My First Attempt at Internet Video Is, Of Course, an Instant Classic


One of the hardest things about writing this column is that I feel like my readers don’t understand the real me. I work hard. How many cats put in the hour a week that I do writing? Further, how many bother to check their spelling and grammar? I have a running disagreement with my Catster co-worker Luna about the importance of proper spelling and grammar. Also, whether it’s proper for a cat to wear clothes.

But that’s beside the point. You all read my words and see my pictures, but do you really understand what it’s like to beat up on Ziggy when he steps into my mango box? Can you really comprehend the commitment I put into being difficult to photograph? Do you understand why I like sitting on books so much? OK, I’ll tell you the reason for that last one. I have a very literary anus. That’s why I’m so fond of moleskin notebooks. They say that Marmalade Hemingway also preferred sitting on his human’s moleskin notebooks.

Fortunately, Daddy has finally obtained the technology to record me at my most dynamic. He has a new video camera. With it, he can record the drama that is the life of Mina. As things progress forward, he will hopefully be able to film some TACB’s for you, and perhaps I can discuss with greater accuracy the specifics of Mina-style kung fu. He recently got me a fort at Costco. Ziggy and I have been fighting over it a lot. Perhaps we will be able to document some of our dramatic conflicts.

But, for now, we’re beginning with a simple video, something that shows my feline grace and dignity, and my dislike of having cameras pointed at me. I selected the music for Daddy. He wanted to play something light and whimsical. But I felt it was important to reveal my seriousness and grandeur. I feel like Dvorak really highlights my elegance and grandeur, while also highlighting the seriousness of the moment.

I’m not saying that there is no place in my life for comedy and whimsy. I’m an enlightened feline. I understand the importance of taking time to maul the roses. But Daddy chose to film one of those moments that I take very seriously. And, if the goal of these films is to show the real me, then I felt you had to understand the emotional content. Because you, my readers, deserve that.

So, without further ado, may I present, Mina’s Morning Constitutional.

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