The vet game me a time bomb in my bum,,, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeks

I not feeling well lately so mom says to the vet we go.. oh, no, now what, so off we go . We get there and she put my carrier on the floor while she talk to the desk girl.. a lady came out with one of the hybrid dogs, a cross between a peke and a beagle.. talk about funny looking and they say cats are a mix and a half.. it came up to my carrier and snorted.. then it went boof, boof,, what is boof boof,, what ever happen to bark and arf.. so I swated at him.. then mommsie take me in the vet room and put me on the cold steel table.. why does it have to be so cold... catswhiskers.. so of course they weigh me, 13 lbs and 8 oz. I have not gained a oz in one and a half year.I a big girlie.. now she say what wrong with you Bluie, I give her the LOOK, and swat, she say Well, we are grumpy today,, I think you not know the half of it. Mommsy says her been acting strange, she runs to bedroom with her ears back and hides on the bed for hours.. she comes out and then boom back she goes. She acts like something is wrong...Doc ,says that is how they act when they are in pain..
so her say, let me see where you hurt Bluie, her picks me up and starts to push my tummy, MMMMMMEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, ou that hurts bad... she says we found where the pain is.. she is backed up. I think, what that mean.. mommsy say , I not been going normal for the last few days,, Wait a minute I not like where this is going... I can feel a large blocked area... mommsie said my diet had changed cause I was using the urinary tract foods,, and not much fiber in it... Dr says put her back on her indoor outdoor, much more fiber... first we have to shave her bum and back of legs.. saniary clip so she not get all messy, WHAT YOU MEAN SHAVE, MESSY, HEY, DON'T YOU HAVE TO ASK ME.. oops mommsy tip me upside down. fur flying every where, breeze on my legs and bums,. hey, stop,.. hey,, done , Whew, lets go home.. vet leaves room and comes back with a IV bag of fluids.. with vitamins for me.. I NOT NEED FLUIDS.. NO I DO NOT... she say Pat ,I can do it, so mom backs up and OUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, STICK IN THE NECK,,, BLOW MY NECK UP LIKE A LIFE SAVER..... DONE, now lets go home mommy,, vet leaves I snuggle to mom, something going on... in comes vet with a blanky and a syringe filled with blue stuff. something call a stool softner, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM ,I NOT EAT A STOOL, DADDY SAY THAT IS A NONO. ICAN'T EVEN SIT ON THEM.. they wrap me in the papoose blanket, with only my bum sticking out, WAIT A MIN,,,, LET ME OUT.. NOW ANOTHER DR COME IN TO HOLD MY TAIL UP, COLD AIR ON MY BUM AND NOW THEY HOLD MY TAIL UP.. WAIT A MIN, I FEEL AN URGE, HONEST.. OH MY CAT WHISKERS WHAT IS THAT, SOMETHING SHOOT IN ME BUM ,, MEOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW,,, LET TAIL DOWN, ALL DONE,, TAKE BLANKET OFF, WAIT A MIN, I FEEL SOMETHING
SPLAT, CANNON BALL SHOOTS OUT MY BUM.. WHEW, THAT BETTER. DOC SAY MAY HAVE SOME MORE LATER. I HUG MOMMY CLOSE, TAKE ME HOME.. SHE PETTING AND LOVING ME AND THEN OUUUUUUUUUUU,PAIN, CANNON BALLS POO GOING DOWN MOMMSIE LEG... AHHHHHHHHH, NOW I FEEL BETTER. HURRY GO HOME, HOW HUMILATING THIS DAY HAS BEEN.. I GET HOME AND GO RIGHT TO BED UNDER THE BED WHERE SHE CAN NOT GET ME... WHAT A DAY BLUIE

I showed my mommsy, who is the boss?

