April 14th 2008 7:24 pm
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...sucker felines should call me sire.

Apologies to RUN DMC and mad props to William Brighty Rands, the poet who wrote this...

The Cat of Cats

I am the cat of cats. I am
The everlasting cat!
Cunning, and old, and sleek as jam,
The everlasting cat!
I hunt vermin in the night-
The everlasting cat!
For I see best without the light-
The everlasting cat!

I haven't written in a while- or let's just say I haven't been published in a while. My human has been so wrapped up in his own little world, that he hasn't taken the time to share my ramblings. I'd enter my own diary entry, but my paws are too fat for the keyboard. My typing would end up looking something like this- uhbf/vilIDFVNHObv - which probably spells something in Russian. Anyway, my human thinks I need a new place to poo- one with a retractable dome- like those new baseball stadiums. Apparently, he doesn't like it when I think "outside the box". I, on the other paw, am waiting for him to install some black lights in the bathroom, so I can admire my handiwork (technically I don't have hands, but I don't think "pawiwork" is a word). Besides, I think the money he'd spend on a new box could be better spent- on tuna- for me. Well, basically, I just wanted to wish my feline friends a happy Spring. If you go out, stay out of traffic and wear your flea collar. If you stay in, I hope there's a nice breeze drifting through your screen door and birds to watch from your window roost.