This Is My New Diary by Barney Joe Thunderbear

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The First Page of My New Diary---

May 9th 2012 11:10 am
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May 9, 2012
Wednesday

Dear Diary--
Here is my first entry to you. How exciting! (for me, anyway). Here goes:

I do not know who Mommi thinks she is, but She Had Better Watch It! :o
Our new kitten, Freddy Mercury the Angora (*hmph*) lies about on Mommi's bed all day and he blends in with the white comforters and Mommi and them think it's so cute! Well, I sure let Mommi know how I felt yesterday. She tried to put some kibbles in my special dish in her room, and she said, "Look, Barney Joe!". I tossed my head and sauntered off. WELL, Freddy likes to lie on MY SPOT on Mommi's bed beside her and look out the window! Yes, it's true. It irks me. Mommi tried to get me to come open the door to the back half of the house, which I can do by standing up and pushing it and she helps me a little. WELL, I just sat in front of the door, and when she asked me a third time I decided to lick my front paw.
It is bad enough she gets on the computer. I ignored her all day and scowled. Don't let anyone tell you cats don't have any emotions and can't change their facial expressions. Also, I tossed my head when she spoke to me, and turn away. They say My Daddy Joe Thunderbear would do that.
Mommi tried to scratch my head and i pulled away from her and tossed my head. A lot of head-tossing followed by me lifting up my front feet and turning away and trotting off like a pony. Oh, I went about flipping my tail a lot, too. JUST like my Daddy they say, but I am supposedly much more "dramatic" about it!
Well, last night when Mommi was too engrossed in the tv I went up to her and put my paw, claws OUT, gently on her leg. She said, "Oh, Barney!" and scratched my head and went back to her show. *HMMPH*!! I kinda like Freddy, but He Had Better Watch Out, too, as I think he wants to be the top cat, which is moi. We may have to have a duel! And I amnot sure if I will speak to Mommi today, neither!
Dramatically, with *Hmph*ish Overtones,
Barney Joe Thunderbear
(The Great)

 

May 18 - My Second Diary entry

May 18th 2012 6:38 am
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Well, I have taken up residence in the back half of the house, where Mommi's room is, and more specificificaly, on her bed. I am sorta tolerating certain Freddy Mercurys as he is a kitten maybe 8 months old now and he is so pitiful. He was found in front of his last home, sitting on the front steps in front of an empty house with a "For Sale" sign next to it. I guess he comes with the dern house, or something. He had been sitting there for days starving (he used to lie in the window every day when his people loved him), waiting for his people, till he weighed three pounds which is nothing as he is a long cat. He followed Mommi and Ro home, which was two blocks. Since then he has been putting on weight, but I feel sorry for him although I hissed at him yesterday as he had the nerve to walk 3 feet from me. He stays in the back half of the house as Bunny and them try to beat him up if he goes to the front half.
Yesterday, Auntie Ro ordered flea medicine from the PetMeds store with her card and I sure hope they send 'em and do not keep our money. We are all scratching like MAD!
Guess that's it for now. Oh! Oh! I made Diary Pick today with a few other diaries and I am SO PROUD you could poke me with a pin and I'd burst!
Yours truly and happily,
Barney Joe
PS: Yay! (*does cartwheel, recieves headbump*... Ed.)

 

My Third Diary Entry by Barney Joe Thunderbear - -May 21

May 21st 2012 7:00 am
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Dear Diary -
I cannot believe I have been on Catster more than a year! :) It's really neat. And I have really grown, and am quite big as cats go. In fact, the other week when Mommi took me out on my halter and leash I frightened some passersby when I LEAPED into the air about five feet! Twice. Mommi's going to take me out again soon, but my halter was getting a little tight and I have somehow lost my collar. The black one with rhinstones on it!
In other news, I am having to learn to get along with that new white kitten, Freddy Mercury, who hangs about back here in Mommi's room with me. He has been sequestered back here in the back half of the house (it is big back here, though) until he has The Operation. He is worried about it, but I had it and I do not remember it and so it wasn't so bad at all. It sorta makes you not so restless and to leave girl cats alone. As long as Freddy keeps his distance, I will even allow him to lie on Mommi's bed beside me.
That is all for today--Oh! Oh! We cats all got de-flead last night! We all hated it, but today I noticed I do not itch so much and there are no little creatures (*ewwww) crawling on myself. :) YAY!!!
Yours truly,
Barney Joe (The Great)

 

My May 28th Diary Entry by Barney Joe Thunderbear

May 29th 2012 7:32 am
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Tuesday May 28th

Well, I am still growing and am still huge. Lessee, what else. Well, Freddy Mercury is being quite a little pest these days! He jumps on Mommi's toes and bites 'em! He stalks me! He tore a whole in Mommi's downy comforter! He bats Mommi with hard smacks! He cries if he does not get his way, and mutters about it! He swipes everyone with claws! He has stinky poos! He eats out of my food dish! He swings from the drapes with fishnet cloth around his neck! He bites!

I guess that is all. *hmph*.

