I Sing Parody Christmas Carols to My Cats

I make up alternate lyrics to holiday songs for my kitties -- and sing to them!

Angie Bailey  |  Dec 25th 2012

I’m not ashamed to admit I love, love, love Christmas music. I especially adore the older traditional tunes. As soon as I’ve polished off my Thanksgiving pumpkin pie, I’m rarin’ to go for some musical holiday cheer.

Sometimes I annoy people because I like to sing along to these festive tunes, and sometimes I annoy them even more because I enjoy making up alternative lyrics to the holiday favorites. And sometimes I just annoy people. Oh, well.

I sing to my cats year-round. The cats are never annoyed by my singing — no one yells or claws at me. Not the way my friends and family do. During the Christmas season I especially love to sing made-up, on-the-fly parodies to my sweet kitties. Here are some of my favorites. No yelling or clawing, please.

“Walkin’ Around the Christmas Tree”

(to the tune of “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”)

Walkin’ around the Christmas tree

Looking for a place to flop.

Ornaments hanging nice and low

Swatting till some nice ones drop.

Walkin’ around the Christmas tree

Found a jingle bell to ring.

Later I’ll climb up to the top

And chew the angel’s wing.

I will get an agitated feeling when I hear

Voices saying, “Oh, good golly!”

Can’t blame this one on the Collie [I don’t have a collie, but hey — it rhymes]

Walkin’ around the Christmas tree

Don’t care what those people say.

I’m not gonna stop swattin’ stuff

I’ll just wait till they’re away.

“Up on the Countertop”

(to the tune of “Up on the Housetop”)

Up on the countertop

Kitty paws,

Quietly clicking little claws.

Down to the platter

Lots of meat,

All for me to lick and eat.

“No, no, no!”

They tell me to go!

“No, no, no!”

I won’t go!

Up on the countertop

Lick, lick, lick,

There’s a tasty butter stick.

“I Saw Mommy Clipping Saffy’s Claws”

(to the tune of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”)

I saw Mommy clipping Saffy’s claws

Underneath the desktop lamp last night.

She didn’t see me creep

Behind the chair to have a peep;

She thought that I was loafed

Up in that shoe box fast asleep.

Then I saw Mommy clipping Phoebe’s claws

Underneath that toe fur snowy white.

So I started feeling vexed,

‘Cause I knew that I was next.

I saw Mommy clipping Saffy’s claws last night.

Do you make up songs for your cats too? Give us a verse or two in the comments!