Editor’s note: This story originally appeared in the July/August 2015 issue of Catster print magazine. Click here to subscribe to Catster magazine.
It’s summer, and people are making a big deal out of enjoying it, as they always do. But what about cats? Do they enjoy summer? What do we really know about cats and summer? I sat down with my own cat, Stella, to find out.
Me: So, how’s your summer going?
Stella: What’s summer?
Three or so months of warmer temperatures?
Oh, that summer. I thought you meant the summer where you take me to the beach for once in my life.
I’m sorry, you know I can’t do that.
Do you have any idea what it’s like to use a litter box that big?
I bet it’s like when I go to the bathroom in the mulch in the backyard, only better.
Wait — you go to the bathroom in my mulch?
Of course. Haven’t you been scooping your mulch?
Oh. Well, I’d get on that right away if I were you. Might be a bit of a horror show a couple of inches down.
You know, I let you in the yard because we have a high fence and I thought you might like some fresh air.
Fresh air makes me pee.
Back to summer: Have you done anything different? Exciting? I know the sun has been really hitting the back bedroom.
And the roof, too.
You’ve been on the roof?
Yeah. You haven’t?
You shouldn’t be on the roof. My cat should not be on the roof.
You shouldn’t leave the bathroom window open.
I’ll remedy that immediately. What else have you been doing this summer that I don’t know about?
Nothing. I guess you haven’t been in the guest bathroom lately.
What did you do in there?
It’s my spa.
What does a cat need a spa for?
The steam does wonders for my coat.
You know how to use a shower?
And a loofah. Why do you think I follow you into the bathroom all the time?
Well, summer is all about partying, right?
Who have you been partying with? Wait, don’t tell me.
Relax, we’re getting along great.
No wonder he’s been so skittish.
He’ll get over it. He’s just never pulled an all-nighter with a cat. I’ll be glad when summer’s over. We’re just getting started, pal. I’ve got cat yoga at noon, and the contractor will be here later to free up some roof.
We need more sunbeams in here. Can’t let good summer sunbeams go to waste. You know, most cats just sleep a bit more in the summer. Once we get those extra sunbeams, I’ll be down till next Tuesday.
I promised myself I would tell you about the shipment of fish.
All of this could have been avoided if you just took me to the beach.
About the author: Catster contributing editor Michael Leaverton has written a wide variety of articles in the last 10 years, very few of which after consulting with his cat. That ends here. Stella is a 10-year-old Bengal with a firm editorial grip on her handler, whom she rescued from an alternative newsweekly in San Francisco many meals ago. She likes it when he writes about chicken. They currently live in San Diego.