Dear Diary (and fellow Catsters)

Well, after thorough review I've decided that Catster is pretty cool. As a mature cat of 15 years I didn't want to just jump in without a thorough review. (I did that once as a kitten and ended up in a tub full of water - NOT my idea of fun.) So I let my sister Sydney-pup try out Dogster for a while first. I figured she could give the whole thing a trial, work out the bumps, and then I'd decide if it was cool or not.

But then... I realized that she was getting all the attention... all the mail... all the love... NO FAIR! So now here I am!! Honing in on the attention.

This morning I decided to wake my mom up by pouncing on her. So what if she was sleeping? I, King Seamus, decreed that it was time to PLAY!! So I kept pouncing on her legs, and her belly, and her arms. If she moved at all then I pounced more. She was groaning about being tired and it being early, but I don't know why she was worried... I can nap all morning (and all afternoon), so I'll get my beauty rest. Not to worry. Then Sydney-pup wanted to get in on the game... when I play on the bed she stands on her back legs to watch, and whines 'cause she can't be part of the game. (I'm allowed on the bed, she isn't - nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!) Once I was sure mom was awake then I curled up on her tummy purring and went to sleep. Wasn't that sweet of me?

Well, I guess it is time for my next nap.
Purrrrrrrrrrr,
- Seamus

A normal day and then... My first rosette

Today started like the past few. I was alseep, happy, then it was 5AM so I started trying to wake mom up. That is my current game. I start by nudging mom while purring (and I'm amazingly strong - I can actually move her whole body). She'll usually pet me and try to get me to go back to sleep, but I'm not that easy. If she doesn't wake up, then I crawl over her head (he he he) onto her nightstand. Once there I act like I'm about to fall over while trying to walk around her stuff. DUH - I'm a cat, I'm not going to fall. But she usually falls for it and trys to pick me up and cuddle with me. If she still is trying to sleep then I start throwing things (one of my patented tricks). But now I have stinky-Sydney-pup who remarkably helps. I throw things off the nightstand, and Sydney picks them up and tries to chew on them... she isn't REALLY chewing on them, she just fakes to try and wake mom up. So we tag-team for a while. This usually keeps her up for 45 minutes or so, and by then I know she's almost ready to get up.

So today started pretty much normal. After the whole wake-up-mommy routine, then she leaves with stinky-Sydney-pup for a while, and I sit at the front door and meow my complaints the WHOLE time she's gone (which annoys dad, and wakes him up a bit - BONUS). Eventually they come back, I demand my treats, and then we get on with our day. Mom showers and I sit like the king that I am on the bathroom counter, waiting for her to get out of the shower and adore me some more.

But then... a very special kitty Klemy (who has an especially awesome name) and is a really KOOL KAT, gave me my first rosette! Which, of course, just reinforces my cat knowledge that I'm su-purrrr.

Thanks Klemy, and I've reminded mommy to buy a extra special box of Q-tips.

PURRRRRRRR! - Seamus

My Christmas Photo Shoot

Well, today mom came home from work with Sydney-pup, who was gone all day so I got some really serious napping done today. What a relief. Anyway, the next thing I know Sydney has a new photo going up on the fridge. WHAT ABOUT ME????

I gave up on being subtle. So mom finally got a clue, and took the red and white fuzzy thing off Sydney-pup and put it on me. I purrrrrrrrrrrred and purrrrrrrrrrred to let her know she finally got it right. Then I laid on the bed while she took a bunch of pictures of me. I told her that she had to make that my new primary photo, and so it is. Me and my handsome Christmas hat.

Meowy Christmas!
- Seamus

Meowy Christmas

Cat's Christmas Prayer

Whoever made the stars that shine,
Whoever made green trees of pine,
Whoever dreamed up fish and mice,
Or sun and rain and snow and ice,
Must have the power in His paws
To help when there's a worthy cause.
Whoever gave the birds a nest
Will grant this humblcat's request.

For needy felines everywhere,
I meow my little Christmas prayer.
Please heal the sick
And cheer the sad,
Forgive the naughty,
and excuse the bad.

