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Do we open our hearts again?

If you are wondering what is the right cat for you, this is the place to be. In this introductory forum we talk about topics such as breed vs. mix, size, age, grooming, breeders, shelters, rescues as well as requirements for exercise, space and care. No question is too silly here. This particular forum is for getting and giving helpful, nice advice. It is definitely not a forum for criticizing someone else's opinion, knowledge or advice. This forum is all about purring and learning.

  
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Mew (In- LOVING- Memory)

loved more than- anything in this- world
 
 
Purred: Sun Feb 4, '07 5:56pm PST 
In about 3-4 weeks, we are supposed to meet a siamese girl who is currently in foster care, nursing her 7 kittens. The issue is we lost our baby girl, Mew on Friday night. Do we keep things the way they are and still agree to meet with this little girl? Or do we graciously decline? Right now, it almost feels like we are 'replacing' Mew but originally, our intentions were to add another little heart into this family. Any suggestions?
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Sapphire

The epitome of- bad hair day
 
 
Purred: Sun Feb 4, '07 6:08pm PST 
Aw, Mew's Mom, I'm so sorry that Mew had to go to the bridge cry
I know that Mew had a very special place in your heart, one that another kitty will never be able to fill. It really depends on what you feel in your heart, you can go see this siamese girl and if you decide to adopt her, maybe she can make your grieving a little easier. I do foster work with some very young and sick kittens, if I didn't have my cat Sapphire there with me when I lost one, I don't know if I would even still be doing this. There are some times when you need a furry "kid" to bury your face in and just cry.
It won't hurt to at least see the siamese gal, if you feel it is too much, than you shouldn't feel bad or guilty about it, you may not be ready for a while.
Again, I'm sooo sorry for your loss of little Mew.
Good luck,
Sapphy and mom
wishes
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Boomer- 10/30/1972 - 2/20/1996

World\'s best- kitty, Queen of- the house.
 
 
Purred: Sun Feb 4, '07 6:17pm PST 
I'm sorry you lost Mew.

If it is any help, Mom felt much the same way when I died at age 23. She NEVER thought of "replacing" me, because I was definitely irreplaceable. But she thought I was so very special, that I deserved a successor. Arnold is my successor. All kitty angels should have one!

Purrrring for you.
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Barkley (5/5/95 - 2/2/09)

It's all about- ME!
 
 
Purred: Sun Feb 4, '07 6:50pm PST 
We're so sorry that you lost Mew. Our family lost a kitten to FIP and it was devastating. We'd encourage you to see this new kitten. Mew can't be replaced...and Mew would want you to give another kitty a good home when you are ready. Whatever your decision, we wish you the best!

Barkley, Carson & Griffey
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Binks

Little boy in a- cat suit
 
 
Purred: Sun Feb 4, '07 6:51pm PST 
Sapphire and Boomer's mommies said it so well, that I don't know what I can add. Only that I am so sorry that you lost your sweet Mew.

I think you should meet the other kitty, not with the intention of replacing a kitty who is irreplaceable, but to give another kitty an opportunity to know that kind of love. In return, she might help you not hurt so much and will most certainly add more love to your household.
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Cole

Anything- Goes
 
 
Purred: Sun Feb 4, '07 8:33pm PST 
Wise words, all you good catsters who responded.

My CT (CareTaker) unfortunately had this type of dilemma. The fact that you know dear Mew is special and is not being "replaced" is important. Also, the fact that you are open to considering a new family member at this time is important. Your minds are not closed.

Yes, I agree it would be good to see the kitty ...knowing that you have room in your heart for both the love of a kitty who may need you very much and also for the memory of Mew.
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Heidi ~ In- Loving- Memory

Forever in- Loving Memory
 
 
Purred: Sun Feb 4, '07 10:06pm PST 
I can only agree with all the lovely words of the other's.
If you feel it's right, go and meet the new kitty and then let your feelings guide you. If it's too soon, it's too soon, there's nothing wrong with that. If you're ready, another kitty will be very lucky!
When I passed away, I had b een Mom's only Cat, she adopted me when I was about 3.5 as a stray. Mom's Mom was ill with Alzheimer's, when I went to the Bridge, so, Mom was alone.
I was so glad when she decided to give another Cat, and then a kitten a home and a chance at a wonderful life. She wasn't replacing me, impossible, she was sharing her home and love, with 2 other kitty's, who were very special in their own ways, and they were helping her to be less lonely.
Heidi
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Arthur (Miss- You!- '93-'09)

Bucket of Fuzz

moderator
 
 
Purred: Sun Feb 4, '07 11:08pm PST 
Only you can decide for sure if you're ready to bring a new feline member into your family. Losing a family member is very painful, and you do need a chance to heal.

Mew can never be replaced--she will always be a part of you! But your bond with her helped you to expand your capacity for love, which provides for any new feline members you adopt into your family in the future. I wouldn't see this as a reason to feel guilty, but as a testament to the special love that Mew and you shared.

I agree with the others, meet the kitten. If your pain is still too fresh and you're really not ready, you'll know. But if you feel that you can love this kitten, don't feel guilty because that love is Mew's gift to you.

Whatever you decide, we're with you and sending comforting and healing purrs in your time of grief.

*PURR*

Edited by author Mon Feb 5, '07 12:48am PST


Mew (In- LOVING- Memory)

loved more than- anything in this- world
 
 
Purred: Mon Feb 5, '07 3:13am PST 
Thank you ALL for the wonderful advice. It all makes perfect sense. I know that Stella would love to have another sibling around the house. She's lost without her Mew.
We'll treat as we were going to all along. If we 'fit' with each other, then we'll of course consider it. This Siamese girl needs to like us, too!
I trust that Mew and I were so close that she would understand we weren't trying to bring someone in to take her place, but to give another soul a chance to be part of a family.
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Winnie

Where are my- tummy rubs huh?
 
 
Purred: Mon Feb 5, '07 7:33am PST 
Chester and Winnie's mommy here...Losing a cat is the worst pain, I put my 16 year old Taz down in May and I still cry to talk about her (as the tears start), you don't forget them, you never stop missing them and I disagree it gets better with time. I went through what you are going through when I started looking, how could I replace my best friend ever. What everycat on here is telling you is the reality...you cant EVER replace them, but once you bring another cat (or two in my case) into your life you do realize there is space in your heart to love them, it is NOT the same space the previous cat had!!!! That will always be theirs. But to turn your whole heart off cause that part is hurting cheats you of a lot of love. I adore Chester and Winnie (who I adopted in June) and am so glad I got them, but they wont ever be Taz!!!
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