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Goodbye to my one true love

Whether a cat dies, is lost or stolen, or must be placed in a new home, this is the place to gather together to give and receive love and support when you experience the loss of a beloved cat.

  
Yogi

1270160
 
 
Purred: Fri Sep 28, '12 9:58am PST 
My cat died two weeks ago, at the age of 14 and a half.
This is the first post I'm making here, even though I've been a fan of the site in a long while. Maybe it’s weird to make the first post when I don’t have a cat anymore, I don’t know. Maybe it’s part of a grieving process. Maybe it’s because I love her so much I feel like there’s a hole in my life, now that she’s gone, and I need to tell someone about her. I know everyone thinks that about their cat, but she really was special and one of a kind.

When we got her, she was a month and a half old, but we knew her practically from the moment she was born. The mother belonged to a family in our neighborhood, and me and my sister (I was in fifth grade and she was in the third) would go there every day to see her until she was old enough to come home. It was love at first sight, for us and for her. From the first night, she slept with us in our bed, and followed us around asking to be petted and carried. I never knew another cat who liked to be held like that, but she thought she was a human baby, until her last days. She was so affectionate. Every day when we’d come back from school, or my parents from work, she’d come and greet us. If one of us was sick, she’d follow that person around the house, even to the bathroom, and sit on them and purr whenever they stopped, until they got better. She’d sit with us at the table at every meal – get up on one of the chairs, her head just peeking, and stay like that until we finished dinner. If we were watching TV, she’d join us, on one of our laps (in fact, she got so used to us watching the news on 9 pm every day that if we weren’t on the couch at 9 she’d sit there and complain until someone came, because that was her evening cuddling time and she was a creature of habit, especially when she got older). Everywhere we’d go, she’d follow – if my parents were working in the garden, she’d come to personally check every plant they planted, if we were hanging up laundry, she’d come sit by and watch. She’d sit on our books and board games and newspaper and keyboard. She even tried to sit on our hands when we were using the computer’s mouse. She always wanted to be part of everything. If we went away, even if it was only for two-three days, we’d pay someone to come and play with her, not just feed her, because she hated being alone. She always got agitated when she saw suitcases, because she knew we were leaving her. When I left for uni she was so angry at me when I came back that I started calling home on skype – I’m not kidding, I swear – just so she would hear my voice and see my face and realize I haven’t abandoned her. She would always rub her face against the screen.

She was always rather spoiled and we were doting and as a result we took her to the vet a lot, but she wasn’t sick very often. When she was a baby she had asthma attacks but they passed when she got older. She was allergic to all kind of anti-flee stuff, including the collars – the one time we tried she started frothing at the mouth and scared us to death. She threw up hairballs all the time even though we brushed her 2-3 times a day (always on the rug beside my bed, so I’d step in it first thing in the morning). She never had a large appetite and was very picky – at her heaviest she weighted 2 kg. We bought her the horribly expensive gourmet pet food but what she loved most was corn and hummus, she’d go crazy over them, and also pastrami (the real, expensive deli stuff, obviously). This past year she’s been getting a little less healthy – slept a lot more, was pickier with her food, took care of herself less – but we thought it was part of getting old. We took her to the vet a few times, and he changed her food, cleaned her teeth, but generally he agreed. Then two months ago it got obvious something was wrong. She’ stop eating, and we’d take her to the vet, and he’d give her an in infusion and diagnose something, and she’d get better, and in a week we would be at the vet again. Each time he diagnosed something else – a general infection, diabetes, a problem with her kidneys, a urinary tract infection, an infection in her teeth. The last week she wouldn’t eat at all, even her favourites, and wouldn’t get out from underneath my sister’s bed. She even peed there. So we took her to the vet again on Wednesday. He felt around her stomach for ten minutes before he decided she had a tumor. He said we had three choices – let her live like this until she dies naturally, put her to sleep, or open her to see if he could do anything, though he wasn’t hopeful. We decided on the surgery. In the end, when he opened her, there wasn’t much he could do. It turned out she had a chronic condition, a thickening of the walls of her intestine, which thickened over the years until no food could go through. She probably had it since she was born, which was why she ate so little, but it only got really bad these past two months.

I’m comforted by the fact that she was suffering, and she isn’t anymore, and by the fact that we gave her the best home we could, while she was with us, but it doesn’t make losing her any easier. She was so much a part of me and my life that everything reminds me of her. When I hang up laundry, I keep waiting for her to show up. I wake up in the middle of the night because I’m used to her 3 AM cuddle bootie calls. I still look around before I vacuum, because the noise used to scare her. My clothes still have cat hair on them. There’s still the squashed up spot among the tea herbs where she liked to sleep. And every time I see something white out of the corner of my eye, I turn around, expecting it to be her, and then I remember. And I wonder if it will ever get any easier.

