Pet Rules

  
(Page 1 of 2: Viewing entries 1 to 10)  
Page Links: 1  2  
Matilda

Lots of licks- and sweet kitten- kisses!
 
 
Purred: Wed Aug 20, '08 1:54pm PST 
PET RULES

***To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.***

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The
other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help
because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that
sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years--canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
-------------
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door To All Non-Pet Owners who visit & like to complain about our pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur'niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter
who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
-------------------
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Usually come when called
5. Never drive your car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

***From the diary of a super pup named Cooper!***

*************

So what would you add to the list(s)?

Lots of licks,
Matty

Ollie

I'm not really a- GRUMP ;-)
 
 
Purred: Thu Aug 21, '08 10:10am PST 
laugh out loudlaugh out loudlaugh out loudlaugh out loudlaugh out loudlaugh out loud big laughbig laughbig laugh I LOVE IT !!!!!!!

Moonpye

I rule the house
 
 
Purred: Fri Aug 22, '08 6:17am PST 
These are so AWESOME dancingdancinglaugh out loud


Jackson

Jack jack- the prince of- pounce
 
 
Purred: Wed Aug 27, '08 5:37am PST 
laugh out loud

PeekABoo

Everybody loves- me!
 
 
Purred: Thu Aug 28, '08 3:44am PST 
big laugh Wonderful hail

♥Miss Sprinkles

Princess
 
 
Purred: Tue Oct 7, '08 6:52am PST 
That is so adorable! Mom lives by those rules, hehe!wink

Chloe

There's a new- princess in the- house!
 
 
Purred: Tue Oct 7, '08 9:16am PST 
How true!!! hail

Catalina

Queen Bean
 
 
Purred: Tue Oct 7, '08 12:00pm PST 
Those are rules to purr by!

Bridgette- "In loving- memory"

Survival Cat
 
 
Purred: Tue Oct 7, '08 3:18pm PST 
Well, kids are better and are very much more importent, but that was pretty funny. laugh out loud

Jasmon

Birds and- sunlight are all- I need
 
 
Purred: Wed Oct 8, '08 7:49am PST 
That was hilariousapplauseapplauseapplauseapplauseapplauseapplauselaugh out loudlaugh out loudlaugh out loudsmilesmilelaugh out loudlaugh out loudlaugh out loudlaugh out loud

  (Page 1 of 2: Viewing entries 1 to 10)  
Page Links: 1  2