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Going to the bridge tomorrow... How to prepare to cross?

Whether a cat dies, is lost or stolen, or must be placed in a new home, this is the place to gather together to give and receive love and support when you experience the loss of a beloved cat.

  
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Chimi

Chimi, Prince of- Cuteness
 
 
Purred: Wed Feb 23, '11 5:05pm PST 
Hello, everyone.

You see that gorgeous, wonderful tabby in the picture? That is Chimi. He has been in the family since we picked him up about ten years ago. Many things happened, and even though there were hard times, I believe he was truly happy.

We love him so much, everyone at home. It is hard to imagine life without Chimi now. I was a girl when I found him, and today I am an adult, almost 22 years old. A little over five years ago, however, Chimi was found to have Feline Leukemia. He had several ups and downs, but we came to think that he would last many, many more years with us.

But since about a year ago, his health was simply decayed too much. He has gum infection, and not even antibiotics were able to help him. Because our economical situation is really bad right now, we cannot do much more for him. He is suffering so much, and although it cost me months to accept it, tonight I finally decided, that Chimi doesn't deserve to keep enduring so much pain. He is not happy anymore.

Even right now, I still want to cling to the possibility of a miraculous recovery. Once already, when he first got really sick, we were going to do it, but the same day we were supposed to take him to the vet for the injection, he suddenly recovered. Since then, he was much stronger and even went back to his normal happy life. I was hoping, with all my heart, that the same thing would happen again. But I suppose that was very optimistic from my part...?

So, the question is, how do I keep the courage to do this, and then to endure the pain? Because I cannot imagine how life will be without Chimi by my side. He has been so much more than a pet. I have seen Chimi as my own family, my friend, my companion. I am sure you know what I mean.

I would like to hear from others who have been through similar situations. How did you manage to part with a loved cat?
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Alex (sweet- angel girl)

Angel on a- mission!
 
 
Purred: Wed Feb 23, '11 6:25pm PST 
Oh sweetie, I am so sorry you and Chimi have to go through this. There is no greater hurt for us than to lose our beloved fur children! Trust me, I know. For me, Alex was extremely sick with Triaditis (IBD, pancreatitis, fatty liver). I almost lost her a couple of times but she fought back and we thought for sure she was on the road to recovery. Then one day out of the blue, she developed a pancreatic infection so bad she didn't even make it to the ER. She made the decision for me but it doesn't make it any easier.

I have had to say goodbye to pets before and let them go the humane way. The question you're asking is the same one everyone has. How do you know when it's time? My kitty before Alex I had for 20 years. She developed rapid kidney failure and she didn't make it 2 weeks. The thing for me that made me say it was time, was that she couldn't really walk anymore, she was walking sideways and stumbling, she couldn't hold her bowels, she was hiding and not eating. That told me that no way could I let her suffer anymore, she was ready to go!

I don't know how Chimi is acting but honestly if you know in your heart that after all these years he's in a lot of pain and is miserable, then I think you already have your answer. As hard and excruciating this is for you, if you feel he has no quality of life left, then it's certainly not a good life.

It's really difficult for any of us to say for sure it's Chimi's time. But we can certainly empathize with you and be here for you every step of the way. There's nothing easy about this decision and there's nothing easy about falling in love with these babies and letting them go. It's torture. Please know that whatever you decide to do, it will be for the best for him, he KNOWS you love him and always will and we'll be here for you through the whole thing.

I'm so sorry, I wish I had the answers. I do have tears for you though. hug
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Ava 4 ever- Mommy's- Angel

Mommy's Angel
 
 
Purred: Wed Feb 23, '11 6:32pm PST 
The decision is so hard...there's never a right time....yet one day Mommy just "knew"...I gave her the "look".....something inside of her changed...a new force kicked in and she was able to put my needs before hers...especially after the 3rd night in a row of watching me unable to sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time. I just couldn't get comfortable...I only wanted to be near her....and I purred...but not those happy purrs....I purred as cats do when they are in pain...a self comforting type of purr....Mommy knew what she had to do. She stayed up all night and never moved so she wouldn't wake me....took me for my last 'stroll' around the house and yard....fed me salmon...which I turned down for the first time ever....took pictures....let me have my last day in the sun...my last nap on her bed...the hardest thing she has ever had to do. I purray you get the sudden strength to do what you need to do....it will be sad....but your heart will know it's right....Wishing you love and support, Kisses, Angel Ava
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Athena (In- Memory)

Purrs and Love- to Mom and- Toulouse

moderator
 
 
Purred: Wed Feb 23, '11 7:31pm PST 
I agree with what everyone here has said. There comes a time in the illness when you can see that from pain and sickness he is no longer fighting to stay alive, but only waiting to pass. That is when you have to be very brave, put his welfare ahead of your need, and let him go.

I would suggest saying most of your good-byes at home because once you get to the vet's office, things seem to move too quickly when you're still trying to deny what you both are facing. Hold him close and talk to him as he departs but know that his spirit is with you forever ... until you meet again.

You and Chimi are in our thoughts and purr prayers.

Purrs and Love,
Athena, Apollo and Aragorn
hughughughug

Delyte, Dark- Angel, at- Bridge

Me and my- person, together- against all
 
 
Purred: Wed Feb 23, '11 7:49pm PST 
This is Delyte. Our person agrees with everything said above, especially about being prepared once you are at the vets. It is so difficult, even if the kitty is clearly suffering and it is a one-way path. The only thing we can say is to think of Chimi being happy and pain-free on the Bridge, and being in touch with you from there forever.

