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Musings from the Granny kit-tahj!

Safe Journey Little Miss Tiny Paws

January 8th 2014 1:41 am
[ Leave A Comment | 22 people already have ]

This is Natalie's mom. Last night we assisted Natalie to the Bridge.

It was very sudden, yet looking back we saw signs for a week....she seemed more desperate when she meowed. She was drinking more water. (she was on subq fluids, medicine for high blood pressure as well). She seemed more frail.
I came into the bedroom last night at 6, and Natalie was laying on the floor her legs spread out as though she had collapsed. She was making strange meow sounds, and she crawled, commando style, under the bed. When I reached down and lifted her to the bed, she crawled back to the floor and under the dresser. When I lifted her again she was panting and making that sound.
It was terrible! My husband called and I told him what was going on. Her regular vet was gone-but Ruffy's vet, whom I love-was open. Deb, the woman who used to work at the 'bad rescue' where we got Natalie, and who had been the one who admitted Natalie to the adoption floor (really saved her life!) is our neighbor and now runs her own rescue. She drove us, and my wonderfully kind neighbor who had just at that moment came with me so I wouldn't be alone.
We were shown into a back room, and one of the techs came and did a quick exam, and told me that they might not be able to do much-we might have to go to an emergency vet. Deb knows them there and told them that as far as she was concerned, whatever Dr. K said we'd do, but she wanted him to see her first and I said the same thing. We had quite a wait, and this was good, as my husband, who has always been Natalies love, was on his way home.
We waited an hour and a half-and my husband came. During that time Natalie had calmed, and seemed a little more alert.
When Dr. K came in, he gave her a thorough examination. She could not stand, nor did her muscles really respond. He could not hear her 'second heartbeat' and he believed that she either had a heart attack-or had a stroke. She started to make that strange sound when he handled her certain ways and he took her tempurture. It kept going down-and bear in mind, she was in the warmest room of the place, it was easily 80 in there.
He took her temp 3 times. each time it was going down. I asked him if he thought she was dying. He said he believed it might be. He told us we might be able to get her through the night if we put her on fluid therapy, but he didn't recommend it, as she was in very bad shape.
We made the decision to release her to the Bridge.
My husband is taking it very badly. he was the one who held her, and she clung to him, relaxing for the last time in his arms. She didn't fight being at the vet, only once did she try to get off the table, and she was very weak.
I of course, now have regrets. Perhaps we should have tried something more-but I like and respect Dr. K. He doesn't believe in euthanasia unless there is no other choice, and he didn't recoommend the other choice.
Coming home, being here, is hard. I could never imagine in a house with 8 cats that one little orange girl could leave such a gaping hole. Her heated bed remains at the foot of ours, we miss her small form in between us at night under the covers. Last night for the first time all the others had run of the bedroom. To my surprise, they are behaving more quietly than usual.
You know, cats are basically kind creatures. In the last few months of her life, with the exception of CK, they tolerated her hisses, and growls. Smokie ignored them, though she would 'yell' at him....forever the 'RB' in her eyes.
It's so quiet here now. Our TV broke the night before last, and I've been sick with a bad cold. Today will seem so very different.
I miss little Miss Tiny Paws, who would sleep at night with her paws in your hand, who could bite when threatened, but who let you know, quite rightly, that you belonged to her completely. Willing servants, we would have it no other way.
I mourn her passing, but I celebrate her life. She came from a bottom cage at a rescue after being found at approx. then age 12, roaming the streets by a woman. I think she was someone's cat who loved her but did nothing else for her-she had not been spayed. She had breast cancer, and she BEAT IT!!!! It did not take her-she went through chemo-a warrior and survived and thrived.
She would have been happiest as an only cat. Oh, I'll miss her dirty looks at the others, her extrodinary sense of self, her love of people, and her tolerance of most things that were not cat related. She loved her heated bed-thank you Aunt Dana-she loved her warm Hazel Lucy collars.
My husband is subdued this morning, quiet. It's only 4:30 am here, but he has an early order at work and that will keep him busy. Smokieboo has not left our side and Princess stays near by. She's been waiting for a long time to usurp the bed.
I will miss my Nat. I know, really, we did what we could. I'm grateful she was able to leave as she came, in my husband's arms, warm, loved and safe. And I can only hope that she'll let us know she's ok, much as Samoa has let her moma nd dad know.
I am so sorry she left as she did, but we were with her....and always the doubts, should we have tried more...
but there seemed no way out-the final fight she couldn't win....

we love you little Miss Tiny Paws. We will love you forever. If I had to do it all over to know you...I surely would.

