5 Reasons I Think Tuxedo Cats Are Top Shelf


I’ve long been a fan of tuxie cats, and not just because my soul cat, Cosmo, happens to sport a fine-looking tuxedo. My mom had a tuxie named Spooker for 14 years, and she always told me there was something special about those tuxedo kitties. I believe her.

My Cosmo is the best dancer I know.

Here are five reasons I think tuxedo cats are first-class all the way.

1. They’re ’round-the-clock fancy

"Do you need a plus-one?"
“Do you need a plus-one?”

The built-in tux means they’re ready for all kinds of elegant occasions. This is a good thing, because you never know when fancy opportunities will arise. It’s nice to feel prepared, you know. How nice to wear something that makes you look stunning and feel comfortable all at the same time. I have yet to acquire such an outfit.

2. Some have fantastically white whiskers

The whiskers! They kill me!
The whiskers! They kill me!

My Cosmo has the best whiskers ever. I’m not even kidding — look at them! Look! They’re long, thick and incredibly white, making them a gorgeous contrast against his shiny black fur. Most tuxies I’ve seen possess such lovely whiskers. And on top of the outstanding whisker-wonder, Cosmo has fuzzy white fluff inside his ears. I sometimes gently tickle the ear fluff, and he loves that. Probably.

What a guy!

3. The socks, mittens, and boots

Sock it to me, Cosmo.
Sock it to me, Cosmo.

Many tuexdo cats have at least one or two white feet, resembling socks, mittens, or boots. What I call them depends on how far they come up the cat’s legs. Cosmo’s front paws are clearly tidy little mittens. His back feet, however are like socks. One “sock” comes up a little higher on his leg than the other one does. My daughter told me she thinks he’s wearing one ankle sock and one knee sock. I prefer to imagine him wearing a pair of knee socks, with one sagging a bit around his ankle. Don’t you think that’s a cuter visual? I thought you might.

4. They appear dignified, so it’s extra funny when they look silly

Peeky tongue for the win!
Peeky tongue for the win!

Tuxies naturally appear dignified. Anyone who’s dressed to the nines automatically owns that look. When something particularly silly happens to our distinguished black-and-white kitties, it’s especially funny.

Cosmo often forgets to retract his tongue after an extended bathing session. A stately feline with an peeky tongue, inside-out ear, or random dingleberry stuck to their bum is pretty funny — admit it. And when they accidentally tumble off the sofa arm and then try to recover with a “totally meant to do that” vibe, it’s simply hysterical.

5. White bellies? Yes, please!

Gel-pack man panties all day long.
Gel-pack man panties all day long.

Tuxedo cats usually have a some form of white fur on their bellies. They’re Oreo cookies, and that’s their cream filling. It’s some irresistible filling, too! I can’t keep my hands off of it!

Although some kitties have full-on white bellies, I adore the ones with odd-shaped patches. Cosmo has a bit of white on his chest that extends to his middle. That’s his tuxedo shirt, although it’s really more of a dickey. His bottom patch is a glorious piece of work. I call it his “man panties” because it’s heart-shaped and makes it look like he’s wearing bikini underwear. Hee hee. My family can’t stand it when I refer to his “man panties,” but I think it’s pure gold. And since it annoys them, of course I say it often. Man panties! Man panties!

Cosmo’s getting up there in age, so his lower belly is sagging and resembles a soft gel pack. This makes the “man panties” even more fabulous, as if that were even possible.

Read more by Angie Bailey:

About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (originated right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.

2 thoughts on “5 Reasons I Think Tuxedo Cats Are Top Shelf”

  1. I’d like to know where you got the picture you used for this article. I didn’t see a source by the picture.

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