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Timo's Tall Tales

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Free Potty Training!

January 4th 2011 4:25 pm
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So here I am on Catster, the place for CATS. And Catster welcomes me with an invitation to attend a free Potty Training Seminar, MOL. Well, I don't use a pot, I use a box. And I don't need any training on how to use my box. I'm quite good at it. It's pretty simple. My fur-Mom showed me when I was a wee kitten and I caught on really fast. You find the box or some other loose material, dig a hole large enough to hold your stuff, you 'go', then you cover it all up. The last part is actually optional. Sometimes I don't cover up, especially the stinky stuff. That way it serves as an alarm clock for Mom.

Mom says the training is for dogs. Really? ROFL, do dogs have to learn how to go pee and poo? Wow, dogs are even dumber than I thought. I'm not too fond of dogs myself. Can you tell? Maybe I should go to the Potty Training class and give them dogs some pointers. I'll think about that.

Going to use the box now,


A serious topic

January 10th 2011 7:30 pm
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We are so sad about what happened in Tucson, Arizona. I am not going into details because there are kids on this site and everyfur already knows. Why is there so much craziness in the world? Why do humans do this to other humans?

We heard that they are using a CAT scan to find out how to make the lady all better again. Wow, we cats are good for everything. Mom says she has never had a CAT scan and she doesn't know what that is exactly. We think she has many CAT scans every day.

I know, I shouldn't even joke about this. We are praying for
those that got hurt and those that had to make their journey to heaven and for their families. Special prayers for the lady and the family of the little girl.

Sad purrs,



January 30th 2011 2:23 pm
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I've been tagged by my very good friend Moose.

Here is what I am supposed to do.

Name the 5 most annoying things your human does, then tag 5 friends. Here's a few of my Human Pet Peeves....

1. I don't get enough food. Period. It's always gone too fast.

2. Sometimes Mietzi gets to eat in the laundry room and Mom closes the door so that Mietzi can "eat in peace". Very annoying.

3. When Mom gives us Greenies, we get only three pieces. Yes, count them, just three. I'm not supposed to eat dry food or snacks because the Crystal Chick had visited me twice. But Mom, that was years ago, and it was when I was eating only kibble.

4. When Mom sleeps too long, I like to wake her up by licking her hands. It's annoying when she puts her hands under the blanket.

5. Sometimes Mom puts me on a baby scale. I don't like it. I'm a handsome man cat. Who cares about the exact number of pounds and ounces?

Now I am going to tag 5 friends and hope they haven't played this yet.

1.Molly 57585
2.Rumpy Bump (Stumpnots)
3.Kaci Sunshine
4.Oreo 1153194


The Riddle

February 26th 2011 1:37 pm
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Friends, I need some help figuring this out. I overheard Mom say some strange things. What could she be talking about? Here is what I heard:

A week ago it was two ninety-nine.
On Tuesday Mom really needed some but because it was Xpensive with three Oh seven, she only got a little bit.
On Wednesday Mom kicked herself for not getting more because now it had gone up to three seventeen.
On Furrsday I overheard Mom talking that it is just outrageous and how do they Xpect people to be able to afford it. And three twenty-five was just way too much.

There was alot of grumbling and mumbling and Mom didn't look happy at all. Whatever it is, there seems to be some gas involved. It can't be me. I haven't been gassy lately. I admit, sometimes a tiny amount of gas escapes me. But I don't think it's enough for any of the women in my house to notice.

Now I have noticed that we are a little short on cat food. I hope that she is not talking about cat food. I have been asking for seconds a lot lately. Oh please let it not be cat food! Well, I guess I could cut down a little bit if it would help Mom out.

What could Mom be talking about? Any ideas?


Happy Dance - I'm a DDP

March 8th 2011 5:27 pm
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Whoo Hoo. I did a little happy dance when Mom finally turned the puter on for us. I'm a DDP today and Mom didn't tell me! That woman! I'll need to run an advertisment for a new secretary. This one is slacking off on the job.

