the life of a forest cat

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outside watching the snow melt

April 6th 2006 7:29 am
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I'm having my friend anders create a catster account for me today, mainly because i need a little contact with the outside world. it's freaking cold here in sweden, the snow is still here, and i'm bored. usually by this time of year, the snow is nearly gone and i'm hunting and going on adventures in the forest. not this year. snow everywhere. hopefully catster will wake me up a bit and distract me from this weather.

 

Dog Protest: Next Week!!

April 10th 2006 10:05 pm
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I've been out all night (again)... Even though Anders and Sanna are always trying to keep me in so that I don´t get eaten by a fox or a lynx or a wolf, I sneak out sometimes. They don't know this, but all I do is go out to the barn and sleep in the hay. They think I am out fighting dragons and trying to visit little girlie cats, but it's just not true... I'm asleep. I like to keep them in the dark, though, because then they are so happy to see me when I come home in the morning... still alive!

I had a dream last night about a big dog. It was really, really nice to me. We were like best friends and always went out for pizza and catnip. Then I woke up and realized that it was a real nightmare...! This is just another example of the subconscious DOG trying to keep the CAT down. I'm not going to stand for this anymore! Down with DOGs!!!!

I'll be having a protest against the whole DOG concept next week here in Grythyttan Sweden. If you are in the area, and are a cat, you should stop by.

Don't let the DOG keep the brotherCAT down!!!! Peace out, kitties.

Big Daddy T-ler

 

Oh Tree, Oh Tree, Oh Tree

April 12th 2006 6:33 am
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This is a song that i wrote for my new band, Late Night with Skrot. So far we don't have any instruments, but we're sort of modern that way. People don't know this yet (cats do, however) but the music of the future is all about silent wavelengths. Like radio waves that pass unseen, unheard from one cat's head to another. That's why we have all that hair in our ears. Antennae. People don't get it, but cats do. My song goes like this:

Oh tree, oh tree, oh tree
I see you over there
On the other side of this window.
Oh tree, oh tree, oh tree.

Oh tree, oh tree, oh tree
I'm going to jump down from here
and make them let me out.
Oh tree, oh tree, oh tree.

Oh tree, oh tree, oh tree
Now I'm out and running at you
Here I come, you better not duck
Oh tree, oh tree, oh tree.

Oh tree, oh tree, oh tree
I'm climbing up your trunk
It is snowing on my tail
Oh tree, oh tree, oh tree

Oh tree, oh tree, oh tree
Now I'm stuck up here
I'll meow for a while
Oh tree, oh tree, oh tree

Oh tree, oh tree, oh tree
They'll come get me
I like fish
Oh tree, oh tree, oh tree.

yeahhhhh.

 

Mud in the Sheets Feels Nice

April 24th 2006 10:15 pm
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But THEY don't get that... stupid humans. I go out all night and scrape together mud, twigs, little crusty pieces of crud, and bring them it all back into the house so that my human folks can enjoy the feel of nature against their sleeping bodies. But Nooooooo, they get all mad at me and madly start shaking and brushing me to rid me of my precious collection. It's like doing a job and not getting paid for it. Rats...

Rats? Now that's an idea. That's something EVERYBODY loves.

 

Overheard Human Speak

July 18th 2007 11:06 pm
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I overheard my humans talking about me this morning. They're always talking about me. They need to get a life. Or lives. Or whatever. Anyhow, it went like this:

Her: TAILER MUST GET TIRED OF BEING SO CUTE. IT'S LIKE A FULL TIME JOB. HE DOES IT 24-7.

Him: YEAH. HE'S LIKE BRANGELINA.

Strangely enough, I have been having the urge to adopt lately.

 

how to climb a tree and other important cat things

July 20th 2007 2:08 am
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My humans took some shots of me yesterday when I was climbing a tree. It's, like, no big deal and stuff, but they freaked out and had to take pictures... make sure you check them out in my photo book... And then today I am Cat of the Day, which they are also freaked out about, saying I should call my agent and stuff. Oh, yawn. I'm not trying to be humble, I just am. It's so easy being humble.

They really need to get a life, as I always say.

 

Hanging on

September 17th 2007 10:35 am
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where you been, homey?

March 12th 2008 1:31 pm
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I know, I know. It's a been along time since I updated y'all. But you have to understand that my life is very very internet-free. Only occasionally do I decide to leave the forest and check in with cyberspace. I mostly log on when I have to buy or sell stocks - you know how it is.

Some of the badgers in the forest have been talking about this twitter thing. At the same time that i feel that I'm WAY above the idea, I know that all the kids are doing it and what a better way to keep all of my fan (s?) in the loop as to my sitcheyation. Maybe it's time for me to get my twit on.

Wait. Can opening in kitchen. Gotta go.

 

That dood came back

May 2nd 2008 7:19 am
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So yesterday afternoon that dood that left me here in the middle of the furrest came back, just sauntering in like it was no big deal. I totally avoided him for like 2 minutes, but then he gave me some cheese and i forgot about the fact that he left me.

So now it's all just like it used to be, except there's no snow on the ground and there are lots of little critters crittering around. Some of those little critters are exceptionally tiny, and they crawl all over me and try to suck my blood. They are called ticks, according to that dood and the chick - they also call them something in swedish, but i don't speak that barbaric language, so i don't know what it is.

I helped the chick do her taxes today, purring at her feet and crossing my paws so that she will get a big tax refund. Big tax refunds mean higher grade cat food, so i'm all about the refund. Go refund, it's yer birthday.

The dood came back with some dogster and catster merch that he apparently swindled while he was in San Francisco. He told me that I better get my act together and start updating this blog a little more often, because some of the people at HQ (whatever that means) are keeping a closer eye on me now, making sure that i do my job. Then he threw some Dogster stickers at me and said "there's more where that came from, pal, if you just keep your fleas in a row..."

He's pretty weird.

 

i am going to eat that knocking bird. period.

May 5th 2008 1:49 am
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we have a bird, i think it's actually called a great tit, hee hee, ho ho... and during the winter he started knocking on the windows when the bird feeder was out of food. Now, it's spring and the little dork is still doing it. He starts at like 5 am and flies around to all the windows and just knocks and knocks and knocks. Of course, there's no food in the feeder, you idiot. It's spring and there's plenty of natural food out there for you to choose from. I've been out snatching up mice and rats and things, so it's time for you to get yours on. Lazy little dork.

Here's a video of the pesky little jerk.

 
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