So right now I’m house-sitting at Community Manager Lori Malm’s house, looking after Beasley and getting yelled at by her cat, Cow.

Lori refers to Cow as a male cat, but Managing Editor Vicky Walker and I just discussed how we think Cow is a female cat. Cow is a two-toned feral cat with a notched ear whom Lori feeds. Cow has an aggressive, unrequited affection for Beasley — she purrs and nuzzles the senior Pekingese and Beasley soundly ignores her.

And then when I walk into the room, Cow hisses at me. And still I fill her food bowl. I would never put up with that attitude from anyone else.

That’s because, according to BuzzFeed, Cow uses a supersonic pitch in her purring to subconsciously tell me what to do. I just learned this in the video. Cats can subtly alter their purring according to their desires, manipulating us into feeding them — even at three in the morning.

Also, it seems that cats totally leak fluids through their paws in order to scent mark us, as if to tell other cats, “This is my human slave.” Possessive.

But whatever, at least my candy is safe from the tyranny of Cow the cat — kitties can’t taste sweetness. According to the video, that’s because cats are such fatties that if they could taste sugar, they’d get distracted from the savory taste of meat and die.

And that’s no way to achieve global domination.

Did you learn anything new?

Photo: Cat in space by Shutterstock

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About Liz Acosta: Catster’s former Cuteness Correspondent, Liz still manages the site’s daily “Awws,” only now she also wrangles Catster’s social media. That’s why she wants you to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and — her personal favorite — Instagram. See ya there!