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Zelda's Scratchings

The Top 10 Favorite Beers of Cats

10> Dos Brekkies

9> Missing Nads Bitter

8> Mauster Brau

7> Fostered Lager

6> Heinekitten

5> Neutered Tom Stout

4> Yarnling

3> Mousehead Lager

2> Feleinenkugel


and the Number 1 Favorite Beer of Cats...


1> Bird Light

The Top 10 Kitty Horror Movies

10> Cheetah Cheetah Bang Bang

9> Don't Tell Mom the Can Opener's Dead

8> Soap and Water World

7> I Cough Up Hairballs on Your Grave

6> The Texas De-Claw Massacre

5> Eight-Lived Freaks

4> Litterboxing Helena

3> The Silence of the Iams

2> I Taw What You Did Lat Tummer!


and the Number 1 Kitty Horror Movie...


1> The Day the Yarn Stood Still

The Top 8 Differences If Santa's Sleigh Was Pulled by Cats

8> When Santa wants nine cats to fly all in the same direction,
it's "On, Hoover, on, Shop-Vac...."

7> Christmas is slightly delayed while we wait for Vixen to
finish cleaning herself.

6> December 24: Fire departments the world over go on rooftop
rescue red alert.

5> Santa may get the cookies, but no way he keeps that milk to
himself.

4> First, the dinner and the grooming. Then the napping, followed
by a light snack. Then, maybe, the flying.

3> Parents frantically cover the kids' sandboxes.

2> Less antler envy.


and the Number 1 Difference If Santa's Sleigh Was Pulled by
Cats...


1> "He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And they gave him a look of contemptuous dismissal."