And even though it may seem horrible and traitorous to think of it now, think about taking another kitty into your life when you can, because you can build up a bond with another kitty and make his/her life as wonderful as you did Chimi's. Everyone always says that the Bridge kitty will send you a new kitty and that you will know. The bond is different with every kitty, but it is there.

Giant saddest purrs to you from all of us at this very sad moment!
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Chimi

Chimi, Prince of- Cuteness
 
 
Purred: Wed Feb 23, '11 9:31pm PST 
Dear friends:

Thank you very much for your words. They are really helping me, and I agree with all that you have said. This is for the best, after all. He will finally be able to have peace again...

I should tell you that, curiously enough, this week two new cats appeared in our lives. One is a pregnant Siamese cat, and the other is a pure-black Angoran male cat. At times I come to wonder if they showed up at this precise time of my life to wake me up and tell me, "Hey, you have to let him go. Don't worry. We are here for you." They are very loving cats, both of them.

And I think of this, because they came to us. We didn't go after them. We opened the doors of our home, and there they were, literally, as if waiting for us. And they indeed are helping to make things a little easier, although no cat will ever be able to take Chimi's place. That is simply impossible. But I know, I am certain, that I will come to love them as much as I loved Chimi, and I will care for them as I cared for Chimi. I made that promise tonight, in Chimi's memory; and I am not going to fail him.

I think, and I want to believe, that I am being responsible, humane and considerate of Chimi by doing this. Even if it hurts now, even if it feels like I have betrayed him, even if it seems cruel. He does not deserve to suffer any longer. He deserves to rest in peace.
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SKIDS KITTY- gone, never- forgot

lil human on 4- legs
 
 
Purred: Wed Feb 23, '11 11:35pm PST 
Oh my heart breaks with yours, I am sorry Chimi has to go. I had to do this the first time for my kitty skids after almost 20 yrs with her she went into CRF. We had almsot a year with her knowing that the time was coming and like you I kept asking how will I know when it is time. It was the bond between me and skidds that made me know. I waited till she oculd not eat at all could not walk very far, I spent weeks by her side and I spent the entire last day on the floor with her so I could help her go where she wanted to go, she could no longer walk and barely held her head up when I let her go, I had peace but lots of pain when it was over. I also had to do this for my cat alley and I often wonder if I helped her go before she was ready, I took her in for her injection because the vet said it was about to get very painful for her she could no longer eat on her own but I would have assist fed her forever. So I ma saying either way there will be times you wonder if it ws too soon and other times maybe you wonder if you waitd to long. I think the best thing to do is follow your heart when you look into Chimi's eyes and then trust what your heart says. Purring and prayinn for you in the difficult time.
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Patch

Patch - wallpaper- stripper
 
 
Purred: Thu Feb 24, '11 8:00am PST 
I really feel for you and your poor kitty, I have been in this situation, and read it earlier but could not reply cos my eyes were full of tears. I am sending my deepest sympathies from England and hope that the journey to the bridge is peaceful for you both.

hug
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Merlin- >PAWS<- [In Loving

713682
 
 
Purred: Thu Feb 24, '11 9:24am PST 
This is Merlin's "woman." (He refused to call me "mom"!laugh out loud) Merlin remains a very special person to me, although he's been at the Bridge for almost 10 years now. Remember, when you cry, that you're crying for *yourself* and your own pain; your beloved Chimi will never again know pain - he'll be gloriously alive, absolutely healthy, and happy beyond anything you or I can even begin to imagine. And he'll be there, greeting you joyously, when the time comes; your love has guaranteed that he is yours forever.

On the first anniversary of Merlin's passing - his first bridgeday - I published a web page for him. The guest book is 44 pages long, filled with notes about how visiting the site helped a grieving human. There's a prayer there, appropriate for Chimi's departure or for the funeral. If you'd like to visit, the URL is http://www.angelfire.com/wizard/maerlyn/ If you visit, please sign his guestbook so I'll know you've been there.

May Chimi's Creator hold you gently and bless you with the faith and courage that you need to help Chimi, and then may He lead your heart to peace.hug
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Alex (sweet- angel girl)

Angel on a- mission!
 
 
Purred: Thu Feb 24, '11 10:02am PST 
That's how Alex came into my life. She wasn't a stray and it's a long story but she'd been in the family bouncing from house to house for awhile. She was our tenant's kitty when our tenant passed from cancer and nobody wanted Alex. I was JUST in the process of losing my kitty of 20 years Patches. I did not want another one but I couldn't bear the thought of Alex going to a shelter, I knew she'd never make it she was too sweet and timid. So she stuck to me like glue and we fell in love instantly. When she left me suddenly I was so devastated I stopped eating good and lost 20 lbs. and got sick myself. I couldn't have cared less. Then my vet found Finnegan at 2 months old on the side of the road. She tricked me into going to her office and then surprised me with him and I resisted by took him home. I know Alex sent both him and Lacey to him. That's what these babies do. They are spiritual guides and they know that if we've opened our hearts wide enough to them, we'll do it again for another fur baby. They're so smart. big grin
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