Every day her go to the greenhouse to work with her plants and leaves me in here . We have a baby moniter hooked up so she can here me in the house. She is an sly old fox.. if I let gas her hears me.. I just get so bored in here. I play for a while.. then I make funny nosies , thought she would come in check, usually her come running in. ummmmmmmm, not today.. she is getting smarter.. let me seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,,,, ok I whine a little.. mew, mew,mew, nothing, her getting smarter... so I go sit right by the moniter and I go MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOWWWWWWW, MEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, MEW,MEW,MEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, MAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW,,,,, HURRY MOMMSY I STUCK IN CUPBOARD KIND OF CRY,,, HEHEHEHEH,,, MEWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMEWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.... I hear foot steps,, quick run to the door and lay on the top stop and look out the door window.. here she come.. hahahahahah,, foooled you.. her open the door and give me a funny look, I look really sweet at here. and say "WHAT' SOMETHING THE MATTER' she say you little minx... and gives me a hug.. out she go again.... Bluie

revenge of the Persian...

my mommsie got her camera out again... her picture taking loony bird.. everytimes there is a contest, out comes the camera.. this time it is a flower and fauna contest.. move feets very fast and quiet, she is coming,, scoot under the bed we go.. OH, Bluie, where are you? Silly, woman, I hiding , what you think I tell you where I am? Might work on human children but not me... Now not breathe cause she will hear you, shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Thump, thump, here her come.. oops a pair of eyes looking at me,, here her come.. wish her bigger then she not get under here.. oh, she got me, pulling me out... Bluie, lets go out doors, Mommsie let not.. out we go,, she take me here and there, then inside to sit with a fern and some pussy willows.. in one picture I stuck my tongue out, hehehehehee , to her.. oh, Bluie, you ruined that one.. finally her done.. look she set the camera down,,, put teeth on little ropey on it, now pull, heavey ole thing, pull, pull some more , got it moving.. all of a sudden BLUIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE.. catwhiskers she put it up.. go take a nappy now. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzBLuie

I beat Jaws, big teethy and all, my daddy ate him- hehehehhehe

Did you see the pictures on my home page, oh,yes, dad ,spose to get me a goldfishy , what he get, Jaws, the mama Jaws, very very mean, yes , she was,
I snorted on her and jumpy back I did.. her had mean little beady eyes and big teethy and spikes out the side of her head... I move back and her floopy right over to me.. I say dad gets her,I not want her, no I do not.. she bite me and feed me to her babies. if she had any.. it glurped and gurggled ,I had to swat it in the head... bad fisy...
you will not believe what I got for Easter, no you won't, cause Dad say he never get me one.. I GOT A CAT TREE, A VERY TALL ONE.. I run right up it and played up there. there is a hole in the eagles nest for me to crawl up through but if you lays there your butt will fall through the hole... you think if they get me something it would not have a hole in it. Dad says it is so I can climb in and out.. I could see everything I so excited, then I got hungry, I sit and look around,, ooops,, wait, how I get down, look down the tree, lots of platforms but I not going down, I land on my head and I already have a flat face. Hey, mommy, yohooooooooooooooooooo, I up here, I hungry,, mewowwwwwwwwwwwizy mommy,, human servant.... mewooooooooooooooizy,, Bluie, oh, need some help, ;ummmmmmmmmmmmm, ok.. whew she get me down I hungry,, bye Bluie