One more simple thing I ask:
A pool of sunlight in which to bask,
Plus a plate of food,
A safe, warm house,
A loving lap, a catnip mouse.
Freedom from fleas, furballs, and mats,
And homes for all the homeless cats.

from A Cat's Christmas by Stefanie Samek

Cat Haikus

Mom's been away from the computer for a looong time... so I had a little time brush up on my literary talents. (OK, I didn't write them - they're borrowed!) Enjoy the cat haikus

Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backward:
This pillow's taken.

The food in my bowl
Is old, and more to the point
Contains no tuna.

So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle's closer.

Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation,
One star; service: none.

Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
I've lost all interest.

The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.

My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?

Most problems can be
Ignored. The more difficult
Ones can be slept through.

My affection is
Conditional. Don't stand up,
It's your lap I love.

Cats can't steal the breath
Of children. But if my tail's
Pulled again, I'll learn.

I don't mind being
Teased, any more than you mind
A skin graft or two.

So you call this thing
Your "cat carrier." I call
These my "blades of death."

Toy mice, dancing yarn
Meowing sounds. I'm convinced:
You're an idiot.

I'm mad and I'm NOT talking

So... mom found it yesterday. I knew she would eventually, but I was hoping for a little more time. More time for my work to sink in. More time for that D-O-G to get the unmistakable yet unspoken message.

You see, that stinky pup Sydney made me very mad. No one knows how or why except me and her, and I'm NOT talking. It happened while our human's were away. But I was calm. I restrained myself. I did not bite her, or scratch her, or chase her. I waited.

I waited until she was sleeping.

And then I went to her big basket-o-toys. Where she keeps her beloved squeaky-balls. The toys she loves above all others. And took my revenge. I was cautious. Not a single toy was moved or out of place. I aimed carefully... and piddled all over every single one of her toys. HA! THAT ought to get her attention.

But... NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! She didn't care. She had other toys stashed under the sofa. And then... uh-oh. Mom is doing that *sniff* *sniff* *sniff* thing. She's following her nose just like dumb Sydney-dog... right to... the basket. DARN! She's taking it up to the laundry room. My entire plan is in shambles.

Oh well... she may wash everything clean, but I have an unlimited supply of ammunition. If that dog sets so much as one toe out of line... there's going to be another soaking! Until then I'm hiding under the bed until Mom calms down.

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs,
- Seamus

Can you recommend a good lawyer?

So, if you read my last entry you know that I had to discipline our dog Sydney. Well, mom cleaned everything up so I tried again. But... it BACKFIRED!!!!

Last night when mom got home she found a new puddle and was VERY angry with me. She put my nose in the puddle, and very loudly said NO! NO! NO! Then she took my food and water and litter box all up to her bathroom... and put me inside... and CLOSED THE DOOR!!!!

I was a very sad little kitty. I meowed and complained but for the first time ever she didn't give in. :-( Then I thought I heard the car leave... she left me in there all alone. Without even the dog to pick on!!! Eventually I heard the car come back and she finally came up to see me. I was so desperate for attention that I even let her trim all my toenails without complaining.

I was hoping it was all over. But no - the torture continues!

This morning she left, and I figured I was in the clear. But... apparently my dad is in on the conspriacy too! Just before he left for work he locked me back in that dumb bathroom. I don't care that I have my food and water and a bed and a sunny window and my litter box. I KNOW I'm in jail - you can't fool me.

Mommy said something about "re-education" and learning to consistently use my litter box. I guess she didn't understand that I was punishing her and Sydney-dog. The worst part is that I heard I'm sentenced to this treatment for a whole month. Can you believe it???

I'd like to appeal this harsh ruling, but need to find myself a good lawyer first.
Anyone have any recommendations?

My trip to the vet

I went for my regular checkup with the vet last night. Now that I'm a little older (but certainly not old!!!) the vet likes to see me every 6 months. As expected he said I am extremely handsome, so I let him do his checkup without any fuss. (Gotta reward the people when they are smart like that, right?)

