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The Charmin Diaries

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Pleasing, yes. But plump?

December 17th 2009 9:27 pm
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So today Mom took me and Sev to the vet for our insurance checkups. We're all good. Healthy as horses, whatever those are. But the vet lady squinched up her face when I got on the scale. I'm eight months old and I weigh nine pounds.

So what? My sibs wander away from their dishes in the morning, leaving perfectly good food behind. I'm a neatnik. I like clean plates. So I deal with it.

Tonight, Mom fed me and my sisfur, Onyx, on the floor and my three brothers on a table. My bros are kinda skinny. Me and my sisfur are not. We can't get to the top of that table, but it's probly 'cause we have short legs, not 'cause we have round tummies.

Bet my bros left a lot of good food up there. But I can't get to it. Now, is that fair?


I caught a mouse!

December 26th 2009 8:11 am
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It was fun to play with, but eventually it stopped moving. I left it in front of the bathroom door so Mom would be sure to see it.

She threw it away without even playing with it. And then went into the basement to check for any signs of more mouses. We live in a 120-year-old house with a stone cellar, so it's hard to keep them out. Not that I'd want to. Mouses are fun!


Not less of me, but not more either

January 22nd 2010 8:59 pm
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I don't like the whole idea of this diet thing. I want what I want when I want it. And I want food. This morning, Onyx and I put on our best pitiful looks, staring up at Mom from our food dishes, which we'd licked clean in, oh, about 14 seconds. We tried to suck in our cheeks to look emaciated, but our round bellies kind of gave us away.

But she did give us a wee bit more food. She doesn't want us to lose weight too fast. Actually, I haven't lost any weight, but I haven't gained any either. I weigh exactly the same as I dd a month ago when the vet lady said I was a bit tubby. Mom's going to check tomorrow to see if that's OK. I mean, I'm still only 9 and an half months old. Maybe I could use a pound or so more. Please, vet lady. Say I can have another pound.


New wand!

January 24th 2010 3:03 pm
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Today Mom came back from the pet shop with a new feather wand. Yay! I love feather wands the bestest of all my toys, but I'm kind of hard on them. I like to jump really high in the air, grab the feather wand, yank it out of Mom's hand and run away with it in my mouth. If she resists, we have a game of tug of war. I chomp down hard and growl while she pulls gently and laughs until she finally gives up and lets me have it. She says this is doggie behavior. Huh?

Usually I drag it into the downstairs bathroom and hide it behind the commode.

The last one got beheaded from the tug of war. But now we have another!!


Vicki Sickie

January 29th 2010 8:58 pm
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Ooooooo, I don't feel so good. Was it something I ate? Last night, I greeted Mom at the door as usual when she came home from work, snarfed up my din-din and did the usual play and snuggle routine.

But this morning, I woke Mom up with the tell-tale cat "hyuck-hyuck-hyuck." She popped right up, probly thinking it was sisfur Onyx, who is being treated for the hyuck-hyucks. But it was me, and she was very surprised, 'cause I don't do that as a rule.

Down the hall she went, and saw little piles of hyuck-hyuck all the way to the litter box in the back room, where there was a little pile of exceedingly stinky and somewhat liquidy poo. No denying where it came from, because when she checked, I had poopy pants with the same distinctively yuck smell.

Off to the vet's we went, and I really felt bad, because my brofur Jasper was a Diary Pick for the day (yay, Jazz!) and she didn't have time to give him his props. And Jasper is very big on his props.

So anyway. Mom was worried that I had the giardia again, but I tested negative for that in November, and again this time. I had no temperature, and otherwise checked out OK. I got a shot of Zantac to settle my tummy, some liquids to rehydrate me (I had this, like, water balloon between my shoulder blades for a while), and a prescription for an antibiotic.

And the worst was that when I got home, I got a poopie-pants bath like Leo talks about. Then Mom wrapped me in a fluffy towel and handed me to Dad and ran out of the house, muttering something about being late for a meeting she was in charge of.

Like, what's important here, Mom?


My food has been recalled!

January 31st 2010 8:52 am
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I'm feeling much better today. Yesterday Mom gave me this new food, called strained turkey. It has a baby pink monkey on the label, but Mom says it's good for kittens with upset tummies. It was yummy. Later today she said maybe I can have a little of my regular wet food, but no dry.

She made me take these awful pills, too. Shot 'em right down my throat with a plastic thingy. But not without a fight. I didn't mean to hurt Mom, but I got one paw out of the towel and drew a little blood. So I got my toenails trimmed this morning, too.

But here's the thing. The vet blog today had a Web address to read about pet food recalls. This is it, in case you don't read the vet blog:

And guess what, our Nutro Max dry food is on there! The UPC code matches and everything. This is a brand-new bag, but we've been eating Nutro Max as a free-feed dry food for a while now, and now Mom is wondering if that isn't what made me sick.

