started very early when I was curled up on my chair and mum was in her bed and we were both sound asleep. Josie woke up and had a heart full of mischief.

She started chasing the lights of a car driving past which is a personal obsession of hers. Then she ran out of the room really fast. Then she ran back in. Then she ran out. Then she ran back in again. Up on the chest of drawers - and then it happened.

My mum is sleeping under only a sheet at the moment and her legs were easy to see. Josie dive-bombed off the drawers and grabbed my mum's left leg and bit her.

I would say that woke my mum up but I think all the running around had done that. It did make her pretty lively too though.

"Josie! What was that?"

Josie sniggered and darted off. Not the actions of a nice cat. Mum got up and saw that our biscuit bowl was empty so she fed us which was a bit of a result really as it wasn't properly breakfast time.

Now it is Josie is all tired and has gone back to bed. Mum says she didn't bite hard but it was a surprise. I am off hunting. Josie says she is the mightiest hunter as she got to bite her prey but mum's legs are hardly a difficult target.

 

I an NOT coming in!

July 29th 2013 10:34 pm
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Yesterday evening it rained and it thundered and it lightningend.

"I think I'll stay home this evening," I said to my mum as I settled down on my favourite bed.

"Good choice," she said. "I'm thinking I should too."

But she loves to dance so off she went to class.

By the time she got back the rain had stopped and I was ready to go out. I slipped past her when she opened the front door on her return.

"Toby!" she called.

But I was gone. She came out to catch me so I slithered over the gate and into the back garden. Tee hee!

A little while later I heard her at our special cat door. She pushed it open and called through it, in her extra excited, something good is about to happen voice. "Toby, come here Toby."

I ran quickly across the garden to find out what it was, right up to the door and then I realised. There was no special thing. It was a trick.

"I am NOT coming in," I said and walked out of arm's reach.

"Grr," she said and the flap closed.

It opened moments later to an intriguing rustling sound,

"Come and see what I've got" she called.

I went close enough to sniff. Mmmm - whitefish and shrimp if I mistake me not- and my best brand of cat food. I was tempted but, "I am NOT coming in."

The door closed.

Then a few moments later it opened. "How about this?"

I got closer and sniffed. Could it be?..It was. Dreamies. I love Dreamies. I can't get enough of them. Curses! I couldn't help myself. I had to go in. I slid through the door and mum had it closed and locked quick smart while I ate my Dreamies. I was coming in after all but it was so worth it.

Anyway I don't think my mum could sleep if I wasn't in the room to keep an eye on her.

 

Thunder

July 28th 2013 10:37 pm
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Mostly I liked my weekend. Mum was home a lot so we spent some time all snoozing and she came with me in the garden and I demonstrated how you hunt. I was showing her the importance of stealth and silence as you stalk your prey.

It didn't work, she still came galumphing up all shrill shrieks and arms waving every time I thought I might actually catch something. She just gets so excited she forgets everything I've told her.

One thing I did not like happened on Saturday. I was happily mooching about in the garden when the sky rumbled and grumbled. I ran for it, straight to my cat flap where I frantically scrabbled with my paws.

"Let me in, terrible danger is out here" I shouted.

Mum came and opened my little door.

"The French Windows are open," she commented, "That would have been quicker."

I didn't want to admit to any kind of panic.

"I wanted to see you so I knew you were OK," I said.

Then I nestled up next to her so I could feel her warm and breathing and knew everything would be OK while the thunder lasted. Josie was under mum's bed which is her place of safety.

So it's a little bit cooler here and I think Ka-zar's cool has reached us and hope some of our hot reached him.

 

Hunting frogs

July 25th 2013 10:29 pm
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Yesterday should have been prime frog hunting weather with all that rain. But I didn't see any. In the evening time I went out again. I'm determined to get Laura Belle her froggie.

I didn't see a single one. I did see one little creature and I thought maybe he would do so I carefully brought him indoors and put him down. Then I went back out as I would prefer to send a frog.

When I had rumble tum later and came back my mum was in the kitchen washing up. But where was my catch?

"Where is he?" I demanded to know.

Mum looked down.

"Where is who?"

"That cute baby slug I caught and brought in."

"I took him out. He was ikky." she said.

"But I thought Laura Belle might like him," I protested.

"I'm pretty sure she wouldn't. Slugs aren't funny like frogs. They don't exactly give you much of a chase."

I suppose my mum is right but she should check with me before letting my prey escape. First the bird, now this. Can't a boy keep any livestock?

The other unfair thing my mum has done is put her water in a bottle, I have tried but I can't get in. Mercifully our water is still in a glass though so I wasn't without. But still...

 

Helping my mum sleep

July 24th 2013 10:33 pm
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At night my mum grumbles and squiggles and wriggles and makes it very hard for me and Josie to sleep so we knew the time had come to take action. She does use a water spray as I've mentioned before so water must be good.

"What if we tipped a whole glassful on her bed?" I asked Josie.

"Not our glass," she said hurriedly.

"Of course not. We need that. Her glass."

Things didn't go quite as smoothly as we had hoped. I had intended a dramatic flume of water over all her pillows but it just kind of tipped over and got lodged between the bed and the bedside table. We weren't even sure any had got on the bed.

When mum came home she didn't see and she wasn't thirsty at bedtime so didn't notice. Oh well, I thought, we tried.

Then she snuggled herself down to sleep, slid a hand under her pillow and "What?!" She sat up, turned the light on, moved the pillow - and yes, we had given the corner of the bed and under the pillow a good dousing.

Her verdict - a damp pillow is good to sleep on when you're hot but she isn't sure the it does the feathers any good so please can we not do that again.

In other news they have accidentally called the new Prince George. We've had rather a lot of King Georges so I'm pretty sure they had intended to say Toby which would be unique and the first but it's too late now.

This morning it is raining which is prime frog hunting weather so I'm off to try and catch one.

 

We still think it's hot

July 23rd 2013 10:38 pm
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We did have storms yesterday. I don't mind the distant rumbles of thunder but even mum jumped when it was right overhead. It poured with rain and I got wet.

But it's still hot here. I've started sleeping on the window sill at night. Firstly, it is the coolest place and secondly I can see the sun as soon as it peeps its head over the houses opposite. I like to wake my mum and tell her the new day is arriving but she never gets as excited about that as I do.

Josie likes the hot. I heard her nestling up with mum last night purring very contentedly while mum muttered something about Josie being too warm for snuggles but rightly enough Josie ignored her.

We saw the new Prince on TV yesterday. He has no fur yet but he was waving his little hands. He also has no name so we could yet see King Toby.

I asked my mum what Toby means and she said she thought it was something like "The Lord is good" but I see myself more as the demon chaser type. I like that story and will find demons to chase.

 
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