|Purred: Fri Apr 9, '10 11:10am PST |
|A friend sent this to me and its too cute to not share...
TO BE POSTED VERY LOW ON REFRIGERATOR DOOR, AT PET NOSE LEVEL: Dear dogs and cats, The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find it aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a race track. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesnt help because I fall faster than you can run.I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry for this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort.Dogs and cats can actually curl up into a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.For the last time, there is no exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, its not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years--canine or feline attendance is not required.The proper order is... kiss me... then go smell the other dogs or cats butt... I cannot stress this enough! To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our door. TO ALL NON PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:1. They live here... you don't. 2. If you dont want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. Thats why they call it 'fur'niture. 3. I like my pets better than I like most people.4. To you they are animals. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and dont speak clearly. Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because:1. Eat less 2. Dont ask for money all the time. 3. Are easier to train.4. Normally come when called. 5. Never ask to borrow the car.6. Dont hang around with drug using friends.7. Dont smoke or drink. 8. Dont have to buy the latest fashions. 9. Dont want to wear your clothes. 10. Dont need gazillion dollars for college, and... 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children. Hope you enjoyed this.
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