The FDA Web site doesn't say why it was recalled, but the Nutro Max site said it had an incorrect balance of zinc and potassium. It also said that "cat owners should monitor their cat for symptoms, including a reduction in appetite or refusal of food, weight loss, vomiting or diarrhea."

That bag's going back to PetSmart, right quick.


The drawbacks of a floofy tail

February 13th 2010 1:19 pm
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Mom stepped in my tail again today. Twice. Well, on the tail itself only once, but also once on the furry halo around the tail. The first time I squealed and ran upstairs and Mom had to come looking for me to apologize. I wasn't hurt, but I was scared. The second time I ran under the hutch in the kitchen and had to be coaxed out.

What's up with this? Brother Bear has a tail that is just as floofy as mine if not more so, and it never gets stepped on! The only other cat here whose tail gets stepped on regularly is Severian, and his isn't even floofy. Why do me and Sev get tail-stomped and the others don't?

Could somebody please get a government grant to study this?


Honor for the winner, comfort for the defeated

February 20th 2010 2:39 pm
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"Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding." (Albert Einstein)

I know the guys think I'm a bubble-headed blonde. But I read, too, just not all that political and warfare and strategy stuff. I'm kind of a Camus cat. And a true pacifist. I live to make my humans feel good, and they return the favor. That's how it oughta be.

So the mencats in the household had a dust-up today. I think Sev lost, but I'm not sure. He seems to be the most sorrowful of the bunch -- kind of hang-dog, if you can use that term for a cat. So I will go do my understanding and loving thing. It's a heck of a lot more powerful than fighting, if you ask me.


I learn from my humans

March 8th 2010 9:16 pm
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I want to be an accomplished cat, and I observe my siblings and my humans carefully. Tonight Dad was in the bathroom, and I decided to show him what I had learned.

As he dried off from the shower, I jumped onto the countertop, got into the sink and peed down the drain! And then I scratched around the basin, 'cause it seemed like I should do that. Daddy seemed more surprised than pleased, however.

Well, isn't that what he does? Pee into the porcelain? What's sauce for the gander is sauce for the goose, buddy!


It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

March 9th 2010 7:37 am
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My friend Charlie invited me to describe my day, so here goes:

I sleep next to Mom's feet, so my day begins when Mom's does. It's Bear's job to wake her up, though. He knows exactly when she's supposed to get up, and he doesn't like it when it's weekend and she pulls the covers over her head.

When she's finally awake, she leans down to pet me, and I do my stretch-and-roll morning exercise. Then I jump to the floor and do some yoga -- I like the loooong cat with butt in air position. Then I run over to the bedroom scratching post and buff up the claws.

Then we all run downstairs. I run ahead of everybody. Bear likes to give Mom a head start and then, when she has only a couple of steps to go, he runs down and beats her to the bottom. Then we all serenade Mom while she gets breakfast ready. I love breakfast!

After breakfast, I like to chase Severian around while the humans read the paper. When they're done, Mom brings out the laser pointer or the feather wand and Bear and I play with her for a while. It's important that she get a little playtime every day. My favorite is the feather wand. I like to grab it and play tug of war with Mom until she gives up, then I drag it away with the stick trailing after me and hide it in the downstairs bath, behind the toilet.

Then Mom cleans the litter boxes (I like to jump in and use them while they're nice and fresh, too, Charlie!).

While Mom makes Dad's dinner and gets ready for work, we go into the office and bug Dad. He works at home, and sometimes he puts us outside the office and closes the door. Hmmph!

When Mom goes to work and Dad is working, it's pretty boring around the house, so I go find a soft place to sleep, preferably in the sun. After a long nap, I play with Bear and Severian, or harass Onyx and Jasper. There's a squirrel that visits us every day. He sits on the deck and we stare at him. Usually there's some bird action, too. We have lots of windows and glass doors to look through.

In the evening, Mom is still at work, so Dad gets his dinner out of the fridge and feeds us our dinner (I love dinner!) and then we watch TV with him and sometimes give him a workout with the laser pointer. He likes to see me go up the wall after that little red dot.

Mom gets home around 11 p.m. I'm always first at the door to greet her, 'cause I heard her car coming into the drive. Bear is usually asleep in the cat tree upstairs where Dad is playing on the computer, and he runs down too. And we get a nighty-night snack (I love snacks!).

Mom goes upstairs and plays on her computer for a while (usually she's on Catster), and then we go to bed. Whew! I'm tired. But I usually go downstairs for a bite of kitty kibble first. It's a long time until breakfast!

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Family Pets

Bear DB #165a
Angel Onyx
Jasper, Angel
Dreamboat #49a
Severian DB
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Dreamboat #49b


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