The arrival of cat vomit is usually followed by a tornado of emotions, none of them good. However, is the witnessing of cat vomit an appropriate and suitable topic to be studied in the context of academia’s famed K├╝bler-Ross model of the five stages of grief?

We don’t know.

1. Denial

That noise? That gurgling and hacking in the guest bedroom? Could be anything, really. Sounded like someone starting an old Buick, to be honest. Man, that car is in bad shape. Me, I just sat down on the couch with my potato chips, so I can’t be bothered with an old Buick starting up in the guest bedroom, at least not until The Chew is over.

2. Anger

The guest bed?


The guest bed!

[A great crashing noise]

The guest bed!

3. Bargaining

How about this: I go back to the couch, eat some more potato chips, watch another The Chew, and then come back into the guest bedroom. Can the puke be gone, God? Just this once, Redeemer?

4. Depression

Aoooooooo. What’s the point in having this guest bed if the cat is going to puke all over it? Aooooooo. I should just let the cat puke on everything my guests use. Aooooooo.

5. Acceptance

It’s going to be OK. This is the first day of the rest of my life with cat puke on my guest bed. My guests are strong. They will solider on. We have a scented candle.

Top photo: Cat watching TV, via Shutterstock

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