Ask a Cat Lady with Sarah Donner: Cat vs Man

Apr 26th 2012  |   70 Contributions

Catster reader Blu asks: “My boyfriend has been staying with me. My cat, Vixen, whom I've had for eight years, isn't adjusting very well. She hisses, growls, and lunges at him nonstop. He he wants me to get rid of her by taking her to a shelter and doesn't understand my attachment to her. Do you have any advice for me?"

Sarah Says: When I received this e-mail, my heart broke into little kibble pieces. I’m not a therapist, so please take this with a grain of litter. Now, I don’t know everyone’s side of the story or how serious this relationship is, so I’m making a few assumptions here.

Blu, it doesn’t sound like your boyfriend has made much of an effort to win your Vixen’s trust. It takes a lot of time to win the trust of a leery cat, and I’d recommend that your boyfriend try giving her special treats or catnip. Take small steps toward gaining her tolerance. It’s great if Vixen can hang out with your man in the same room without being upset. It doesn’t sound like your boyfriend’s safety is threatened. It does sound like his ego is a little bruised because of the special bond you have with your kitty. Some people just don’t jell with cats, and you can’t force it.

Even if he’s not a cat person, your boyfriend needs to learn to live with your kitty if he values your relationship. An ultimatum is manipulative and unkind,in my opinion. You should sit down and make it very clear how much you love Vixen and that she is part of your family.

If your boyfriend still insists on getting rid of the cat, I say it’s time to rethink who you want to spend your time with. Who knows -- your kitty might be trying to tell you something about this guy...

The Lyrics: Cat vs. Man by Sarah Donner

It can take some time to get through
It can take some getting used to
Change is hard for anyone to take
When your side of the bed is at stake
Anyone worth your love will wait

A girl shouldn’t have to make decisions like that
If a man makes you choose between himself and your cat
Clearly he is a douchebag

If your man wants some action
It’s gonna take some effort
To forge a feline friendship
Patience, toys, treats, and tuna
Bribery goes a long way

A girl shouldn’t have to make decisions like that
If a man makes you choose between himself and your cat
Clearly he is...
Though I don’t know all the facts
But I tend to side with your cat

Sources: Pure opinion, baby.

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