Male vs. Female (which should I choose?)

If you are wondering what is the right cat for you, this is the place to be. In this introductory forum we talk about topics such as breed vs. mix, size, age, grooming, breeders, shelters, rescues as well as requirements for exercise, space and care. No question is too silly here. This particular forum is for getting and giving helpful, nice advice. It is definitely not a forum for criticizing someone else's opinion, knowledge or advice. This forum is all about purring and learning.

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I'm the baby
Purred: Tue Oct 31, '06 1:17pm PST 
We are bringing home a new baby in less than two weeks and I need help deciding if we should get a boy or girl! The breeder that we are getting them from has said that ALL of the kittens have outgoing, friendly personalities and that I can choose which ever kitten I would like. We already have a boy kitty and I wonder if he would get along with one sex better than the other. Does anyone have any advice or insight to my problem? Would two males fight more over territory? Diesel is getting neutered the week before our baby comes home but how big of a difference does that actually make? Please help!! Any advice is appreciated!

Delyte, Dark- Angel, at- Bridge

Me and my- person, together- against all
Purred: Tue Oct 31, '06 1:50pm PST 
This is Delyte. My person was told that having two males, even if they are neutered, will lead to some fighting over dominance, from mild to wild, depending on the individuals. So she thought that it would be best for us to get a female kitten for our household. When there are one or more males, introducing a female means that she will be dominant, because the males remember their mother, and allow her to be in charge.

There is also cross attachment to people. Male animals usually become more attached to female people and vice versa. This is more intense with dogs but it seems to happen in cats too. The girl kitten worships my person's boyfriend and follows him around, even though he is allergic to cats and does not feed or pet her. [He does bring in all our kitty litter and take out the dirty stuff, but I am not sure either of us appreciate him for doing that. If it wasn't for him there would be no cats here!]

I think you should check the kittens yourself and see which one appeals to you the most, because it probably isn't true that all the kittens in the litter have the same personality. Also think of the personality of your resident cat. I have to say that bringing in a wild and frantic lady kitten has not made me, the big shy recluse, entirely happy, although I am willing to play with her occasionally.

Good luck with your new kitten!

Blade- (2000-2010)

Purred: Tue Oct 31, '06 4:13pm PST 
From Diesels point of view, my mums noticed that I get on better with any females I meet and am not upset if they come into our garden - just curious. You're still very young so I'd go for another female.

Edited by author Tue Oct 31, '06 4:15pm PST


Edward Wong- Hau ... the- 4th

Just wait till- you sleep....- ;-)
Purred: Tue Oct 31, '06 4:30pm PST 
to be honest, the gender of the cat wont make a huge difference in the long run. it generally depends on the preference of the owner. delyte (did i spell that right?) has many wonderful great points.

for picking out a puppy, my mom and her boyfriend talked about male or female and decided on female, even though i am female and alpha. they chose female because thats what they are most familiar with. mom's had mostly female pets and finds them easier to raise and train (potty training). several people suggested getting a male because i am alpha female, but in the end they all said to pick what we were most comfortable with and prefered more.

anyway, keep what delyte said in mind, and go visit them all. at least one of them is gonna claim you in some way. you'll know who you want... or at least who you dont want by the time you leave.

in the end, whoever you pick, regardless of personality or gender will be happy to have such loving and concerned parents. much luck and love in the future *purrs*


Live to Play,- Play to Live
Purred: Tue Oct 31, '06 9:36pm PST 
When my Mom was deciding she wanted to get a second Cat, especially, as a friend for my Sis Gracie, she talked to her Vet. He said the opposite sex pairings are sometimes less stressful, but, it basically comes down to the personality of the Cat. Since the kittens are so young, that's going to be hard to judge, but, if they all seem well socialized and outgoing, I'll bet sex won't be a big issue and it's who wins your Humans heart that will be coming home.
p.s.: Gracie and I, of course, are both girls. We get along wonderfully. I'm the more outgoing, Gracie is shyer, especially with strangers, but, we both love to play, and make sure that Mom toes the line!


Live to Eat
Purred: Tue Oct 31, '06 9:38pm PST 
We dont think you should pick a sex of a kitten or cat if you are not sure, you should let the kitten or cat pick you, this would work best.

There is no proof as to one sex being better than an another it just comes down to personal prefence, some people have already been raised all their life with a male dog or so on so this is what they tend to stick with.
We have 2 male cats in the houe and myself 1 female, we also have 1 female dog too.
Both male cats get onr rather well yet I am a trouble maker, We all give each other a bit of a smack every once in a while, its just being a cat. Mums said that cats in rescue have shown desexed male cats usually get on better with one another than females. Both female and male cats will attached to either a female or male human, just depends on how the human acts with you.

Hope my info helps.
Please let us know how you get on.

Orca The- Killer- Kitten

It's a tux thing
Purred: Tue Oct 31, '06 10:32pm PST 
My brother and I are the only kitties in the family and we have gotten along great from day one. When mom was looking to get another cat she was told that it really didn't matter if it was another male. What matters more is the personality of the kitty. If you get one male and one female and they both have domianet personalities you will have the same problem with fighting as you would if it is two males. Mom knew that I am the Alpha cat and so she tried to make sure that she found someone who didn't mind being second fiddle around here. Mom also says that she has found a preference with male cats over females. That the males seem to be a little bit more affectionate where the only two kitties she had that were female considered mom a threat

Missy, my Perfect Angel Kitty

Tears in Heaven
Purred: Tue Oct 31, '06 10:57pm PST 
like the others said, choose based on kitty's personality....and if you have a connection with that kitty.

good luck!


Meeki Mackey
Purred: Wed Nov 1, '06 12:33pm PST 
i have 5 neutered males. none of them have ever fought. at first there was some hissing but now they get along fine. i think if they're all neutered, terrority and marking becomes less important.

Edited by author Wed Nov 1, '06 12:36pm PST



Purred: Wed Nov 1, '06 4:00pm PST 
I have a boy kitty and a girl kitty. This is purely anecdotal since it's just two cats, but my female is much more territorial than the male. I have a stronger bond with Raoul, our male cat, but my daughter is our female cat Mia's favorite person. So I agree with the other posters - go by the individual cat's personality.

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