Mom Deb


Leave A Comment | 22 people already have

Purred by: ♥ Anna ♥ (Catster Member)

January 8th 2014 at 5:56 am

Please know our heart grieves with you. sending much love to you a loving family who gave the Nat Cat a wonderful home!
Purred by: THE REST OF GRAMMY'S CREW (Catster Member)

January 8th 2014 at 5:56 am

We so sorry to hear this news. It's never easy to say Goodbye.
We knows you did the right thing and miss your Natcat. We send our Love, Hugs, Kisses, Purrs and Prayers to you and your family. Fly high .... Fly free Miss Natcat.
You are loved so much and always will be in our hearts.

Love, Angel Yoda, Kibbles, Francis, & The Crew
Purred by: Samoa - Diva Angel (Catster Member)

January 8th 2014 at 7:08 am

You did the right thing, don't second guess your decision. It is better that she didn't have to suffer one more day. That is the way you have to look at it. She lived and thrived under your care, and she knew so much love. Making the decision to send a loved one to the bridge is the hardest decision ever, but when you know there is no chance for an extended quality of life, then making the pain end is the humane thing to do. It has taken my Mawmee many years (and cat journeys) to realize this. We send love and hugs to all of Nat's family. We're taking good care of her, and she is going to shine brightly in the heavens!
Purred by: Sugar our Sweet Brave Warrior (Catster Member)

January 8th 2014 at 7:16 am

We share your grief and your celebration of Natalie's amazing life. You absolutely did the right thing, and it's the hardest most loving thing a pet parent can do. Nat Cat's courageous spirit will live forever in all of the hearts that she touched. We love you. Sugar and Mama J
Purred by: Queen Tallulah Angel Dreamgirl (Catster Member)

January 8th 2014 at 9:04 am

We agree too, to love your precious fur baby and to make that decision is very hard, she was letting you know it was time for you to let her go, just as my Tallulah did.

You are all in our thoughts and prayers during this sad time, but we know your Nat girl will be watching over you and she will give you a sign...

Nat was a brave kitty and you gave her a wonderful life, she knows you loved her...and you gave her the last gift of peace. She is now with all the catster angel kitties we know they were all there welcoming her with warmth and love.

She left her paw print in our free sweet Nat our special little friend....

Angel hugs and butterfly kisses
QT, Mom and fur family
Purred by: Kaci Sunshine - Beloved Angel (Catster Member)

January 8th 2014 at 10:56 am

Deb, my angel kitties and I are so very sad to learn the news about your precious Miss Tiny Paws. I know Kaci and Miss Mittens were with Bella when she welcomed Natalie to the Bridge. My heart grieves along with yours for your precious furbaby. Please don't feel guilty and second guess your decision. You did the right thing, even though it broke your heart. Sending you much love and lots of comforting hugs.

Love & hugs,
Mommy T, Kaci, Miss Mittens
& family
Purred by: Platelicker ♥ DB#69 (Catster Member)

January 8th 2014 at 12:19 pm

Auntie Debra you did tha right thing for Nats. She was letting you know, in her own way, that it was time. You took good care of her and she knew that.

Love and Huggs,
Purred by: ♥Sam (Catster Member)

January 8th 2014 at 2:38 pm

We also say you did the right thing and we also understand it's normal to second guess yourself. But she was loved and you know she knew it. The last thing you do not want her to remember is submitting her to more pain for the outcome to be the same. {{{big hug}}}She had the best life with you and she couldn't have asked for any better.
Purrs Sam, Mr D, Raza and our angel Balty.
Purred by: ♥ Jezebel RIP ♥ (Catster Member)

January 8th 2014 at 10:36 pm

We're so sad to hear about Natalie. We think you did the right thing, but it is such a hard decision. Sending lotsa of purrs to y'all.
Purred by: Stacy T

January 8th 2014 at 10:48 pm

Oh my sweet, wise friend Natalie ! I was so sad to hear that you had made your journey. I looked up at my humans and they looked sad too. They know the heart ache, the pain of living forward while missing a loved one.

I closed my eyes and I could see Natalie, near a rainbow, pawing through rich green grass and with the warm summer light on her glorious, and glowing red fur. Her eyes bright, wise and lively. Her step quickened and she looked to be nearly gliding. She turned and I saw the the sunlight illuminate her wings.
I tried to share my sight with my family, but they didn't seem able to see it how I could.

In everyday of Natalie's life, she knew that her human family were her champions. She waked each day, knowing she was loved and fell asleep each nap or night secure in that love.

No one could doubt that love. (and please do not doubt yourselves) In Natalie's life you showed her great love and caring.
At the close of her life you showed her the same and Natalie lent you her bravery and wisdom.

