Broken hearted

Foster mommy's heart is broken today. She went into visit the shelter she does the fosters for and she asked about me see if I had finally found my forever home and she heard the worst news ever. After foster mommy brought me back they found a new foster home for me temporarily. It wasn't a good family. They refused to buy the food I needed and I stopped eating. Since I was over weight and suppose to be on a diet I developed fatty liver syndrome and was put down. I am now over the rainbow bridge. Foster mommy nearly broke down sobbing right there when she heard this. The whole ride home she was crying and telling foster daddy it was her fault. She shouldn't have brought me back. Foster daddy kept telling her it wasn't her fault. Simone was sick and he was about to leave for business in India, they had to bring me back to the group. It was what had to happen. That doesn't make foster mommy feel any better. I had such a horrible hard life and now I am gone because the foster family that took me wasn't good enough to take care of me. If I were still with foster mommy I'd still be alive. It breaks her heart. Foster daddy told her that even if they had kept me I might still have gone, foster mommy says at least I would have gone in the arms of someone who loved me. Foster daddy keeps telling her, you can't keep all the kitties, you can't save them all. She wishes she could have saved me though. Her heart is broken.

I want to tell her it isn't her fault. I suffered so much in life, she was one of the few good moments I had. I know she didn't want to give me up, I know she wishes she could have protected me further, It isn't her fault. I'm at the bridge now. I'm happy and healthy and one day, when foster mommy finally comes to the bridge herself, I'm going to cross over forever with her. She'll be my permanent mommy someday. Until that day, I'll wait for her. I know she loves me and will think of me every day. That meant more to me in life than anything else mommy, you aren't foster mommy anymore, you're real mommy. I love you mommy, I'm waiting for you to come rescue me forever.

memories and thank yous

Mommy wants to say thank you to everyone who has shown such a beautiful out pour of emotions and love to me and my family during this time. Everyone is starting to feel a little bit better. The pain never goes away but the sting eventually wears off. Mommy knows I'm in a better place now and that I'm free. Being mad won't help her. She's all ready preparing the foster room for a new arrival. She can't replace me but she can make a difference in another kitty's life. I'm glad she's not giving up because of me. The best way to honor my memory is to save another life.

While she was doing so she was thinking of me. I was never suppose to be their foster. Mommy brought Jubilee into the adoption event and never expected him to find a home. There were so many kittens there that day and he had been there for so long, she was certain she'd be taking him home again. Well wouldn't you know it, he got adopted. Less than a few hours after she dropped him off. That afternoon the nice lady who runs the adoption event called mommy and asked her if she could take me home. I was doing really bad in a cage. I was so scared and lonely and they were afraid I'd get sick there. Mommy was going to take some time off but relented and drove out to pick me up. I was a mess. I was shaking and dirty. Being abandoned is hard on a girl. My brother had all ready been put down when we arrived because he had massive brain trauma and I was so scared. Mommy brought me home and into the foster kitty room. Daddy was in the bedroom, he had hurt his back that weekend and wasn't able to get up. Mommy let me out of the cage and picked me up, she carried me into the bedroom so I could meet daddy. He pet my head and smiled at me. These were good people. Then mommy brought me back into the foster kitty room. I was still pretty scared. The room smelled really strange, but it had a big comfy chair in it, my own clean litter box, fresh food and water, cat grass, a big open window with a cat ledge on it, and lots of toys and beds for me to chose from. I decided it would probably be ok here.

I did spend the first day hiding under mommies huge desk. She has a great big desk in there. Mommy lay down on her belly on the floor in front of me and gently pet my head and sang to me the song that is now on my profile page. I slowly came out of my shell. The next morning daddy worked from home because his back was still too sore for him to drive into work. He sat in the big arm chair and I slept by his side all day. I've never been so happy. There's a picture of us on my profile page from that day. I had only known him a day and I was all ready so happy with him.

Mommy knows she will get over the heart ache eventually but she'll never forget me. I wasn't with them very long, but I was very special. Thank you everyone for thinking of me. I love you all so very much.

Finally a new foster for mommy and daddy!

I know losing me was really hard on mommy and daddy but I have some good news, they brought a new foster into the house today. You can read about her in Simone's diary. I'm happy for them, they shouldn't stop saving little ones because something bad happened to me. I love them so much, I'm going to watch over this little one with them, she needs a lot of love. Just wanted to let you know the good news kitties. Purr for the new one, she's had a rough life but things are looking up for her now!

So much for an angel to watch over

I've been very busy up here recently. Poor Marshmallow wasn't eating so I had to help mommy have the strength to do what was best for her and give her up. I keep an eye on her at her new location though. She's eating cans of baby food and is up to 8 a day. I need to help giver her the strength to eat kitty food and return to the adoption scene. Mommy and Daddy took in a new foster kitty too, her name is Ivy and she's deaf. I whisper kitty secrets into her heart though, she can hear me, she knows her foster family is there for her and will protect her with all their might. I hope she trusts her heart.

Today is also River and Simone's birthday / gotcha day. It's really the day they were adopted but mommy calls it their birthday instead because it feels like they've been together forever then. Their lives started when they met mommy and daddy! I couldn't agree more. Those were some good days. I'm going to fly over and sprinkle some angel dust on the new foster and on River and Simone so their birthday is fantastic. I hope all you earth kitties are behaving yourselves and had a great Halloween. Thanksgiving is just around the corner, I hope you all make out your lists of things you are thankful for! I know what's at the top of mine!