Texts From Mittens: The Abandonment Edition

Mittens has had a heck of a couple of weeks. Mom went out of town for work and she never even warned him, even though she said she did. He’s pretty sure she’s lying. And plus, what good is a human leaving town if you can’t spend an hour or so lying around in their open suitcase? The whole situation was a total rip-off.

At least Grandma came to stay with Mitty and Phil, except that meant a trip to the casino with Drunk Patty. Mittens was certain Grandma was never coming back from her fancy new life as a casino employee.

And as if life wasn’t bad enough, Phil’s poisoned him and he’s just seen Drunk Patty’s skivvies blowing in the breeze. It’s just too much for one cat to handle.

Here’s some proof of the recent atrocities.

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Let Catster make you laugh:

• “Hello, My Name is Angie, and I’m a Cat-Huffer”
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Read more by Angie Bailey:

• Do Your Cats Demand Snuggle Time Like Mine?
• Texts from Mittens: The “Antiques Roadshow” Edition
• And Now, 5 Photos of My Cats Caught in the Act
• What Happens When My Cats Tell Me What to Wear
• 5 Ways My Cats Completely Own Me
• My Cats Are Addicts: 5 Reasons They Would Land in Rehab
• Do You Ever Wish You’d Given Your Cat a Different Name?
• What if Cats Held Office Jobs? Worst. Cubicle Mates. EVER!
• 3 Ways You and Your Kids Can Help Big Cats

About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.