We need to talk about your flair.
I’m not trying to Office Space you to death here, but honestly, I want you to express yourself and have fun, okay? That’s what flair’s about. It’s about fun.
I have a great Dolly Parton pin that lives on the breast pocket of my favorite jacket. Once, while ordering a coffee from a seemingly blind barista, I was asked, “Is that a pin of yourself, or what?” Now, I absolutely love the idea of wearing a pin of your own face several inches away from your own face. It’s something I’ve looked into ever since, as part of an ongoing attempt to disappoint the people in my life who want me to make friends. But this pin isn’t that, it’s simply an ode to Miss Dolly. I ended up having a lovely conversation with the barista about old school country artists — an unexpected surprise as I live in San Francisco, a city where country music isn’t as popular as it would be if I ran things.
In an effort to score you some pleasantries with the kind folks who make your coffee in the mornings, you’ve got to jump on this trend. I’m not saying you should cover yourself in cat accessories. (But if you do, that’s amazing. Send me photos.) I am saying that if you want to get one step closer to daily cat banter, there probably isn’t a better way.
Maneki Neko by GossipRag, $9.99
My birthday is 7/11, meaning I have nonstop jets of luck steaming out of my ears more or less 100 percent of the time. If you aren’t as inherently lucky as I am, allow me to offer my condolences. Stay away from ladders, mirrors, and yourself, probably. May I suggest this sweet pin by GossipRag? Accomplish two things at once and look cute while staying prosperous.
Enamel Pin by Sockie, $9
I’ll shoot it to you straight: It’s hard to pull off a pin of a cat that’s more stylish that you are. This pretty lady by Sockie is a lot of pressure. Some of you might be better off pinning trash to your lapel, and I totally get that. For you glorious readers who make an effort in the morning, own it! Live a little! Wear a cat with amazing eyewear!
Cry Baby by PenelopeGazin, $12
I like to imagine the owner of this amazing PenelopeGazin pin making this exact face the entire time it’s being worn. “Hi, so-and-so, how are you?” (This face and silence.) “Is that a replica of your cat?” (This face and silence.) “We need to talk about your TPS Reports.” (This face and silence.)
White Cat by SurfingSloth, $9.34
Looking for a way to weed out any wet blankets? Australian Etsy seller SurfingSloth has got you. This wallflower of a kitty is perfect for meeting your future in-laws, job interviews, and Catholic weddings.
Donut Cat by The NoSuchDisco, $10.26
Deep into the Etsy-shaped rabbit hole, things can get weird. Here’s a donut-cat that I don’t understand, but that I’m not mad about. Do you need a smiling donut-cat? Of course not, you weirdo. But need and want are two very different concept. Also, a fun game I like to play when I have a meeting — but don’t want anyone to ask me any big questions — is called “Wear Something That Looks Like Your IQ Is Much, Much Lower Than It Is.” Don’t be too quick to write off that little nugget of knowledge.
Taco Cat by NateDuval, $9.00
Did you know that “taco cat” spelled backwards is “taco cat”? Fun facts! Want to repeat that fact, I don’t know, a half dozen times a day? Great, slap this on. Better yet, slap this on and go out for tacos and then tell everyone your taco cat trivia, whether they ask or not. Watch the public’s collective mind explode. Repeat.
Tombstone by MonsterOutside, $9
And what better pin to end on?
This seller has a plethora of dark flair. (There’s also a “There Better Be Dogs” pin for those of you who are into that.) As for this cat pin? These are our sentiments exactly, MonsterOutside.