Big Harry from the Friends of Blind Cat Rescue Group made a really cool picture for me. Do you see it? I love it. Thank you Big Harry.

Thanks to Eddy and family for the rosette. It looks fabulous on my fur.
Also thank you to Adam Dylan and family for the green hat. What a neat present.
Thank you to Hazel Lucy and Buddy who stopped by to concatulate.
Also thank yous to
my good friend Molly (yes Molly, some friends and I are still working on the poopie gas idea. It's coming together nicely I think),
Kaci Sunshine - you're my Sunshine on this rainy day,
and last but not least **drum roll** the original Newmie - Mr. Newman himself.

It's been a rainy day here in Iowa. I slept most of the day. Mom bought a new bag of bonbons yesterday. They were on sale because petsmart isn't gonna sell this kind any more. by Nature organic or something like that. They're delicious. I LOVE bonbons but I'm only allowed to have a few or that Crystal chick will come and visit me. I'll go now and beg for some bonbons. You all have a good night.


Paw Script: thank you Diary Girl for picking me. You're pawsome. Love you. Kisses, Timo


Where is my dog?

March 9th 2011 4:11 pm
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OK I want to know where Mom is keeping my dog. I didn't know we had one but there must be one around here somewhere. We got these Q-Pons in the mail from the petstore. And they are for dog food. This isn't the first time that they've sent us Q-Pons for dog stuff. Mom opened them and was saying something like how interesting.

So if Mom thinks Q-Pons for dog stuff are interesting then she must be keeping a dog somewhere. Maybe he's in the garage or in her office? I would like to meet the pooch. Maybe it's a she dog. Is he/she big or small, nice to cats or not so nice.

Mom, I want to meet my dog. Not nice of you to keep him from me. I think Mietzi speaks a little dog. She could translate.

Your Timo


iPad2 is here

March 11th 2011 5:13 am
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I got an email that the new iPad2 is here. Well, actually Mom got the email. Don't tell her, but I read her emails when she's not here. I already have pads on all my paws but these new ones are thinner, lighter and faster. I wonder if I should get some. That would make me run faster and I would feel lighter I guess. And maybe I could jump higher too. Pawsome.

I'm gonna ask Mom to order four. One for each of my paws.
Soon to be running as fast as the wind,


More musings on iPad2s

March 12th 2011 8:06 am
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My furriends are so smart. As I said yesterday, I was interested in getting new pads for my paws because the new iPad2 came out. The Trout Towne Tabbies pointed out that the pads might be like shoes and once I wear shoes I might have to wear a suit too. If they are like shoes I can't wear them because I never wear socks. And am not going to wear a suit either! I have this old, striped sweater that I wear all the time and I just love it. It fits well and it’s so comfurrtable. You know us men. When we find a sweater that we love, we’ll wear it until it falls apart. So no suits for me.

Kaci Sunshine pointed out that the pads that I came equipped with have been well tested over thousands of years and proven to be very durable and effective. She’s right. These same pads that I’m wearing have been worn by cats in old Egypt who were adored as godlike creatures. And they are worn by cats in icy Siberia and in the hot desert. Who knows how good the new iPad2s would hold up to Iowa snow or scorching sun. And what if I have to walk thru water? Would that ruin the new iPad2s?

Kaci Sunshine also warned me that purrty soon my new iPad2s would be obsolete and there would be iPad3s. And then I’d want to upgrade to them and then to the iPad4s and so on.

Well, I admit, I got carried away by the hype. You know how it is when you see a new toy that you think you absolutely HAVE to HAVE. And then the advertising purromises if you get it, you’ll be happier and all the girl kitties will find you irresistible with your new toy. So I’m gonna keep these old, well-worn pads that I have right now. This same design has been worn by Royal cats in Egypt. If it was good enough for them it’s good enough for me.

