Other Meows & Purrs > Guilt over SB


Purred: Sat Aug 14, '10 4:04am PST 
Hello everyone, I'm new so my apologies if this is in the wrong area. I was hoping for some advice on my situation.

Several months ago(~May) I started feeding a stray kitty that came around at night. I continued to feed him for several weeks though he wouldn't let me get close for a very long time. After a while I noticed he had started to limp, one of his back paws had a scratch on the pad. I didn't think anything of it, figuring it would heal after a while. After a couple of weeks his paw had not healed and his limp had changed to complete avoidance of using that leg so I decided to take him to the vet. After another week, I had gotten him comfortable with coming into my apartment and closed him in(since he only came at night, I had to trap him until the vet opened in the morning) He didn't appreciate being trapped inside but I gave him as much food, water, treats and loving that he wanted and I stayed awake the whole time to offer what comfort I could. I got him to the vet without any problems. When the vet checked him over, she noticed his lymph nodes were enlarged and ran the FIV test which came back positive. She told me that he was most likely so docile because he was sick and had been fighting off the infection for such a long time. I made the decision to have him put down since it was unlikely at best for the antibiotics to heal him and I didn't want him to suffer for a prolonged amount of time.

Even though I think the decision I made was right, I still feel terrible about it. Even now over a month after his death, I can't help but cry when I think of him. I can't seem to get over it. Does anyone have some advice?

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