It’s nearly St. Paddy’s Day, and many folks — Irish or not — look at the day as an opportunity to kick back and party up. When it comes to human parties, it seems like there are usually the stereotypical guests in attendance, especially after guzzling a few green beers and whiskey shots. Cats would be no different on St. Patrick’s Day — except the liquor would be replaced with piles of bright green nip.
Here are seven types of cats taking part in St. Paddy’s Day party shenanigans.
1. The water-chugger
“Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!” Yeah, this gal likes to be the center of attention, and she is easily influenced by the cheers of the other partygoers. She hasn’t met a water faucet she didn’t like, and she is the first to step up when it comes to “water-chugging.” Unfortunately, she just doesn’t know when to say when, and she winds up spending the last part of the night with her butt lowered into a litter box.
2. The funny guy
This fella will do anything for a laugh, especially after several sprigs of fresh nip. He has been known to wear hats and other cat clothing that he’d otherwise disdain — it’s true! He’s also the jokester who makes sure everyone hears the prank calls he makes to the local vet clinics: “Hi, I’d like to make an appointment to get my abdomen checked. I don’t like the boring gray color anymore. LOLOLOL!” *click*
3. The stoner
There’s always one guest who sits in the corner and gets wasted. He zones out, except for when others stop by to have super deep conversations about medicinal catnip and the meaning of lives. He’s also the one who will lick the “cheese” coating off of an entire snack-size bag of cheese doodles and then look stoned with a giant orange ring around his mouth.
4. The nip-faced snacker
Speaking of the munchies, some feline guests can’t seem to hold it together when they attempt to snack while nip-faced. It’s pretty good entertainment to observe them enthusiastically go to town on some snacks, and then watch their heads slowly sink into the the food dish. The other guests don’t care one bit — they just eat around his face.
5. The smiler
Some cats get sleepy when they’ve partaken in a pile of nip. Others become playful. Still others hang out with slits for eyes and a giant grin on their face. The funny thing is that they don’t even realize they’ve got the perma-smile thing going on. They simply nod, grin, and give off the “peace and love” vibe the whole night. This is also the cat with the Volkswagon bus-shaped cat condo.
6. The kisser
You know the type: as soon as they get a little buzz, they start hugging and kissing every cat in the room. It doesn’t matter if it’s the first time they’ve met or if they’ve known one another since their kitten days, all bets are off. The kissing bandit rolls around in some catnip and then everyone at the party is their best friend … or more if the ol’ spay-or-neuter dealio hasn’t yet occurred. Of course, sober cats do their best to avoid running into these kissy faces, but sometimes the pull is far too strong. What happens at Stinky’s St. Paddy’s Day party stays at Stinky’s St. Paddy’s Day party.
PSA: Spay and neuter your pets.
7. The show-off
There’s at least one in every party crowd. These braggarts like to show everyone just how cool they (think they) are. They’re definitely more boastful after an evening of catnip delights, but their natural personality is still 100 percent show-off.
“Look how sharp my claws are.”
“Check out how far I can swat this Sharpie lid.”
“You can put three treats inside your mouth at once? Child’s play! Watch this!”
What kind of guest would your cat be at a St. Paddy’s Day party? Tell us in the comments!