I failed my cat.

Whether a cat dies, is lost or stolen, or must be placed in a new home, this is the place to gather together to give and receive love and support when you experience the loss of a beloved cat.


Member Since
Purred: Sun Jul 1, '12 8:27pm PST 
6 months ago I adopted a stray Maine coon mix who I found wandering my apartment complex. I meowed at her and she came right up for attention, and on a stormy night we let this declawed gentle giant into our apartment and fell in love with her. She was the sweetest thing and loved to lay on my back and give me kisses and woke me up with gentle nudges on the nose. Three days ago she became very lethargic, and I thought due to the recent heatwave and flea infestation. We got her a flea collar and a bathe and a shave and she seemed to be getting better, but i called off work to stay and watch her. At 4:30pm today, she crawled off into the hallway, layed down, and passed on. I feel like it's my fault for not doing more, not realizing how serious it was, and not sucking it up and paying the emergency vet bills that i honestly cant afford. I feel like I killed Toby. I don't know what to do.

Orange Ruffy

The Baboo Kitty- has Spoken!
Purred: Mon Jul 2, '12 7:52am PST 
Dear, kind person,
You took in a lost soul. You provided, shelter, food, and water.
You saw a cat who was distressed from heat and uncomfortable.
You didn't know he was sick, you couldn't.

Please don't blame yourself for being kind, and good. You don't know what had happened before he came to you, and that you were there, you were saintly, that, my dear one, is what counts.

Guides sometimes come to your lives for a brief time, to tap you with a gentle paw, and purr thank you.

with purrs of comfort, dear person,


Patch - wallpaper- stripper
Purred: Mon Jul 2, '12 10:20am PST 
You didn't know he was ill, he came to you and gave you love as you gave him. He knew love in his last months and that is wonderful. You did your best and now he is watching from the bridge and waiting to love you again.little angellittle angel


Knead softly &- carry a big purr
Purred: Mon Jul 2, '12 2:37pm PST 
Sometime, it just happens - nothing that could have been done. My guess is that whatever it was, there was probably not much that could have been done. IF this kitty was Maine Coon, she could have had heart issues, and sadly, there is not much to be done when it is progressed very far. You gave this kitty love for the time she was in your life. Many kits do not get that. She will always be there for you, and maybe she will send another kit to watch over you. You have our purrs for peace - please do not blame yourself.

Louis- Armstrong - ILM

I'm walkin' to- New Orleans.....
Purred: Mon Jul 2, '12 5:50pm PST 
Please know you did NOT "Fail your cat". Whatever took her so quickly had to have been serious, but since she did not show any signs of illness, there is no way you could have known. As others have said, she knew love and kindness, and obviously loved you for what you did for her. How much worse would it have been for her to be alone in those last moments, rather than in her own home with her person.

I lost my beloved Maine Coon mix, Louis Armstrong on April 26, he was only sixe years old. It was very probably a heart attack. Did not know Maine Coons are subject to this. Our good friend on CATSTER, Bumpurr went to the Rainbow Bridge only about a week and a half before my Louie. I know they are running together there, and I will see Louie again one day, as you will see your Toby.

All CATSTER member understand your sense of guilt and loss, but hopefully our messages will lighten it.

Hugs and Purrs,
The New Orleans Kitties


RESPECT The- Star!
Purred: Wed Jul 4, '12 6:21am PST 
I wasn't even going to come in here, I will be crying before I finish this post. Bump had to be put down, in the ER on Friday April 13 at 11am, he had HCM, which Maine Coons are prone to, he was only 5 yrs old. He was diagnosed at 10 months old. I listened to the ER vet, they called in a Critical Care and ICU vet, just for him, when I called, and they were waiting for him. That vet talked to my vet on the phone, then I talked to her. I saw the pain in his face, I saw that he said, its time. As hard as it was, I knew I was making the right decision, for him, he asked his mommy to have the courage, to do the right thing.

I have seen Bump 4 times and I got to pet him 1 time. I knew he was telling me, he was OK, and I made the right decision as I was headed down the guilt trail too, even tho, they told me, there as nothing more that could be done. Bump did not want his mommy, who he loved very much, to go down the guilt trail.

You did not fail your cat. You saw a cat in need, and took him into your home, gave him love, food, and shelter, and you did the best you could in trying to help him. You saved him from going thru this, all alone, on some street.

I came in here, because none of us, wants you to feel, you failed him, you did not, you saved him from suffering all alone.

As I read your post, my gut told me, whatever was wrong, was too far advanced, and was going to happen anyhow, and there was prob nothing you could have done. He most likely had HCM and when it happens, it quick, fine one min, the next, they are not. I almost knew that awful day, have done extensive research on HCM.

My gut also told me, as I was reading your post, that Bump and Louie sent, that kitty, to you, so his last days would be in a loving and caring home, and not, all alone.

Thank you Bump and Louie, for helping that kitty, you mommy's miss you very very much.

(((((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))

Member Since
Purred: Wed Jul 4, '12 4:30pm PST 
Thank you all so much for the kind words, and stories. They hurt, but then so does anything related to her right now. My other two boys are comforting me as best as their little cat hearts can guide them to do, and we are grieving together. it gets a little easier every day, and even though Toby isnt here to pet and love on I know she is here in spirit. Thank you all for reminding me that despite how she died, she was a very loving and happy cat.


I'm Lizzie's- older evil twin- ;)
Purred: Thu Jul 5, '12 2:10pm PST 
Please don't blame yourself! You went above and beyond for Toby and she knows it! You not only gave her love but you also gave her a HOME for the last few months of her life! Thats more than alot of kitties get!cry Alot of people would've just left food and water out for her and thats it. In hindsight,it's easy to say what you think you should've done for her but whatever illness she had was probably to far progressed so there wouldn't have been much if anything at all that could be done for her. You took in a homeless kitty and didn't toss her out as soon as you found out she was sick. You're an angel! Please don't worry about her, Louie,Bump and I will take excellent care of her until you come to meet her again. In the meantime she'll be watching over you and the other kitties!wave

Many Purrs