Hey evrybuddy on the interwebs, Skeezix heer.

During my web serfing yesterday, I found a disterbin’ artikul published by my frends at Petside that sed they did a pole ware they found that Amerikuns like dogs better than cats.

Even werse, my Dogster frends are gloating on thare blog that Dogs Rool and Cats Drool, wich as evry sane cat knows, is just rong on so many levels.

I don’t know if they only poled AKC members or whut, but it was an artikul full of lies, inaccurasies, and qwotes frum cat haters. Like frum Mark David of Warrensburg, Mizzeri hoo sed that cats are “nasty, stinking creatures.” Whut a horrid, hateful, absolootly false thing to say!

At the hart of the innaccurasies of this poll is the fakt that the peepuls they polled were hevily wayted toward dog owners, not cat owners:

About 59 percent of American households own pets, according to the poll. About 74 percent of pet owners polled said they had dogs, and 47 percent said they had cats.

Hello, Petside? Did it ever occur to yoo to use a pool of reespondents whose pet ownership mirrored actual pet ownership stats? In the 2009-2010 American Pet Products Manufacturers Association National Pet Owners Survey, there are approximitly 93.6 millyun owned cats in the United States, vs. approximitly 77.5 millyun owned dogs in the United States. OBVEEUSLY, cats are way more populer than dogs.

I neerly spit up on myself win I red this:

Clearly, there are dog people and there are cat people. But it’s not much of a contest: 74 percent of people like dogs a lot, and only 41 percent like cats a lot.

That’s kind of a “well, duh” statement, win 74% of the peepul yoo asked the qweschun to were dog owners.

Joseph Moreus, 61, of Westminster, Calif., understands why dogs come out on top.

“They have more personality. They are loyal,” he said. “Cats are all about cats but dogs are interested in pleasing their owners. Cats don’t care if they please you or not.”

I think maybe Mr Moreus has a heering problem and thot they were asking about RATS and dogs. Becuz, if I don’t mind saying so myself, cats put the PURR in PURRsunality. And we are vary loyal. The Cat’s Meow is always posting stories abowt cats hoo save thare owners lifes, like win they wake thare owners up in the middle of the nite to save them becuz thare’s a fire in the house and the hansum berly firemen have not gotten thare yet. Meenwile, the dogs in the house are eether sleepin thru it or escaped to let evrybuddy fend for themselfs.

And cats can be destructive, said Joy Rasch, 70, of Kennewick, Wash., who gets mad at the neighborhood cats who kill robins, quail and squirrels in her back yard. Male cats will spray their territory or get in the wood pile at 3 a.m. and “screech like bad brakes on a car,” she added.

Mrs Rasch sounds like she’s waring her cranky pants. I bet she yells at the nayberhood kids, too. Whut abowt the dogs hoo krap in her yard and pee on her bushes? Or yap nonstop all nite long?

They only qwoted one cat lover:

“Cats are 1,000 times smarter than dogs,” said Bonnie Hanson, 77, of Sioux Falls, S.D. She and her late husband had a black Siamese cat, Kitty, that she said “always wanted to comfort people, anybody who was ill or unhappy.”

“My husband would have chest pains and wouldn’t tell me. But Kitty would come and look at me and I’d know. We called him our psychic Siamese,” she said. “Every cat I ever had was a help and a comfort.”

They also sugjested that men (espeshully merried men) don’t like cats wich is just a big fat lie:

Those most likely to dislike cats were blacks, Hispanics and married men. Men were a bit more likely than women to say they disliked cats.

All of the men peepul I know LOVE cats, inklooding merried men. I did my own littul interwebs pole. NOT A SINGUL REESPONDENT sed they disliked cats. Heer’s whut the merried men sed:

  • Chase’s Dad sed, “Cats are awesome. Especially tabbies.”
  • Mr Tasty Face sed, “I’m not a cat person, but my best frends just happen to be cats. And they don’t get all uppity like my wife does sumtimes.”
  • Bitey, Stevie & Lucy’s Dad sed, “I love cats!”
  • Angus Mhor’s Sandy Man sed, “I just LOVE cats!”
  • Gnomey’s Dad kinda summed it up, “I love cats and live with three of them. I do not claim to be a cat owner, more of a comrade or even cohabitant with cats. I find myself in awe of how our relationships have grown over the years. The cats with one another and with my wife and I. We are all happy together.”

Well, I think I’ve prooved my point, But I went a step further and condukted my own pole. I asked my Facebook frends to anser the following qweschuns:

  1. Wich of the following best deskribes yer attitood toward cats:
    love (100% of reespondents picked this anser.)
    – like a lot
    – like a little
    – neither like nor dislike
    – dislike a little
    – dislike a lot
  2. Who do yoo think is smarter? Cats or dogs? (60% sed cats. 20% sed thare eqwal. 20% sed it depends.)
  3. Wich do yoo like better, cats or dogs? (100% sed cats.)
  4. Of the thing that cats do most (nap) vs. whut dogs do most (sniff krotches), wich do yoo find less disterbin’? (100% sed nappin’ is less disterbin’.)
  5. Who do yoo think is prettier, cats or dogs? (100% sed cats). Angus Mhor’s Sandy Man added “Cats are sartorially superior to dogs” (whutever that meens.)

So thare yoo have it. I think I’ve purrvided incontrovertible evidense that peepul like cats better than dogs. It’s no contest, reely.

Take Action!

Pleeze hed over to the Dogster blog and leeve the following comment: Cats rool, Dogs drool. We cats can’t take this lying down! Unless it’s naptime.