Like Us
Follow @catster
Google +1 Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Contact Us
Pawprints on Our Hearts » Group Forum

I really need to talk about Lexi

  
(Page 1 of 2: Viewing entries 1 to 10)  
Page Links: 1  2  
Lexi (My- Dearest- Kitty Angel)

Sexy Lexi ; My- Lexi World		 
 
Purred: Sun Jul 29, '07 12:03pm PST 
It's been six weeks tonight since I last held my baby girl. Sometimes I think "it's only been six weeks - not that long ago" and yet when I think back, it seems like years ago. I am dealing okay with the grief and pain (at least I think) but I miss her more now than I did the first week. I find this need to think about her and talk about her, yet friends and family tell me to focus on what I have today and not dwell in the past. I have a great life now don't get me wrong - I have Loco (Lexi's brother) and a new kitten (Gabby) but without Lexi, the house still doesn't feel like a complete home.

Anyone out there want to swap stories? I would love to learn about your babies and share stories of Lexi to anyone willing to listen.

Teri
my page | msg me | gift me | become friends

Bixit Boseph- (taken too- soon)

Made fur- purrfection!		 
 
Purred: Sun Jul 29, '07 12:45pm PST 
I'm so sorry about your Lexi. I know people are only trying to be helpful by telling you to focus on what you do have, but none of that changes what you don't have: Lexi. And of course grieving for her doesn't mean you care any less for the other two kitties. It's not like you have a set amount of love that you have to distribute between those you care about. You love your kitties individually, and loving one with all your heart doesn't mean you can't love them all that much simultaneously.

I know what you mean about the time lapse. It either feels like forever ago or only yesterday.

I like and admire you because you are the type of person who grieves for the animals with whom you share your life. Many people were shocked at how upset I was when I lost Bixit in April of '06; not everyone, though. Someone even said they thought I "was on something." A coworker even said "I'm sorry about your cat," with a smirk on his face. It's difficult for those who don't have bonds with animals to understand the pain. It's real grief, and no one can ever get me to believe a cat is "just" a cat- even if the cat's not mine or anyone else's. Luckily, my closest friends, boss, and family understood. And, of course I have my husband who loved (loves) Bixit every bit as much as I did (do). He's a very outspoken, in-your-face kind of guy and he challenged any of his coworkers to talk smack about him crying over his cat. No one did. wink

I still miss my Bixit, I don't cry much any more, though. It doesn't mean I care less, it doesn't mean I've forgotten him. It only means the pain is subsiding, and that's what happens to grief.
my page | msg me | gift me | become friends

Lexi (My- Dearest- Kitty Angel)

Sexy Lexi ; My- Lexi World		 
 
Purred: Sun Jul 29, '07 3:22pm PST 
Thank you for your kind words. I read beautiful Bixit's profile and story and it was quite touching. You are correct that once you are touched by a very special little set of paws, that precious bond always stays with us.

Lexi too was taken way too soon. I would do anything to have had another year or two with her. Had I known we would be separated after only 11 months together, boy would I do things differently. (I have learned and am taking more pictures and video of Loco and the new kitten now). It seems so unfair that Lexi only lived 14 months and didn't get to experience everything that most cats do. I know she packed a lot into her short time here - she was always very inquisitive and not scared easily from new experiences - to this day she makes me proud. She was (is) stoic, brave, brillant, and compassionate and loving!

Lexi too was not without her share of difficulties as she was born the runt of her liter. Her siblings were all adopted before her perhaps because she was born with a common kitten virus - calicivairus. I found out a lot about this condition over our year together and we learned how to help her when it affected her. This virus impacts the immune system and during times of stress (like human herpes) it raises its ugly head. We got so good at diagnosing the first signs and providing her the needed medication I thought we had this thing beat. Unfortunately seasonal allergies came into play and with her compromised immune system caused a bleeding ulcer. She was brave and stoic and fought to survive through two blood transfusions and lots of medicine in the ER, but we were not able to stabalize her.

Six weeks - so little amount of time but yet such a long time period. I remember holding my baby and saying goodbye - she meowed faintly, I cried my eyes out and my husband burried his head in his hands at the prospect that I would lose my baby girl. It's gut wrenching to think about, yet comforting in an odd way that I was with her - the one person that loves her more than life itself. I know with time it will get easier, I just want to be sure that I am ALWAYS honoring her and her memory every day of my life. I feel like shouting to the world "you didn't have time to know her yourself because she wasn't here long enough damnit, but you should know about her - she is amazingly special in so many ways!"

