Haz yu ebber stawted doin' fings yu haz nebber dun afore an' it make yer mommie wunner "watt up?"
Well, dah kitties dat usetah libbs here afore Olibbers an' me usetah beez dah kindah kitties dat likes to snoogle reeeeel tights up to mom. Howebber, Olibbers an' I purrrrfurrrrs to maintains sum distanz an' nut awlaways bee stickin' tah mum likes gloo.
I nut shur whys, but dah pass foo weeks I haz bin wantin' tah burrows unner mom's cubbers ebbery nite an' spoons her. I kin see dat she like dat. An' wen I duz it, she gibb me ALOTTA nice pettin' an' sweet tawkin'. An' Olibbers, he nebber ebber haz like tah burrows, so he bin curlin' ups ebber so cloze to her so she kin skweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeze hims an' sniffs hiz furrs. He berry tollerablull uv dah sqkweezin'.
So, watt I haz lerned iz dat sumtimes iffin yu duz fings dat make yer mum happies an' makez her eyes glizzen wiff joys, she wills gibbs yu xtra lubbin' an' it will makes yer harts burst wiff luvs.
Some nice kitt nayme Annie Moose sended me a giftie dah udder day. Annie sedded dat she hoped my puddin' poopies was bedder. My poopies is awl bedder so fanks to ebbery kitty dat purred fer me an' my bruffur..... An' fanks fer dah giftie Annie.... Dat werr reeeeal nice.
An' I fink we haz figgured owt watt mightah cauz dem puddin' poopies. Mom t'aught fer a long time dat it mite haz bin dah new bag uv foods. But now she fink it werr sumfing else.............
Minnie Marshermeddle mightah dund it. Yesserday, mom werr finkin' uv dah night she werr dwinkin' sum hot chalkolate in beddie wish dem marshermeddles. Oliver an' I werr eatin' sum uv dem. Dey werrz deeeeeeeeeeelishus. We eated quites a foo uv dem. We dint eats whole marshameddles but bits an' peeses. Howebber, iffin' yu add ups dem bitts an' peaces.... dey mite adds up to quites a foo marshameddles...
Fer dah lifes uv me, I canno' unnerstand de obseshun dat hoomans habb wiff stickin' fings up cats butts wen we goes to dah v-e-t. Can a kitty ebber go dare wiffowt beein' violetted???
Oliver an' I hadded to go see Dr Kim today acuz I iz still habbin' Puddin' Poopies. Oliver, he wented mozley acuz he iz still lickin' an' sckwatchin'.
We habbent loseded enny weight, so dat be good. Owr tempiatures is nermal. All dat wrong iz Puddin' Poopies.
So we iz on sumfing cawled Pwobioktics. Both ah paste an' sum powder on sum wets foods. I kin be a bit purrrrrskikity 'bout my foods, so we will see juss how longs I tolerates dis.
Wunce agin Dr Kim tawk sweet to me an' so did Mizz Roberta. Howebber.... I dunt give wun flyin' fig iffin dey tawk sweets........... Sweet tawkers ooshually haz sum ulterior motives.
Mom sez she juss wanna put uz on a difflerent foods. Purrrtty soon she a goona do dat wiffowt dah okey fwum Dr Kim... Den yu kno' she habbed nuff foolin' round.......... her pocket book unly go so deeps!