Texts from Mittens: The Casino Edition


Grandma and Drunk Patty are headed to the casino, and Mittens wants some souvenirs. You know, highly swattable things like dice and poker chips. Mom doesn’t like Mittens’ request — that Grandma swipe these items for him. As usual, Mitty feels slighted. And what’s the big deal about bringing a poker table into the house? The felted top looks like the perfect nap spot! Still, Mom will have none of it. As usual, total killjoy.

Oh, and Earl stuck his puppy nose against Mittens’ bottom, and now our pal is forced to scoot across the carpet to properly dry himself. How embarrassing! Speaking of embarrassing, Fiona’s on her way over, and Mittens’ litter box is less than presentable. He believes Earl might just help in the cleanup process.

So much is happening in Mittens’ world, especially when it comes to casinos. And he’s gonna text — you can bet on it.



"Earl! Snack time!"
“Earl! Snack time!”

casino-mittens-chips (1)


"I win. Give me dice."
“I win. Give me dice.”



"Scooting is so undignified."
“Scooting is so undignified.”



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About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (originated right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to feed them.

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