Yours truly,
Barney Joe Thunderbear

 

My Diary Entry For MAY 5, 2012 -----HISSED OFF

June 5th 2012 7:46 am
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That's right. Day before yesterday, Mommi decided, with the help of Auntie RO holding me down as I am a fierce lion, to clip my claws, put ear medicine in me, AND clip mats! I was so mad I did not speak to her for 24 hours. She tried to pet me and I pulled away. She tried to talk to me and I ignored her. She tried all manner of sneaky ways to get my attention, but I was miffed and hissed off and just plain MAD!! I could tell her feelings were hurt, well GOOD! Mine were too and I do not know why she put me through that in one day. *Hmmph*! Finally---oh, and I would NOT snuggle with her which I do constantly---when she lies on her bed to watch t.v. or sleep I am almost always snuggling up to her. And at night I spend most of the night right beside her and I guard her and protect her. And she treated my like a common animal.
Finally, when I realized her feelings were so very hurt I felt sorta bad and I gradually let her get closer to me.
We are o.k. now. I know she needs to put medicine in my ears but she had just better wait a bit. But she is really my good Mommi. *smooch* (don't tell anyone I said that)> =(^..^)=

 

My Latest Diary Entry by Barney Joe on June 10,- 1012.....Sunday!

June 10th 2012 9:46 am
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Dear Diary---

Well, last night I tried to wake up Mommi---I scratched her gently over and over on her forearm and she just muttered, "What is it, Kitty?". I had to tell her something and show her, but she would not wake up! I cannot reveal it, but what if one night I smell smoke or someone out front is fooing about in the night around the porch or something, or trying to peer in the window? She told Anuntie Ro today she will make sure and wake up next time, as maybe I was trying to tell her something important!
And I was! I can't bark, you know....

Yours truly,
Barney the Watchcat

 

My Diary Entry for June 13, 2012 by Barney Joe Thunderbear

June 13th 2012 7:55 am
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Well, we had a terrible thunderstorm the other day. It was around 10 in the morning, and the power went out, and we thought we might be getting a tornado, but had no way of knowing as Mommi's weather radio batteries were down! (You need a weather radio in the Ozarks!). So, Mommi and Auntie Ro opened the back door and the wind was whipping up and Mommi said, "Is that the sirens?" as there was a strange noise in the wind. Auntie Ro said , 'I do not know...". The wind can sometimes sound awful strange in a big storm. But it turned out not to be the tornado siren, although we kept our ears open for it. I was a little scared and stayed on Mommi's bed. They went out on the front porch and saw that half a block away a whole TREE had fallen on the power lines! :O And in our back yard a very big limb came down. The rain hadn't even started, and so we kept listening for the sirens. It started to rain ferociously--what they call a "frog strangler" around here--and no hail, so we felt sorta safe, as hail precededs the tornadoes. We wondered about Joplin, 60 miles west, where the horrible tornado happened a year ago. It just rained forever and we were powerless an hour and a half--a long time if you are not sure a tornado could be coming. We get them every few years here, and usually they do little damage, but back in the eighties a girl got killed by one here.
They fixed our power---the City Utility people are brave! and the storm passed.
Today will be sunny and very warm.
Yours truly,
Barneby Jones Thunderbear

 

Me and the Leopard! - JUNE 5 DIARY ENTRY 1012

July 5th 2012 5:57 am
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Dear Diary----I have a new friend who is a leopard! Yous can see a picture of him if yous go to my page. Peoples think I am very brave, but it is kinda strange cos I haven't seen Leo (I named my new leopard friend) move or hiss at me. When I first met him--and I am not dumb, neither--- I thought he was real! So did the other cats. They crept up and inspected him carefully all over till they were satisfied he wasn't a real live jungle cat.
Now, on to another subject. I do not know who my step brother Freddy Mercury thinks he is, but he has taken to spelling his name "Fredi Murkuri". He says "Well, it befits a celebrity, you know." As my daddy used to say, "He Had Just Better Watch It." I bleve he's gettin' too big for his britches.
Yours truly,
Barneby Jones Thunderbear
PS: I have a secret crush on a lady kitty on THUNDERCATS*!

 

My Diary entry on July 26, 2011 ******** MY NEW CAREER

July 26th 2012 8:38 am
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Today Mommi took 10,000 new pictures of moiself! I was fabulous. I posed, and looked this way and that, I played with the camera string, and I stared smolderingly into the camera. I made adorable profile poses. .Mommi said I was so good and beautiful! Then she took a few photos of me playing with her hands, and she said I seem rather like a baby lion, and I bite HARD! Just to add drama to the photo of course. When she said, at last, "We're done!", I jumped off the bed right on cue and went to the dining room to hang out near the cold air machine.
I believe I just might be a star.
Humbly,
Barney Joe (^..^)

 

MY DIARY -- by Barney Joe Thunderbear -- Helping Mommi and Other stuff --8/2/12

August 2nd 2012 10:09 am
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Dear Diary---
Well, I do not understand Mommi---I like to help her do stuff, sew & stuff, and I especially like to try and smooth the fabric with my paw whilst she is cutting it, and she says, "Barney, you will get a cut on your paw! No no!" *hmph* Those sharp scissors only cut cloth, so I am quite certain they won't hurt me. Also when she is putting her medicine pills in the tray for each day, I like the noises they make in the bottle and I want to smell them and maybe even try one, they might be good. She says, "Barney Joe, no! This isn't treats it is blood pressure medicines and stuff and will hurt you!". AND, she won't let me have any more milk---as it upsets my tummy but I do not care it doesn't hurt me!
How do we teach these Mommi's and Daddy's stuff they don't know. We need a group called, "Teaching Our Humans."
Yours truly,
Barney J. T'Bear

 
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