Mojo's Journal of Mayhem and Mischief

Annoying banging unsuccessful

This morning was my parents' only opportunity to sleep in for the week. I knew they really wanted to get up early, like me, so I banged repeatedly on the door and meowed. It didn't work! They wouldn't let me in so I could jump on their heads and wake them up. Eventually I gave up and went away, but still, this puzzled me greatly.

In brighter news, I did manage to attack dad's feet twice today.

Sofa success!

Just a quick note to say that today I managed to pee on the sofa just in time for mom to bring a business associate over. Score! Well, I don't have my nickname for nothing.

Vet trip today

So, today they shoved me in the big green box again. I was not happy, which I expressed by wailing and clawing everything, but they got me in there anyway and dragged me off to The Man With The Needles.

It really wasn't so bad. Mom and Dad were worried because I'd been puking every few minutes, and I didn't enjoy the puking much myself, so I could tolerate my antibiotics shot since I knew it would make me feel better. Sure enough, I'm home again and feeling much more like my old self.

Fever or not, though, I do NOT appreciate that little incident with the thermometer. At least slip me some tuna first, buddy.

Sewing: Fun for the Whole Family

Life has become more interesting since Mom started making Halloween costumes. First, the kitchen table has been cleared off, giving me many places to sit and sprawl. Secondly, I have learned to help sew. When Mom lays out the tissue paper pattern, I hold it down for her with my entire body. I also help her move the fabric by dragging it off the table. I get out of the way when she uses the Big Roaring Needle Machine, however. That's beyond my area of expertise.

I have to go, now. It's time for my nightly inspection of the glass doors.

The World Outside That Door

One day, I will dig my way through the front door. Every night I make a little progress as I stand on my hind legs and swipe frantically at the panel with both paws over and over again. I may not have front claws, but I know that eventually I will wear a hole through and then, Shawshank Redemption-style, I will unleash my terror upon the hallway of condominium complex building 16.

Until then, I'm napping on the floor, awaiting my opportunity for unrivaled mayhem.

Happy birthday to ME!

Last night I gave myself the ultimate pre-birthday present: I escaped to the porch.

Oh, it was SUCH a moment of triumph. Mom and Dad still can't figure out how I did it, and I'll never tell. Their best guess is that I squeezed out the three-inch opening between the open glass door and the wall.

The funniest part was when I sat there on the porch, right outside the glass doors, staring at Dad watching TV. He looked at me and said, "Hey, honey, there's a cat outside that looks just like... oh shoot it's Mojo!!"

I got to wander all over the porch under their watchful gaze until they ushered me back inside. I may be an indoor cat, but for my fourth birthday, I got to enjoy a few brief moments of freedom.

Freedom is rainy. I'm glad to be back inside.

Been so busy!

Wow, I'm so sorry I haven't written in forever. I've been really busy.

First of all, lately things have just been really exciting. There's a big pile of boxes near the glass doors that just came from the Man In The Brown Uniform Who Brings Boxes. Usually these boxes get put away immediately, but they're still there! Looks like they finally listened to me and decided the boxes add great ambiance to the living room. I've been saying that for years. Well, anyway, I picked the biggest one, and I can stretch out on it and look out the glass doors. That keeps me busy for easily five or six hours a day. The box is beginning to settle a little in the middle, making a perfect me-sized dent to rest in. Beautiful.

Also, speaking of the glass doors, I'm responsible for guarding them. I'm not sure if you knew this, but occasionally little flying things skitter across our porch, and I have to beat my paws furiously against the glass doors to scare them away. Yeah, it's a hard job, but somebody has to do it.

Eating, as you know, easily takes up a significant portion of time, as does cleaning myself. But I've dedicated myself to 15 or 16 hours of sleep a day, and frankly, that's not easy to accomplish. So between these busy activities, I hardly have time to write.

Speaking of which, I have to go now. Someone's getting into the shower, so I have to beat on the bathroom doors and meow so they know I love them.

It's the most frustrating time of the year

Well, it definitely looks colder outside than it did a few months ago, and with this time of year comes the most puzzling part of my existence.

The humans in my life put up the most delectable chew toy for me a few days ago, just like they do every year. It's large and green, and covered with succulent plastic needles. They seem annoyed, however, when I gnaw on it. They don't seem to understand that this is its intended purpose. To make things worse, they've made it even MORE beautiful with bright lights and shiny cat toys hanging all over it, but as a deterrent, they put this foul-smelling spice all over the parts I can reach that just makes it taste NASTY. I don't think they know how frustrating this is, and how downright strange it is to set up such a beautiful toy for me and then FORBID me from playing with it. It's bizarre.

Stage Two has just begun, though, wherein the humans place well-wrapped parcels beneath this chew toy for me to climb on and scratch at. This should keep me entertained for a while. Also, the makings of "The Small House Made of Edible Things That You Still Aren't Supposed to Eat" are coming together on my Sleeping Surface #3, (humans call it the 'dining room table,') and shortly hereafter I think I can get a few bites in before they notice.

All this being awake has made me exhausted. I think I'll go take a nap.