... until we next meet - my sweet friend
Purred by: Timmy Tomcat DB #122a (Catster Member)

January 9th 2014 at 9:37 am

We are all so sad to hear this news!
Love and caring purrs are from each of us and Dad is praying that you feel comforted in the knowing

The knowing that you gave Nat Cat as much love as can be given
The knowing that you did as much as could be done
The knowing that she was saying it was her time in her way
The knowing that she is now pain free, young again and happy

She looks down purring with her own knowing
The knowing that she was deeply loved
The knowing that she will watch over us
The knowing that we shall all meet again in the land of youth, health, warm sun, soft grass and tall trees that give cool shade

Love, purrs and prayers
Dad Pete, Timmy and Family
Purred by: Bibi (Catster Member)

January 9th 2014 at 10:36 am

Our eyes are leaking for you and our arms are hugging you. Nat Cat was so brave and so are you.
Purred by: Delyte, Dark Angel, at Bridge (Catster Member)

January 9th 2014 at 11:38 am

We welcomed Nat to the Bridge today and she is so happy to be out of pain, but she misses her people terribly. All our family sends their deepest regards to her family, human and furred. We know how horrible it can be at this time, and how big a hole one tiny, bony old cat can leave. Nothing much helps now but time. She had such a wonderful life with you and she was so strong, she wanted to stay with you so badly. But you did the right thing. It's hard to assure yourself right now, but you will come to believe it. Giant purrs, headbonks and hugs to all of you at such a terribly sad time.
Purred by: Mayhem (Catster Member)

January 9th 2014 at 4:23 pm

Silent purrs and quiet prayers...
>^..^< Mayhem and her mommy Mary
Purred by: ♥Friday DB #170♥ (Catster Member)

January 9th 2014 at 4:31 pm

Dear Auntie Debra no words can ever take the pain away ~ we know this all to well. But we believe you did the right thing in helping to release Natalie from her pain. She was letting you know it was her time, she was also hanging in there for the both of you to have time to say "Bye for now sweetie".

All of your love she took with her and she has left a piece of her soul for the both of you to take care of until you are all reunited once again.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this time

Friday and Furmily
Purred by: Colorado *In Loving Memory* (Catster Member)

January 9th 2014 at 4:43 pm

And your phrase, "And we were with her" is the most important thing of all, I believe! See, my mum was with me at the vet at the very end. She too wondered *if she had done more* but she had already done her best. It took her awhile to accept her best but I know I went to the bridge totally loved. You gave *Tiny Paws* your all, as well.

May God bless you and your husband and may he leave you with warm comforting thoughts.


Purred by: Hazel Lucy - My Angel (Catster Member)

January 9th 2014 at 4:44 pm

With great love and admiration.
Now you are healthy and learning to fly!
Purred by: WeBeesSiameezers (Catster Member)

January 9th 2014 at 9:43 pm

Please accept our purrs and hugs as well.
Our meowmy had to do this hard thing too, a couple of times, and its so easy to try and blame yourself for what you have no control over. The more you love a fur child the harder it is to say goodbye, and the longer that empty feeling lingers and lingers. You gave her the ultimate gift, the last gift, that of release to kitty heaven and you will evfur have her lovely memories to treasure close to your hearts. No one will be able to take that away.

((((( hearts; )))))
Purred by: Moma Ivey (Angel DG # 25) (Catster Member)

January 9th 2014 at 9:45 pm

Miss Natcat you were a brave soul and such a fighter we love you and I will be honored to help welcome you to the bridge, mom as tears again and we are sending lots of love and prayers to your mom and dad saying good bye is so hard for our humans.
Purred by: Sandi G

January 10th 2014 at 3:34 am

:( So sorry to hear about Nat Cat, she was such a precious and purrfect soul. Please take care of yourselves during this difficult time. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Love, Tate
Purred by: Gumpy Sweet Boy (Catster Member)

January 10th 2014 at 8:13 pm

We are so sorry for your loss of your lovely special little orange girl. She was so blessed to be with you and know so much love and great care. And what an inspirational being - to overcome breast cancer! I'm so sorry and understand the pain of questioning and wondering about that decision; for me it took some time to make peace with that. We are sending our love and comforting purrs to all of you.

Deb, you always offer such comforting and wise words to those experiencing loss, and though I don't have that gift of words like you do, I am sending all that energy right back to you, and much love. What a beautiful poem from Timmy Tomcat....The Knowing.

Love & gentle hugs,
Jen and Gumpy
Purred by: Jasper, Angel Dreamboat #49a (Catster Member)

January 11th 2014 at 7:57 am

This is sad news indeed. We, too, will miss the NatCat. Sending our love and prayers to you. Nat was fortunate to have found you, and to know your love.

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