|Purred: Sun Jun 6, '10 4:25am PST |
|Dr. Elsey's Urine Removal Program? Okaaay...right. Is this a 12-Step Program? If so, how might it be rewritten for cats with inappropriate elimination problems?
1.We admitted we were powerless over inappropriate elimination—that the lives of our owners had become unmanageable.
2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to using the litter box.
3.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of the Great Cat Goddess as we understood Her.
4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves and our inappropriate elimination problem.
5.Admitted to the Great Cat Goddess, to ourselves, and to another cat the exact nature of our wrongs.
6.Were entirely ready to have the Great Cat Goddess remove all these defects regarding inappropriate elimination .
7.Humbly asked Her to remove our other shortcomings as well (scratching the furniture, etc.).
8.Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9.Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10.Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11.Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with the Great Cat Godddess as we understood Her, praying only for knowledge of Her will for us and the power to carry that out.
12.Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other inappropriate eliminators, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
(By the way, this is not meant to be sacreligious. This is a parody of the mantra of all 12-Step Programs, which are quasi-religious because they had their origins in the Oxford Movement, a Christian movement in the pre-WWII years, which influenced AA, which in turn influenced all other 12-Step Programs.)
...Get with the program. Or don't.
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