|Purred: Sat Mar 15, '08 12:16pm PST |
|Some things to think about:
1. It's possible that Angel died for reasons other than that you have suggested. He might have had a pre-existing condition that was not caught by regular vet exams, and that did not become problematic until well into surgery. Unless they told you for a fact that Angel went into respiratory failure during surgery, you might be accusing the SPCA unfairly out of your own anger and loss.
2. If you are that incensed and saddened over the loss of your baby, getting a new cat is not the answer to your grief. From your insistence on getting a cat that looks exactly like Angel, it sounds like you are just trying to avoid dealing with the loss and its resulting grief, and think getting another cat might help you numb those feelings. It wouldn't, and so you would be doing yourself and any cat you'd adopt in that state a disservice. You should be taking time to have a few crying sessions about this. After that, have some more.
Grieving is not an easy process. We go through: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. You seem to be stuck back and forth in the anger stage (How could this happen!) and bargaining (If I got another cat who looks just like Angel, maybe I wouldn't hurt so much). You'll need more than two weeks to be able to accept losing your Angel, since it sounds like you were bonded to him as if he were a human child (mom totally understands that, I am her cat child, she says). That is very salient. Ask yourself this: would you feel ready to have another human baby if one that you already had just died two weeks ago? Just because Angel happened to be a cat, your answer should not necessarily be different. Giving yourself more time to grieve might not look like it now, but it is the best gift you can give yourself. Given that time, you'll be able to stop dwelling on the bad memory of how he died, and focus on all the happy memories in between. And then, you'll be ready to create new memories with another cat.
Edited by moderator Sat Mar 15, '08 12:58pm PST
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