Guys, you know what makes me more mad than bad fashion and homeless furchilds? A furchild with the possibility to make a big difference in the world but who is just too lazy to do it.
Meet Choupette, the French kitty who was so lucky to get as a daddy Karl Lagerfeld — oh yeah, the fashion designer, artist, and photographer!
So this bitch (excuse my French) has two maids, goes to the vet every ten days, takes vitamins fur have silkier fur, travels in private jets, and naps around Chanel stuffs all day long. SHOOT ME NOW!
She also eats at the table from the finest china — of course, only the good stuffs! Choupette probably don’t know what is Fancy Feast …
She even has her own iPad, but guess what? I had one first. TAKE THAT, CHOUPETTE!
If I was Choupette, I would be demanding some couture Chanel pieces. Surely Daddy Karl could hook me up?
If I’m honest, Choupette Lagerfeld and her lazy luxury lifestyle is KILLING ME. Here’s what I would do if I were her:
1. I would switch one of my maids for a personal trainer
There’s nothing more annoying than a DUMB rich bitch. I know, I know — people think that kitties don’t like to do tricks because we are too cool fur school, but when you are a celebrikitty I think it’s a must!
Brains are a good asset, Choupette — watch and learn.
2. I would give my daddy a makeover.
Seriously, Karl Lagerfeld has had this same “look” fur decades! I know some will claim that it’s his signature look, but fashion is about taking risks and pushing boundaries. Fabulousness awaits you when you step out of your comfort zone. Although I have to admit that he can rock the “funeral look” like no other.
3. I would use my superfashion powers to help stars whose worst enemies are their stylists.
I’m not talking only about red carpet disasters — many celebrities are a walking fashion sin every day. Sometimes they think they are rocking a Bohemian look, but they just look like they got dressed in the dark!
4. I would use my private jet to help other cats … and celebrities
I would fly my daddy’s private jet to adoptions events. I would like to spend time with celebrities like Ian Somerhalder, who is a notorious cat lover. Seriously — everybody would want to adopt a furchild just so they could take a picture with us. Maybe we could do a calendar collaboration fur raise money — oof, the sky is the limit!
5. I would start my own charity fashion line, FOR REALS
I would have my own furchild purrducts and I would use the profit to help homeless dogs and cats around the world. I wonder if Martha Stewart donates at least part of her profits to ASPCA or someone else? Probably NOT! Anyways I would be a fab furshionista with a purpose.
Choupette, I promise you can always hire me to do all the stuff you don’t want to do — I guess you can afford me lol!
Last of all, I want to feature Lulu. She is a beautiful girl looking fur a forever home in Beverly Hills, Califurnia! (Any Hollywood celebrities who are reading this right now — GO GET HER!)
Read more Luna columns and about feline fashionistas: