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Grandad Conrad's Athletic School » Group Forum

Good afternoon - this is the Marmite-Twirling Class!!

  
RADDY (my- heart's- darling)

I am still my- Meouwmy's- Beloved....		 
 
Purred: Sun Sep 14, '08 5:14am PST 
Learn the rudiments of Marmite-twirling here (then you can go on to the secrets of the advanced class)

We also teach butter-burglary........
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Rocky

RIP old buddy		 
 
Purred: Mon Sep 15, '08 2:53am PST 
I am a budding basic butter burgular, but believe better butter burguling beats bungling...

Sign me up for marmite twirling and the butter burgling classes!

BooBoo

headed for the- light.		 
 
Purred: Mon Sep 15, '08 2:53am PST 
I want to learn about the mysterious Marmite!


RADDY (my- heart's- darling)

I am still my- Meouwmy's- Beloved....		 
 
Purred: Mon Sep 15, '08 3:17am PST 
Good morning class........we are a small class at present, but until more students arrive I will be able to give you one to one attention.......

Now first of all......have you been doing you tongue lengthening exercises? let me see....Rocky, you first......let me hear you shout 'Scots WaHaaaay' while you poke your tongue out as far as it will go!! Very good....but you must keep practicing......

Boo-Boo, you next.....come on - 'Scots WaHaaaay'......yes...that was excellent........

Now I will tell you a little about Marmite and also about butter burglary........

Marmite is a glutinous substance made from yeast....it is widely used in the Northern Hemisphere ie. Britain to put on toast and is often given to human children for their tea or their breakfast.......all this sounds innocuous enough BUT what is not widely known is that it has a strange opium-like effect on cats, and has many strange and wonderful manifestations.........this is why, although it is possible to twirl with other substances (I think someone mentioned peanut butter) the effect is NOT the same.......but more of that anon....

Butter burglary is an offshoot of marmite-twirling......once you have learned how to elongate and curl your tongue you will be able to have a quick slurp round the butter dish and the humans will not know it was you.....They will say 'Someone has been at the butter' 'Well, it couldn't have been Rocky or Boo-Boo. They were sitting much too far away'.........

Do you see the delights in store for you?

Keep practicing your tongue exercises until the next lesson.....

Grandad Conrad
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BooBoo

headed for the- light.		 
 
Purred: Mon Sep 15, '08 4:10pm PST 
Oh, we are excited, and twiddling our tongues as I type. We have almost convinced Meowma to order some Marmite for us... she is really not too terribly bad on some days!

rhymon- pearle- hedges-come- home

i demand a- shrubbery!!!
 
 
Purred: Mon Sep 15, '08 7:55pm PST 
sorry...sorry...got my leash tangled in the table legs but i'm here nowbig grini've been doing my "NINININININININININININI" most conscientiously...it seems to keep me company...whether i mean the "NI" itself or my tongue i'm not quite certainthinking
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the kaya- skye &- shyloh paige

mutant twincats- of michigan
 
 
Purred: Mon Sep 15, '08 7:57pm PST 
we're here...out of curiosity...and because we think it might help us in the meaningful meow...because actually we don't...meow that isshrug

this has been a fractured message from the mutant twincats of michigan
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RADDY (my- heart's- darling)

I am still my- Meouwmy's- Beloved....		 
 
Purred: Mon Sep 22, '08 8:24am PST 
Good afternoon students....I will do a roll call.......It seems we have Rocky, BooBoo, Simon Hedges and The KayaSkye and Shyloh Paige (which, it would appear, are a mutant twosome from Kalamazoo) Good Afternoon All...........

Now....it would appear that we have a new student...Lucy Mae by name........now no hissing or fluffing out your tails you other students!! Lucy Mae is a GOOD doggit and is a serious student interested in learning both Marmite Twirling and The Meaningful Meouw....so say 'Good Afternoon' nicely..........alright.......

Now all in line.....poke out these tongues and shout 'Scots WaHaaaaaay' as loud as you can......!!! Very, very good.........Lucy Mae.....that is a tongue to be proud of......although it does not QUITE reach behind the ears yet......keep doing the exercises........

Next we will learn some of the other movements necessary for the Twirling.......all lay on your backs.....elongate your tongues and imagine you are twirling a jar of marmite......twirl your tongue round two or three times and then make a throwing movement with it and imagine that you catch the jar in your back paws........do you start to get the idea.....?

Now, for a treat and an earnest of what is to come, I will give you each a teaspoonful of the Marmite.....just so you get some idea of its powerful effects........so poke out those tongues..........There!!!

For homework you must write a report on the effects you felt from the spoonful of Marmite I have just given you (it should make you feel really creative).........and if the effect is strong enough, please start to write a poem.....These reports should be in on my desk by post before the next lesson.....

Good Afternoon everyone.....

Lucy Mae.......please don't try to lick the other students....I know you mean well, but you almost knocked Simon Hedges over........and the Mutant Twosome....I saw you....you bopped Simon Hedges on the head in purpose......don't do it again...........!!!
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