witchy cast a spell on me and sent to grandchildren to spend- the weekend

I sleeping nice and sunning myself watching the birdies and squirrels out the window.. when what comes in the drive way, mommsie human daughter Stacy and the "boys" from hell..Parker not to bad, but Peyton, run for cover.
I not get to excited until I saw "THE OVERNIGHT BAG' oh ,no, catwhiskers. one of them is staying ,,let it be Parker, cat prayers, on my knees(not easy) let it be Parker.. getting ready to go, whew, it is Parker.. not so bad.. so far so good.. but mommsie to busy for me.. gives all her time to the rug rat... he is 8 he can do things himself.. geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewhiazzzzzzzzzzzzzzy,, mommsie I here, I try to trip her, oooooooooooooops, she made it,, eyes in my head getting very big, tail standing on end.. wait a minute, hand coming down, I luv you Bluie, I just pet you.. I trys to back up quick, I a priness ,you not pet me... mewooooooooooooooow, he got me.. go to bed, get up excited he go home.. here come Stacy,, there she go but she forgot something,, OH HEART BE STILL, NO NOISE, SHE LEFT PEYTON THIS TIME, WHAT YOU MEAN IT IS HIS TURN. HE NOT NEED A TURNY.. sneaking across the floor , laying very l0w. he not see me.. the spawn of the devil, has been left here to torment me.. mommsie says Now Peyton, don't bother Bluie, you know since you swatted at her she gets nervous around you. LIke he really cares.. I won't grandma... COME NEAR ME, I SWAT YOU THIS TIME, HE IS SIX YEARS OLD. AND MOMMY GAVE HIM TIME OUT AND A LECTURE WHEN HE SWATTED ME BUT HE STILL GIVES ME THE EVIL EYE.
I resting on my bed in puter room ,here he comes. legs flying everywhere,like a jumbo jet, hi, Bluie, can I pet you.. NO NO MOMMSIE TOLD YOU NO, he getting near, oooooooooooooops tripped over his own feet... crash, almost got me.. grammy says, you ok, he says yes, Bluie tripped me, I WHAT ,YOU LITTLE MUNCHKIN, I WILL SHOW YOU..
I go back to my hammock in the window and lay and waited. Peyton playing trucks,, he comes near me pushing his truck, his head is right at paw level. swat, swat, hehehehehehehe, gramma Bluie swatting at me. Mommsie come and look and I give a sweet face , not me mommsie,, her goes, here come Peyton again.. swat, cuff.hheheheheehheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,, gramma,,, BLUIE, YOU BE GOOD... maybe think about it.. Bluieeeeeeeeeeeeee

##&*#* 10 days in Doggie Jail,spit,sputtter,,,- growwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwls

You will never believe what a h----------I have been through... mommsie says she would baby sit her daughters "RAT TERRIER' while they went to Florida,,, for 10 days... it felt like 10 YEARS.... my life will never be the same.. they arrive on a Sunday afternoon, they get out of the car they have this thing they call a doggie, a rat terrier, yea, right, a big skinny rat with big ears that yips and jumps.. well. ok, as long as she stays outdoors with them,, WAIT A MINUTE, THEY ARE GETTING IN THE CAR AND THEY FORGOT, "THE RAT TERRIER", HEY, TURN AROUND. mommsie ,hurry, it still here.. well I keep my eye on her and momsie picks her up and brings it in MY HOUSEIE..she say be nice Bluie,, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeksssssssssssssss, be nice, you out of your mind. it is a yipping,jumping, nipping doggie ,if you can call it a dog.
It ran right over and DRANK OUT OF MY WATER FOUNTAIN, AND SCARFED UP MY FOOD. Hey, mom put it somewhere.. I laying very quiet her not see,me, WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA, STOP, SHE JUMP ON ME AND LICK ALL OVER MY FACE, I THINK I GOING TO VOMIT,, GAG ME, GET HER AWAY,, mom got her just in time I going to swat her good.. they put her in the crate,, 1o days I had to put up with her.. she ate my food,drank my water, PLAYED WITH MY TOYS, AND SHE SAT ON MY MOMMYS LAP, THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN.. I growl and snarl and swat at her when she get near my mommsy, Mommy say Bluie be nice, or I put you in the bedroom, PUT ME IN THE BEDROOM, SHE IS THE BAD ONE,, HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT.. SMACK, THERE THAT TEACH YOU TO HAVE MOMMY TELL ME I GO TO THE BEDROOM... ok, Bluie, timeout for hitting Sophie,, sputter###@@#$%%%^^%$%$#&&$ you just wait little doggie,,, in bedroom I go, door shut,,
Next day I sicky, I not wee right, I scream and momsy rush me to the vet, her say I got stress crysals, I WONDER WHY MOMMY, IT MIGHT BE THAT STUPID DOGGIE,, MAKE ME SICK, NOW SEND HER HOME. so I had to have fluids and a great big shot, I felt real good aftter that, like a ton of catnippy,,, mommsy say her sorry, not baby sit again.. I drop my headdy to make her feel worse..
Next day they come pick up doggie,, I make sure they took all her things with them, not want them in my houseie....after she go, I strectch out on the floor and go to sleepy,, I happy again,, I free..... Bluie

