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Vishus Deer can come in chocolate! We have one of those advent calendars where you open a window every day and get a piece of chocolate. When you take the chocolate out and turn it over, there is a picture on the chocolate.
Guess what the picture was today?
Yep - a Vishus Deer!
They are EVERYWHERE - be sure to check under the beds because one might be hiding in your house RIGHT NOW!
I found one in the closet!!! It looks like a shrub but it's made out of plastic and fake leafy stuff and is shaped like a deer!!! Mama hit a button and it started singing... I think it's like those siren things that sing beautifully but then will kill you!
RESEARCH UPDATE!!!!!
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VISHUS DEER ALERT for GOSHEN NY, 5:35 PM
Gordy has NOT been wearing the "fake" antlers for over a day now and a short time ago, Mom spotted a single vishus deer in the now harvested corn field looking across our yard and up at our house! The vishus deer ran off when it saw her, but ran AWAY from the area where the skeletal vishus deer are! Another interesting note- it did NOT try to hypnotize her with it's lazer beam eyes- not for one second.
This new sighting although terrifying, is VERY encouraging!
1) Gordy wears fake vishus deer antlers for a period of time, NO vishus deer sightings at all! Gordy takes antlers off, vishus deer return shortly after. There's GOT to be something there!
2) The vishus deer used to come up into the yard right next to the house. Since skeletal vishus deer have been out on the neighbors lawn, NO vishus deer have been seen ON the property. Again, something to that.
More studies to follow and I will keep you all posted...
Now, the terrifying news!
There is a species of vishus deer that live and breed in the tropics of Florida that many of you kitties may not know about. They are called VISHUS KEY DEER and I believe they are breeding with homeless, mentally captive KITTIES to reduce their sizes and to make their thinking capacities more like ours to better understand and hunt us down! The largest of these VKS stand about 28 inches at the shoulder. They inhabiat the Florida Keys and like alligators, have that taste for blood! Fortunately for us, this species of vishus deer is endangered and their numbers are few BUT humans are trying to SAVE them!!!! Brave kitties can see a *full grown* Skewer VKD here:
http://skydiary.com/gallery/chase2001/081001keydeerjim.jpg
Now, My ONLY reason for theorizing that the vishus deer may be breeding with kitties is that unlike the HEMMINGWAY cats, there are HUNDREDS of wild kitties living in the keys who haven't any humans to love and care for them. They have fallen victim many times to the vishus deer and have become tired of being food, therefore striking a reluctant alliance with the vishus deer to develop a breeding program that births TINY vishus deer with kitty thinking. It's a terrible plan because the poor kitties involved will soon learn that they can NOT trust a vishus deer under any circumstances and become the next meal once they have perfected the VKD size and mind.
Although I live in NY, I will do my best to learn more about the VKD in Florida. I have put out MANY requests for information to any kitty who has fallen victim to or has been terrifyied by a VKD.
To all my kitty friends, STAY SAFE, if you DO see a vishus deer, DO NOT try to watch it as you CAN be hypnotized into serving yourself up as dinner! Yes, it may be thrilling to see one, but be warned, these are VISHUS KILLERS that want nothing more than a young, juicy, tender kitty for dinner!
Lastly, do NOT try any of my experiments on your own! I am a middle-aged dried-up cranky kitty with lots of TOUGH meat on my bones. There's NOTHING young, tender or juicy about me! The odds are *slightly* in my favor.
Dutchess, we have other vishus deer in Florida, too. They are smaller than regular vishus deer, but bigger than the Vishus Key Deer that breed with the poor kitties. These In-Between Southern Vishus Deer are especially sneaky!! Rarely does anyone see one until they are just right THERE. Fortunately, they mostly live in pretty rural areas, so we probably don't have to worry about them too much right where we live. We were glad to read the update on these strange skeletal deer though. There are a lot of them in our neighborhood, and we weren't sure we should go out strolling with so many of them afoot.
Yeah Gimme,
I ***believe*** the vishus skeletal deer are safe. Perhaps they are not even alive anymore, but I can't confirm that as of yet. I mean, some kitties have reported that they can still move their heads so there's SOME function there. More studies are needed to be sure and keep every kitty safe.
Thank you for the information on the medium sized vishus deer. Perhaps that species is breeding with the Florida panther to reduce it's size and gain that "stealth-like" kitty sense??? They have been added to my ever-growing list of vishus deer studies.
As always, your best bet is to stay away from EVERY kind of vishus deer until further studies and confirmation can be made about their tactics, herd structure and vulnerabilities.
If you DO find yourself trapped by a herd of laser beam eyed vishus deer, DO NOT puff up, arch your back and get hissy- These actions get blood flowing through the veins making you MORE JUICY!!!!!! THIS is JUST what they want from us!!!!!
If you do find yourself surrounded, DO NOT look them in the eyes! Your best bet and likely only chance, is to nonchalantly walk away and pretend that they are not there. This will confuse them momentarily, as they are not accustomed to a kitty walking away and showing no fear. This will only work ONCE however and if you have encountered a herd that has already met up with a kitty who escaped using this trick, you will find yourself in grave danger! They will not be confused again- they are SMART and catch on quickly. They will know that you are really terrified, you blood is flowing and you are very, VERY JUICY.
If you find yourself confronted by the 'educated' vishus deer, RUN as fast as you can in ONE direction hoping the odds are with you- there's likely to be only ONE skewer vishus deer out there, and he can only be in one place at one time.
I wuz thinkin...if a vishus deer were to corenur me and my housemait Nikki kood I push her in front of me as bate? She is old and stringie and bichy and mite distrack the vishus deer so I can run away?
That might *not* work Mr. Echo!
The vishus deer like YOUNG, juicy kitties like me. You could *try* to bait the vishus deer, but I think they may leave the old geezer cats alone- they're all dried up and too stringy to eat...
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