Going for a walk now enjoying my old paw pads,


Cat of the Day and a nightmare (updated)

March 16th 2011 4:05 pm
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I'M CAT OF THE DAY! I just found out now at 6:04 central daylight savings time. Wow, I'm speechless. Thank you for all the gifties and emails and comments. I LOVE MY FRIENDS.

I'll write more later and tell you what the nightmare was.


*** U P D A T E ***
When Mom got home from work she found out that I'm COD. I was so excited. I've never been COD before. What I didn't know at that time yet, was that a very dear friend had made her journey to the Bridge today. Miss Hazel Lucy is the sweetest Angel ever at the Bridge. We are so sad. Mom can't stop crying. We love Hazel Lucy so much. We'll love her until we see her again.

I wrote my original diary title when Mom came home: Cat of the Day and a nightmare. I didn't know about HL when I wrote that title. That is a nightmare indeed. It seems unreal that sweet Hazel is not here any more.

I was going to tell you about a different nightmare. Mom had one last night. She dreamt that she gave me away to the Shelter! In her dream she just couldn't deal with having us cats any more. Then a day later she realized what she had done and was afraid the shelter might send me to the Bridge. And she desperately wanted me back. She couldn't believe that she had given me away because she loves, loves, loves me and missed me terribly. So she was gonna go, no RUN, to the shelter to get me back. And that's when she woke up. She was SO glad to see me and I got kisses and hugs and cuddles. Mom would NEVER give me away. Don't know where that silly dream came from.

Mom is still crying, so I better stop now. Enjoy each day with your family. Love each other. Forgive each other.

We will say a prayer for Hazel Lucy and her Mom tonight.


Thank you so furry much

March 20th 2011 4:13 pm
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Here are the long overdue thank you notes from my Cat of the Day event on March 16th. It was a lovely day in the lower 70s and I got to go outside for a few minutes after Mom got home from work.

I am honored that so many friends stopped by. Thank you to everyfur who brought gifts and treats, made comments in my diary, sent pawmails, sent friend requests. Most of all I value just being your friend. It doesn't always have to be an expensive gift. Big hugs to all of you. Here are all the furrs who brought gifts:

Monida – Adopt a Pet ribbon

Family of Samoa – Leprechaun Hat and a Heart

Grace – Shrimp

Da Tabbies O Trout Towne – Four-leaf clover

Family of King Simba, Tidge, Jet (Angel), Zachariah Herbert – a yellow Star

Family of Oly, Mercy, Noah, Petrie, Oliver, Shamus (Angel), Rico, Petals, Calvin, Ginger Lee, Alexis (Angel), Sadie Mae, Sam - a Pot of Gold and a dancing kitty

Family of Zeeke, Romeo, Cleopatra, Trooper, Kahless, Harley, Davidson, Miyoko, Tomiko, Francis & Kibbles, PJ, Poocat (Angel), Tigger (Angel), Fozzy Bear, Zelda, Mishka, Onyx (Angel), D.C., Toes – a yellow Star

Family of Luke, Tully, Sammy, Natasha - Leprechaun Hat

Family of Kaci Sunshine, Miss Mittens (Angel), Abby (Angel), Pete (Angel), Jennifer (Angel), Callie (Angel) - Four-leaf clover

Family of Humphrey Lee Haunted, Roger Bleu, Greta (Angel) – Trophy and some neat balloons

Special thank you to Big Harry, The Bush Furrs, and Samoa for making me Cat of the Day pictures.

Hope I didn't forget anyfurr. If I did please forgive me. It was not on purrpose.

Love you all,

Paw Script: another gift just arrived. Opening it now. It's from ..... Xena Princess Warrior, Queen Tallulah (Angel), Zeke, Kandi, Princess Tu Two, Mia, Milo. It's a .... Adopt a Pet Ribbon. Thank you.
Kitty kisses,

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Timo Katze - DB #105


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