Edited by author Fri Sep 28, '12 10:00am PST

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Alex (sweet- angel girl)

Angel on a- mission!
 
 
Purred: Fri Sep 28, '12 10:16am PST 
It really is still very fresh in your heart. It's going to take a long time sweetie, don't feel like you have to rush the process. I know it's painful but it's something you need to go through. I'm so very sorry for your loss. You can read about grieving the loss of a pet here on my site: Grieving the loss
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Yogi

1270160
 
 
Purred: Fri Sep 28, '12 12:16pm PST 
Thank you for your kind words and for directing me to your post. It really helped, and I'm sorry for your own loss, too.
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Monster

It's all about- me.
 
 
Purred: Fri Sep 28, '12 12:50pm PST 
What a beautiful love story. You two were so lucky to have each other.
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Alex (sweet- angel girl)

Angel on a- mission!
 
 
Purred: Fri Sep 28, '12 2:29pm PST 
Thank you so very much. Even after 4 years it can still hurt if I let myself think about it too long. But I was lucky to have my girl as well and as Monster said, you two were a beautiful love story. I'm glad you posted here, Catster is wonderful place for support. hug
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Natasha

Princess Forever
 
 
Purred: Fri Sep 28, '12 8:22pm PST 
What a beautiful story of her life with you. You remembered all of the good parts and knew her personality so well as she knew you. Does it get easier; it does in a way. You know that they lived a good life with you. You cared for them as no one else would have. Your life would have not been so full without knowing them. ...I lost my Natasha last December and Ben ten years ago.
Whenever I see a Maine Coon or an orange cat, I think of them. As much as I get sad, I do remember the good times. It is very recent for you so you will grieve. Only another animal person can help. She was very special to you. I had a remembrance gathering for Ben and Natasha when they passed. We told our stories of what Ben or Natasha did. We ate shrimp and lit candles. It helped. My adult children and husband told stories of the fun times. Sharing these feelings helps.
May you know that she is at the Bridge with her friends....She is your guardian angel and may sen another sweetie to help you.....
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Yogi

1270160
 
 
Purred: Sat Sep 29, '12 12:02am PST 
It was a beautiful love story, for all my family - we wouldn't have given her up for anything, and grief is a small price to pay for all the good times we had with her, I know that. I'm just not sure if I could go through that again. They do understand - we were known around the neighborhood as the crazy cat family, even though we only had one cat, because we spoiled her so much. When we went abroad for two weeks last year, our neighbors, who were babysitting her, would text us twice a day how she's doing, because they knew we worried. My grandmother once said that in her next life time, she wanted to be born as our cat laugh out loud My father doesn't even really like cats - as a child he always had dogs, and we only got a cat because we vetoed a dog - but he was completely infatuated with her too. So I'm around people who understand, and who are going through the same thing, at least.
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Alex (sweet- angel girl)

Angel on a- mission!
 
 
Purred: Sat Sep 29, '12 9:10am PST 
It helps tremendously to have a good support system. At least you're not hearing that awful phrase "it's just a cat!" grrrrr. I know you feel you can't go through it again and you may not, who knows. But I never thought I would after my Alex died 4 years ago. I refused!!! But she had other plans for me. She sent me two of the most rambunctious kitties ever and they make me laugh all the time. big grin
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Delyte, Dark- Angel, at- Bridge

Me and my- person, together- against all
 
 
Purred: Sat Sep 29, '12 11:57am PST 
This is Delyte. We are all so sorry you lost your dear friend, after such a long and happy life together. You know from reading here that she is on the Rainbow Bridge, looking down at you with love and wanting to dry your tears.

I am sad about the cause of her death because apparently I have something similar. Mine developed into a large tumor when I was 10, and my person insisted that it be removed. It was not cancer, just an overgrowth of tissue, which narrowed my bowels until my poops were thin. It's been more than 7 years now and I am still here, but they say it could happen again at any time. I am too old to undergo another operation, so if it happens I will be joining Yogi on the Bridge. There does not seem to be anything to prevent it and it is hard to diagnose even if you know what to look for.

Purrs to you from all of us on the loss of your wonderful life-long friend. When the time is right, do think about trying a new friendship, because there are so many kitties who need a caring home like yours full of "crazy" cat people! wink
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