Thanks for listening!
my page | msg me | gift me | become friends


Bee Jay (in- loving- memory)

Angel Kitty
 
 
Purred: Sun Jul 29, '07 5:16pm PST 
I can understand your need to talk about your dear Lexi. She was (is) an important part of your life.
I know that I still miss BeeJay terribly. The pain of his leaving is growing dim, but he will always be a part of my life. And when I read posts of other kitties passing or being ill, my tears are partly for them and partly for my BeeJay.
I have Bella, who is Mommie's little cuddle-cat, and Mufasa who was BeeJay's gift to me (he sent Mufasa to me) and I love them dearly, but they will never take BeeJay's place. So I can sympathize with you about missing your Lexi.
I am just glad that Catster gives us a way to not feel alone in our grieving of the loss of our fur-babies. I hope you realize that there are many of us out there that feel as you do.
I'm going now to light a candle for my baby, and I'll light one for you and yours too.
Purrrrs from BeeJay, who is keeping Lexi company at the bridge, and love from his Mommie
my page | msg me | gift me | become friends

Taz

Forever in- Mommy's Heart		 
 
Purred: Sun Jul 29, '07 5:23pm PST 
Your feelings are EXACTLY why I started this group. Taz has been going 14 or so months and I love Chester and Winnie with all my heart, but there is still a hole in my home, my life, my heart and no one in my life "gets it". I should have moved on, she was just a cat, get over it. I havent, she wasnt, and I cant!!!!!!!!!!

Please feel free to talk about her as much as you need or want to, that is the whole purpose of this group. To remember, to acknowledge that hole and to remind the world that our babies were and are part of us and just because they are gone we havent forgotten! The pawprints they left on our hearts will never go away!

((((((((((((((((((((((((Lexi's mom))))))))))))))))))))))

Love from Taz's mommy (something I will ALWAYS be)
my page | msg me | gift me | become friends

Bixit Boseph- (taken too- soon)

Made fur- purrfection!		 
 
Purred: Sun Jul 29, '07 5:56pm PST 
I wish I had more pics and video of Bixit, too. We have lots of Monkey and Smugg, now. We had one of BoBo (aka Bixit), but it got erased before we lost him. frown I'd really love to hear his voice one more time.
my page | msg me | gift me | become friends

Taz

Forever in- Mommy's Heart		 
 
Purred: Mon Jul 30, '07 8:58am PST 
Same here on the photos, most of Taz's life was pre-digital and I wasnt great about taking pictures because developing was such a pain. I have 10 hard copy photos and that is it, from 16 years *frown*

Poor Winnie and Chester are paying the price for that mistake, I am in their face all the time with the camera!!! *smile*

I miss her!!!
my page | msg me | gift me | become friends

Bixit Boseph- (taken too- soon)

Made fur- purrfection!		 
 
Purred: Mon Jul 30, '07 10:11am PST 
Oh, that's so sad. Only 10 pics? They must be your most precious pictures in the world! Not sure exactly how many I have of my BoBo, but I know there's gotta be at least 100 of Monkey and Smugg.
my page | msg me | gift me | become friends

Taz

Forever in- Mommy's Heart		 
 
Purred: Mon Jul 30, '07 1:05pm PST 
Yeah I kick myself for not taking more and from throwing out a bunch when I moved a couple years ago (while she was still alive).
my page | msg me | gift me | become friends

Abbie- (always in- my heart)

I'm fat, I'm- fluffy and I'm- full of love		 
 
Purred: Mon Jul 30, '07 3:22pm PST 
It has been nearly a year and a half since Abbie left for the bridge. I find that, on most days, my feelings are much more stable and I am less likely to break down in tears. But when it comes, it takes me by surprise, and almost feels more difficult to get over than when she first passed away.

There are still times that I think I see her out of the corner of my eye. Or I'll feel a heavy weight on my lap and realize that it isn't being occupied by anyone at the moment. I had such a long life with Abbie, and I know I am so fortunate. No matter the time we have with them, though, be it short or long, parting is impossibly difficult.

And there are so few people who really understand the intensity of my feelings toward Abbie. When I say she was my soul mate, people just think I'm loony. Most people. There are a few special, precious people who get me. And I count you all in that group of friends. For if it weren't for you, I would feel alone in my grief. And when I want to share those special memories of Abbie that make me laugh and smile, so many people just wonder why I can't move on with life. Of course, I have done that. And I have so many wonderful beings in my life who fill my days with joy: my daughter, my husband, my Binks and Matilda kitties.... but knowing that you all are here when I want to focus on Abbie, well, that is so comforting.

I, too, wish I had more pictures of Abbie to put online. I have countless volumes of photo albums filled with my sweet girl, but she was mostly pre-digital, also. One day, I promise to take a nice big handful of pictures of her, as well as pictures of Sasha, my other kitty in heaven, and get them scanned.

And Lexi's mommy.... you are doing well. It's the hardest thing in the world to lose a loved one. Having a support group and being able to focus on Lexi's wonderful memories will help so much. We are all here to help you and to hear your stories.

Jenna
my page | msg me | gift me | become friends

  (Page 1 of 2: Viewing entries 1 to 10)  
Page Links: 1  2