Meow - We'd love to share this portion of Catster with you, but first you'll need to login.
If you don't have a Catster account yet, you can register in about 60 seconds. Registering allows you to use all our free features while allowing us to create a safer, more meaningful environment for the community as a whole.
Registering is fast, free and lets you create your cat page(s), find adoptable cats, save your favorites, connect to your Feline Friends and more.
Now, kitties, for years and years and years my Mommy has gone on and on and on to Grandpaw about how mean he is because he used to hunt. What did he hunt, you ask? Why, vishus deer of course! Mommy said that the vishus deer were innocent creatures who didn't deserve to die but he disagreed, saying there were far too many of them.
I guess I am relatively safe from vishus deer since Grandpaw has slightly reduced their numbers over the years, but he did something truly terrible. Three of the vishus deer he murdered are still in my house! And what's even worse is that it's only their HEADS! They watch me all the time. Dutchess, do they pose a serious threat? They have been there ever since before I was born and I am 13 now, but I still worry. Grandpaw has since stopped hunting too, so I guess the vishus deer in Georgia are multiplying too! I'm glad I get to go live with Mommy when she is away at college because she'd never dream of ruining my life by mounting vishus deer heads around the apartment.
The thing I just can't understand is that Mommy still says Grandpaw was a meanie for shooting those vishus deer! She refuses to eat anything containing vishus deer meat! What is wrong with her? Have they brainwashed her?
Oh and I did see a real live vishus deer two days ago. It was in the woods behind my house. Grandpaw said it was pretty (he doesn't hunt anymore and likes to watch vishus deer now) and Mommy agreed. I was paralyzed with fear until it wandered away.
Ok everyone, don't freak out but it's Christmas and Rudolph the red nose raindeer will be ariving soon on many roof tops throughout the world. Don't worry though because he is a personal friend of mine. I always leave out deer pellets, in the form of choclate chips for Rudolph. Rudolph is aware of this visus deer watch you guys are into and he told me his feelings were hurt. He is so soft and gentle and he has big beautipuss eyes. Don't worry Im not a visus deer discuised as a cat but I am named Bambi... PUUURRRRR....
meowmie saw 7, count them, 7 vishus deer last night while walking to the lodge in our condo complex. they were all lit up and moving real slow like. luckily it was dark and cold and there were no tender joosy yung cats around.
I think Rudolph might actually be more dangerous than the regular vishus reindeer. His nose lights up. Ever think that maybe it's a laser beam? I mean, we all already know that regular vishus deer have laser eyes, so Rudolph could have laser eyes and a laser nose too!
You have VISHUS DEER HEADS in your HOUSE?????
Oh my... I DON'T have ANY personal experience with that one! THIS is VERY disturbing...
I will get on this new potential threat RIGHT AWAY as this issue may pose a DIRECT threat to you.
*paces*
Vishus deer heads... vishus deer heads...
OK- I think I know where to start.
Now RUDOLPH is another story!
You know how he got his name don't you?
Rudolph is the combination of 2 words and a sound.
RUE- meaning, to regret bitterly.
DOL- a unit for measuring the intensity of pain.
PH - or phonetically, "ffffffffffffffff" is the noise his red nose makes when he attacks.
Lucky Boo is correct in thinking that he is more dangerous than the regular vishus deer- I mean REALLY! Intensity of PAIN??? Bitter REGRET???? Sounds like a EXCEPTIONALLY DANGEROUS vishus deer to me.
I have come across some interesting yet terrifying research regarding his nose as well.
Dr. Gnapinze Pussenfuss (1978-1991), speculated that the oversized red glowing nose Rudolph the vishus reindeer was born with, was in fact not only a device that could provide him and his herd with an external light source for night hunts, but was an infrared, heat-seeking kitty locator! He would be able to locate any kitty outside or INSIDE a home right through the roofs he landed on! He could then relay the precise orientation of the kitties to the less-adapt herd on the ground.
JUST TERRIFYING I tell you!
Fortunately, Rudolph is ONLY active one night in an entire year. However, the devistation he can do to the kitty population in general is unimaginable! Having absolutely NO practical research experience with Rudolph myself, I can only guess that our safety can be secured on that fateful eve is by snuggling VERY closely with our human families as they sleep OR to get as close to a heat source as comfort will allow without scorching your whiskers. It may be possible to hide our body heat signature from Rudolph's IR nose if he reads the WHOLE heat pattern as one big household heat source.
I think evrybuddy's in agreemint that Bambi is in desprit need of an intervenshun. I think she's eether:
1) a vishus deer mole (given her name, this is the most likely)
2) insane/deluzhunul (put a stratejakkit on her and medikate her until she's normul), or
3) a stepford wife (the vishus deer men's klub replaced the reel Bambi with an android).
Frankly , it kinda kreeps me owt to have her arownd!
Hey, Dutchess -- "PH - or phonetically, "ffffffffffffffff" " is also the noise the vishus deers make win they are spitting owt the hare of joosy yung cats frum between thare teeths.
My Account
close