But mom told him something about my eyes... she said my pupils don't react to light, they just stay pretty big all the time. The vet turned off all the lights in the room, then shined this really bright light right in my eyes... and kept looking and looking.

He said he saw the same thing mom mentioned (even with the really bright light my pupils stayed kinda big). The good news is that he said in general my eyes look good, and mom assured him that I can see just fine. But he said that sometimes if a kitty's pupils dilate like mine that it means we have high blood pressure, which in cats is never stand-alone. It might mean a thyroid problem, or kidney issues, or even a heart problem. Then again, maybe I'm just a little older and it is no big deal.

But the vet-man said to rule out the big-three he needed to do bloodwork. So they poked me with ANOTHER needle (I'm tolerant, but really!) and stole some of my blood. They're going to do a workup on my blood and give mom a call with the results on Monday.

So everyone, please paw-ray fur me that everything is fine. If my bloodwork is normal, since I'm otherwise an outstanding specimen of the feline species, then he thinks there's nothing to worry about. But until then mom will worry plenty. You know how mommies are.... worrying even if you don't need it. Then again, maybe this will get me more treats and lap time... if that's the case then I'll play it up. MOL!

For now though, I have a very important nap that I need to attend to!

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrs,
- Seamus

CHOMP! ZOOM! SMASH!

That crazy pup Sydney drives me crazy sometimes!!! But rest assured kitty-friends, I get her back.

Just the other day Sydney was lying quietly on her side asleep. Mom was sitting on the bedroom floor next to the d-o-g and was petting me with her other hand. But I wanted mom's undivided attention. So...

I walked quietly and slowly over to Sydney, who was still sleeping. I sniffed her tail. Mom thought it was "cute" that I was being so nice, and doggy was sleeping so peacefully. But her hand was still on Sydney's side. So I very calmly put my head down and BIT HER TAIL REAL HARD!

Unfortunately I didn't get the reaction I wanted. Sydney jumped up, yelped, and ran out of the room real fast and nearly ran me over in the process. So I went to jump up on the bed (my safe spot), but mom's head somehow got in the way. So instead of jumping onto the bed I jumped full-force into her face. *SMASH*

I fell back to the ground, Sydney was in the doorway looking back trying to figure out what happened and why her tail hurt, and mom was holding her face groaning and saying something about a fat lip.

So... the moral of the story is... even if the dog drives you crazy, do NOT bite their tails unless you have a good SAFE and fool-proof escape route planned. If you don't plan your exit well the result will not be what you were expecting.

Purrrrrrrrrrrs,
- Seamus

Vet Update

Well, my bloodwork came back.
=> Good news: CBC was completely normal
=> Not so good news: my BUN and Creatinine levels were slightly elevated

Basically this means that my kidneys are not filtering out all the stuff they're supposed to. This could mean that I have a kidney problem, or could just be the fact that I'm somewhat more senior. (Do not say "old" - I run the house, chase the dog, demand attention, and play daily. Just 'cause I'll be 16 in the spring does not make me old, I'm just well seasoned!)

The vet didn't seem alarmed, but suggested a urinalysis to ensure we understand what's going on with my kidneys. So... Mom took a urine sample in to the vet on Tuesday, and we should have results on Thursday. (Don't ask about how she got it - it involved scrubbing a litter box, little black pellets, pouring my piddle into a little plastic cup, refrigeration, and an early-AM trip to the vet. Geeze - you'd think I was a high-profile baseball player from all the production about a little visit to the litter box!!! MOL)

In the meantime she's ordered a new lower-protein food for me, which the vet said would be better for me in general since I'm a senior indoor cat. The new food should arrive next week, and then I'll decide if I'm willing to eat it or not. (That's a kitty prerogative, and mom just needs to hope I' not feeling picky!) Since mom has me on an extra-high protein diet now she's hoping that switching foods may be enough to clear up my readings and get me back in the "normal" range.

Dad is confident that I'm fine, 'cause I eat and drink and play just like I always have. But mom is a worrier so she's doing her thing. Me? I think I'll just find that dog's tail again... then wait until she's napping... then... CHOMP! (evil kitty-grin)

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs,
- Seamus