My Kitty heart was so scared, I thought my mommsie went over- Rainbow Bridge with Bear

I was so scared, her had not been feeling well, but her not listen to dad and I. Her was not eating enough and would not rest... I kept trying to tell her she was sicky, I would get on her lap and licky her face and neck, andpurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs very hard.. but she did not understand... I so worried... purrrrrrrrrrrmewmewwwwmew.. then her felt very bad and dad took her to human hospital and they kept her day.. they say her heart attacked her... dad was so sad.. he say her has to come back home, I sat with him each night and we cuddle til we knew moms was getting better... her came home this moringing and I sticking to her like velcro, I not let her out of my sight, daddy and I make her be good, and ifs that thing tries to attacked momsie heart again, I bite it and kill it, yes, I will, I not let it hurt my mommy and I make her take her medicine like she does me.. My sissy Bear in memory, sat by her bed in the hospital for three nights til her got better.. I love my mommy so much ,I cannot lose her. Dad and I take good care of her... thank you for listening cause Iwas and still worry a little Bluie

stupid ole rat won't drown, mommy needs to get a return on- it..

I have this hairy ole rat that hangs on a rubberband string from the ceiling,, I grab it with my teeth and I run fast as the wind,, I am moving like a sst jet, all of a sudden, wham, it yanks out of my mouthie and I land on my butt and it flys back to to living room, next time I approach it more slowly, daddy think it very funny laughing his butt off.. I gets it in my teethy and an back up very slowly and soon it not move so I brace my back feet and I pull and pull, and ppppppppppppuuuuuuuuuuuuulllllllllllllllllll, pop, bang, it bounces to the ceiling ,hits the floor , flys toward dad and whan hits me in the head, sputter, growl,,, grrrrrwllllllooooooooooooooo,, I kill it how.. bad mousie,, I get, it again and drag it to my water fountain, I pull very hard and I put it in the water, mommy and daddy laughing very hard,, I get my paw on it and hold its head under the water,, hehehehehe,, it die for sure,, then I put both paws on it,,, mewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww,, my paw slip in the water, splash, smack, rat rips out of man paw, splash water all over me beautiful face, pops me in the butt and slams in the wall and back to the ceiling it goes. and mommsie and dad can't stop laughing not funny, no it is not funny.. mommy better take it back, it no good bad toy.. Bluie

Ity bitty spider,climb up Bluie's wall .down came the spider- and

and landed on Bluies nose, bluies eyes turned in and up curled her lip, she snarled and growled and blew air out her nose.. itity bitty spider fell upon her toe, spider looked up into those great copper eyes, and thought to itself ,my,or my,, Bluie with her nose held high lift her giant puffy paw, and down it came upon the spider its head and all. Bluie, felt it wiggle and jiggle and try to crawl away, but this time Bluie was going to have her way..
After some time she felt nothing moving so she very carefully lowered her head to peek under her paw. very very slowy she lift it up, and little spider little squash dead, Bluie smiled a cheshire smile, chest all high and mighty, she slay that little nuisiance spider, mew,mew,mew, she leaned down to lap it up with her tongue, and ,what to her suprise the spider jumped on her nose again,, Bluie was mad, mad, mad, she ran to the water dish and dunk in her flat button nose, spider fell in the water, Bluie splash him, step on him, and made him squirm, she let him get to the edge and knock him back again... soon he floated feet up, one big lick and smack of her lips,, down went the spider never to be beside her again..... I the woman, the boss, the alpha , the spider killer Bluie

My mommy is up to something

Her getting out the towels ,lots of them,bottles of liquids, hairdryer,combs,and brushes... her has cleared the counters and she keeps giving me the look.. I watch her very closly... now her running water in the double kitchen sink and has put on her big jeans... she is looking at me, she is walking towards me, her is smileing and I have turned and running like the wind, slide underbed and I am out of here... get back later,,,, whew, puff, puff, what a hand, pulling me out,, hey wait''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''Blue i