Taking a decent selfie can be a challenge. Taking a selfie that includes a cat can be next to impossible. There’s something so cute about a perfectly posed selfie of a human and a cat. I’ve attempted to capture this kind of photo on several occasions, but I rarely snap a selfie that makes me and my cat look cute. Well, forget about even looking cute — can my cat just look at the camera? I swear these kinds of photos require someone who is a professional cat wrangler as well as an expert photographer. If you know anyone with such qualifications, please let me know. Until then, I’ll continue filling up my iPhone’s camera roll with a few dozen pics that (maybe) result in one decent selfie.
Here are some of my “better luck next time” shots.
Not only is this one out of focus, Cosmo looks completely embarrassed and a little deflated. He knows he must relent to my selfie mania, but that doesn’t mean he has to feel happy about it. In fact, he won’t even look at the camera. Unlike an “angry snuggle,” this is more of a “sad snuggle” that’ll probably turn angry in a matter of seconds.
Well, if he won’t look at the camera, I’ll make him do it. This is always a good plan, right? The result is a disturbing-looking pic in which I appear to be strangling my poor kitty. And my attempt at forcing his eyes to meet the camera lens is for naught. He’ll look in the general direction but will avoid the lens. Humans usually occupy the losing end of compromises with cats, especially ones that involve photos.
Even though Cosmo compromises to sort-of look at the camera, the concession is but momentary, and then he’s done. The curtain comes down on my well-intentioned shot of a “look how happy we are” selfie.
Look how far away from me he can run.
Look at how irritated he is with me.
Mistake No. 1: trying to secure a decent-looking selfie starring me and my cat. Mistake No. 2: trying to add something in the background. I have this little lighted star hanging on my wall. I thought it’d be cute as a background object. After all, Cosmo is a star in my book. Now look what happened! Neither the star nor Cosmo made it fully into the shot. Additionally, Cosmo couldn’t be bothered to look anywhere near the camera. My star had fizzled.
Oh, no. Just no. Hell no. How many of these scary images do you have on your phone? I have more than a few. This is The Exorcist-style result of too much movement on the part of the camera and the subjects. Not pictured: pea soup.
When Cosmo follows me in the bathroom in the morning, I’m sometimes compelled to pick him up and grab a quick selfie. He loves my cozy bathrobe, anyway, so why wouldn’t he be all in? The result is typically a full-blown angry snuggle. All he wanted was to spend a few minutes watching me do my bathroom routine, and then he got roped into photos. Too bad for him. I should get some kind of payback for letting him hijack my bathroom privacy. And hey — I look pretty good for not yet having a sip of coffee. Cosmo’s the one who looks like he needs some caffeine.
It seems if I want a truly nice-looking selfie of Cosmo and me, I have to pose with a photo of him. A photo of a photo. That makes all kinds of sense. Cats have to be complicated, though. We wouldn’t know how to act if they were predictable and agreeable.