Catster

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Furry Kitty Butt

I'm Baaaaaad . . .

I'm bad. I'm bad. I'm the baddest cat. Oh, yeah! They don't come much badder than me.

I stared down the Tuvok and WON! A little growling. A little hissing. Couple of swipes with the claws. He backed off real quick. And he's stupid! The human said hiding under the bed wouldn't do any good cuz he can fit under there too but he doesn't seem to know that! Whenever I go under the human's bed, he doesn't follow. He just hangs around the edges of the bed.

So now whenever the human leaves the door open, I take a little stroll around the house, checkin' out my new digs. If the Tuvok sees me and tries to make a move on me, I just hiss and then saunter (not run) back into the bedroom and under the bed. He follows me in, but just hangs out.

He'll have to find a meal elsewhere. Bandit is in da house!

Day Four of My Imprisonment

I need a new escape plan. The human has outwitted me at every turn. She is smarter than I thought. The first night, I tried clawing my way through the door. It was thicker than I realized. The second night, I howled all night. I figured if I kept her awake, she would eventually let me out so she could sleep. Apparently, she doesn't need to sleep. The third night, I went all out. I banged on the door. I howled. I walked all over the furniture, knocking things to the floor. I walked all over her bed. I even got right up in her face and meowed as loudly as I could. All she did was tell me to hush. So now I need a new plan.

I'm going to switch tactics and come up with a plan that includes the human. I'm going to need her help getting past the Cat Eating Monster. I got a look at him yesterday. It was horrifying. He's huge. His eyes glow. His coat is long and shaggy. The human calls him "Tuvok". I'm not sure if that is his name or if Cat Eating Monsters are Tuvoks. I know that he eats cats because I can smell another cat but haven't seen one or heard the human mention one. The Tuvok must have eaten him.

A horrible thought just occurred to me. The human is feeding me really, really well. Kibble, wet food, treats. More food than I've ever seen. Perhaps she is fattening me up to be fed to the Tuvok. Maybe this whole "adoption" was a sham. She lied to my foster mom. I'm not a pet. I'm a meal!