I've only been on Catster for three days, and already I have 22 friends! This is going to be fun!

The pink sparkle ball. . . . The pink enemy! Attack! Stalk, bat, chase, catch, throw! Aha! Bite it into submission and make it bleed some pink sparkles! VICTORY!! (Meow, I punished it pretty good!) Pick the remains up in my teeth to carry to the next room to show the humans. While carrying it, meow the victory song out of the side of my mouth (the humans are amazed that I can do this!).

I have everything under control, as usual. Pink sparkly balls. . . humans. . . .

When it's hot I like to snooze the day away!

The early morning nap is best taken on the white loveseat in the living room. The humans don't go into that room much in the morning, so it's quiet.

The midmorning nap is nice on the green velvet chair in the bedroom. I can supervise the lazy human, the one who gets up late, and collect my Morning Attention as soon as she does get up.

For late morning, after my brunch treat, there's the computer table, while the human works at the computer. I like to lie between the monitor and the keyboard.

But afternoon naps are best--on the humans' bed, on the nice soft bedspread, with the shade down to keep out the afternoon sun. (yawn)

Oh--did I mention the wicker chair?

I am making real progress training the humans to stay nearby and watch me while I eat. It's so pleasant to have attendants on hand in the dining room, even if there's nothing much for them to do but admire my table manners. They're not too bright, but for training, I use positive reinforcement--lots of leg rubs and purrs. These always attract the humans' attention, and the humans enjoy them so much.

(And so do I!)

Aunt Amy came today to do my nails! I was very good and sat quietly on the human's lap and didn't squirm around at all. I let him scratch my head while Aunt Amy clipped my back nails and then my front nails. Then she put on new hot pink caps to replace a few that I had let come off because the other human likes to hunt my discarded nail caps around the house! (She always smiles when she finds one and bats it with her paw.) When Aunt Amy was finished, she gave me four treats because I was so extra special good!

My new friend Phoebe says that we can all be persuaded with treats. Yes, we certainly do like treats, the more the better! So why are the humans so fussy about them? A big bug got into our house and I thought I would give it to the humans as a treat because they've been especially obedient today. But when I meowed to wake them up and let them have it they wouldn't eat it at all! They just took it away and threw it out! What a waste!

All my sparkle toys have gotten lost. I know I put them somewhere safe, but it was such a good safe place that I don't remember where it is. I meowed to the humans to look, but they couldn't find them either, even after they moved all the furniture. They went to buy me some more, but the store was out of sparkle toys (horrors!), so they bought me some other stuff. I don't care for the crinkle balls--crinkles are simply _not_ sparkles (what _were_ they thinking!)--but--I've got a new catnip mousie here at the Cat Mahal! Meow! It's black and white and pink, just like moi!

Run run run to the east side of the house! Run run run to the west side of the house! Run upstairs! Run downstairs! Don't let the humans catch me when I pass them by--not a chance; they're too slow! They can't even brush my tail! Zoom, zoom! Run, run!

Time for a nap.

I think I want to talk about the vacuum cleaner today. I don't mean the big vacuum cleaner. I don't like it--it's big and noisy, but, as my friend Phoebe has pointed out, it only runs around making noise when its tail is attached to the wall. And it always has a human with it to watch it while it is doing this, so I don't have to worry too much that it might eat me (surely my humans would immediately snatch THEIR BEAUTIFUL, SPECIAL PRINCESS from its nasty mouth?!).

The one I'm worried about is small, about my size. It's round, and it doesn't have a tail. It just comes out sometimes in a very sneaky way and runs around by itself making noise. Sometimes it goes around in circles, and sometimes it runs across the kitchen from side to side. I watch it from a distance and it doesn't seem to pay any attention to me.

I'm not sure exactly why it's here. The humans call it by name--Roomba. It ignores them when they call, but so do I, sometimes.

Who is it? What is it, really? Is it the kitten of the big vacuum cleaner? (But the big one never feeds it, or grooms it, the way my cat mama did for me.) Why is it here? Do they intend it to be my sister, or something?

I don't want a noisy sister. Not in my palace!

I thought about biting it, but maybe I'd better just stay away.

What a scare!

There is a metal chain hanging down from a green glass thing on the computer table. While I'm lying on the table watching one of my humans type, I like to bat the chain back and forth and take a few bites. Why not? It's usually fun--but not today. Today I got quite excited doing this and and bit down hard on the end of the chain. Suddenly a bright light came on! Right in my face! I was shocked! I leaped off the table and ran away as fast as I could! Then I hid under the bedspread. My heart was thumping; my tail was thumping; I didn't know what had happened.

Maybe I won't bite that chain anymore.